Nature had not been kind to Ellie. She was short, not in a cute way, but in a dwarfish way. She was not good looking. At the age of 21, she was still a virgin, unable to attract even ugly boys.
Every night she prayed, "Dear Lord, take me now. I am of no use to you or to me. Please take me to heaven in my sleep."
Ellie was a religious girl. She went to church every Sunday, rain or shine. She never did anything sinful or improper. She did her best to suppress her angry feelings toward the world.
Christmas was coming soon and she would once again trudge through the snow caroling with other church goers. She expected no Christmas presents. She had never received a present. However, she had full faith that one of these Christmases; Santa would visit her and give her a gift.
As usual, she spent the evening caroling with her fellow Christians. Trudging home alone in the snow and the dark, she had an epiphany. Maybe she could trap Santa before he discovered it was her house and make him give her a gift. She ran through the snow the rest of the way home.
Once inside, she fashioned a plug the size of her fireplace and secreted it close to the opening. She set out a bait of milk and cookies and waited in the dark. Three hours later she heard the prancing and pawing of reindeer hooves on her roof. There was a whooshing sound and Santa popped out of the fireplace. He headed directly to the milk and cookies.
Ellie slipped from her hiding place while Santa was busily snacking and slammed the plug across the opening.
"Gotcha!" she cried triumphantly.
"Ellie, what are you doing?" the shocked Santa asked.
"I have been waiting for a gift from you for twenty one years and tonight I plan to have it!"
"But, but, Ellie I have millions of children to visit and only a short time to do it."
"I don't care about them. They get all kinds of gifts all the time. You'll stay until you cough something up."
Santa took a list from the top of his bag. "You're not on my list. I can't even tell if you've been naughty or nice."
