Eclipse

Jolly meets Mini

I celebrated my twenty fifth birth day a few days back. From the moment I turned eighteen I am living life of a drifter, moving from one place to other, from one job to the next, every few months. A rolling stone gathers no moss. I have been advised quite a few times. Gather moss? But bloody who the hell wants to gather

moss

or

mass

or

mess

for that matter? I am quite happy with the

muss

and fuss of my life especially with an occasional

Miss

thrown in to spice it up further.

Because of this nomadic life style I don't have many friends. I mean the 'best friend' type of creatures. I have only one. And I think one is enough for a lifetime His name is Baljeet but I call him Balu. Meaning 'Kido'. He takes that only from me. He is got a good job and has recently acquired a beautiful wife. He is always worrying about me. "Get a stable job. Start a family. Settle down." These clichés never bore me. I know he is concerned about my future.

Then I have got an Ex. Her name is Natasha but I call her Tasha. Actually 'Natasha' itself is the diminutive form of Natalia, a name of Slavic origin. But I have abridged it still further. Here again only I call her with this nick name rest of the world addresses her with her proper name, as is considered appropriate. We had been 'an item' since our high school days. We used to go to each other's homes as and when we wished. Nobody complained if I sneaked into her quilt. And nobody seemed to bother if they saw her straddling and punching or throttling me. Nowadays I call her 'triple X'. Two Xs for her chromosomal constitution and the third borrowed from the word 'EX' itself.

Also because we have a lot of XXX rums. And it is my favorite drink.

There is a third reason. I feel she is more womanly than any other woman in this world. Just consider this simple situation.

If I talk to some girl it is flirting and if she is talking to someone it just socializing. If I ask her "Why her boss is ringing her after office hours" then I have a dirty mind with equally dirty imagination. And if she pesters me with questions like why I am was talking to my next door neighbor. Then it is because of her pure love mixed with a small dose of harmless possessiveness.

This later, I think she is got an overdose of this female attribute as compared to other women.

So after a few fights we said Good bye to each other and decided to go our own ways.

Decided

. On the third evening she called me "I am weeping."

"There are a few of your kerchiefs lying in my ward robe if they would be of any help?" I asked her.

So she came to my room and we

decided

that we can still remain good friends after all. So now I have a

fast

friend and a

good

friend. Like Balu, she also keeps on advising me on what shall I do with my life? Or how shall I behave at my work place etc., etc.

A few days back she dropped in without any previous notice and came directly to the point of concern.

"Why can't you address Alok as everybody else does in your office?" She asked me.

"You mean why don't I call him 'Sir'?"

"Yes, what's wrong with that? He is your team leader."

"Team leader! Ha! Ha! Ha! That bloody back - bencher. The bottom chairs. The lotus eater. Sod him. Why will I call him 'Sir'?

"You know, He may create problems for you?" She said in a very solemn and concerned voice dropping it a few decibels lower than her normal tone.

I guffawed at that. "Problems for me? My dad can buy that whole enterprise of his lying down. He won't have to go to a bank even." I told her. "And you earn respect and don't go begging for it."

"Sweetie! When will you learn?"

"Listen Tasha, You on my side or his?"

"It is not about taking sides."

"Then don't bother about me. We are not 'an item' any more. So you go your own way after 'your share of cake' and let me bother about my 'cakes and ales'." I told her. "Any way I am not going to stay there for long. You can tell him that, to put his mind at rest."

And it was true. I had already found a new job for myself, all on my own, w

ithout any references or help or any other recourse.

It so happened that I was surfing the net on my laptop (my first love, actually my only love these days) when an ad popped up for a job as a data entry operator at the municipal corporation office at Kurukshetra city. It is a city some four hours run by bus. Not very near and not too far from the two or three people, I think, I care for, in my life. I applied for it and was called for an interview. I went for it. With my hi-fi talk and acting I convinced them in no time that there was no better computer wizard and no work horse like me in the whole country. I was selected there and then.

When I came out of the interview room after accepting the offer I was very much confused. May be I am making a mistake. Maybe I should go and try my luck at Hollywood or at the least, the Bollywood. But in the end I decided that I should be satisfied with the bird in hand rather than going after the two in the Bush. They asked me to submit my joining report on the first of the next month. I didn't tell anybody about my plans.

So here was I in the holy city of Kurukshetra at 11pm looking for a room to pass the night or whatever remained of it. But to my dismay whole the city seemed to be booked. I had started from my home town late so as to reach the city late in the evening, spend the night at some hotel and report to the office in time. But I didn't know what lay in store for me. I reached Kurukshetra at 7 o' clock. Since then I was looking for a room but to no avail.

I was told that the next day an eclipse was going to take place and so people from all over the country had collected here.

Havanas

were being organized. Prayers, chants, mantras and God know what else were being recited around the

dhunnis

. A lot of People had come from far off places, to take a holy dip in the chlorine Infested waters of the holy sarovar during the eclipse. What these people wanted to achieve by all this? Did they think that they could avert this heavenly event? It is a natural phenomenon. But the people think that it is a bad portent.

I remember reading about the eclipse in some newspaper but I didn't even know whether it was a solar or a lunar eclipse. But it didn't matter much. The crux of the matter is that whenever a third party is going to interfere between two parties interested in each other it is going to eclipse one or the other of the two. Nobody can change that. We see it around us all the time. We should thank our stars that this interference in the love affair of the celestial bodies is just a flirting moment and not anything permanent. Did I say flirting?

Just a slip of tongue

. A 'fleeting moment' I meant.

But this eclipse was no way going to shadow my appearance at the office tomorrow. I was of one mind to go to the railway station and spend the night on some couch there. But I didn't want to appear on the first day of my job with a two day bristle on the face, ruffled hair and blood shot eyes. So I continued my hunt and was guided by a rickshaw puller to try a guest house called 'Mini's Lodge.' "It is located in a secluded area and may have a vacant room." He presumed.

The mysterious tee-hee he gave with the advice made me doubt his intentions. Maybe he was playing a prank on me and at this very moment I was heading for a haunted house. I don't believe in ghosts and the likes of them though witches are another matter.

I trudged my feet on the winding road towards the guest house. It was totally deserted except a few stray dogs occasionally howling like ware wolves with their snouts lifted high, looking towards the moon. "It is close to mid night and something evil lurking in the dark...." These were the only words coming to mind. It's true that it was dark because the sky was overcast and the moon was hidden behind the clouds and there was no street light. But there was nothing lurking anywhere, just me working my way towards the guest house. I reached the lodge without any mishap and was relieved to see the porch lights burning

I rang the bell nothing happened for a couple of minutes. Nothing stirred. No sound of approaching footsteps. I was in two minds, to ring the bell again or turn around and go away. I imagined the door squeaking open on its own with that eerie sound and taking me in. But I remembered that those doors we see in the horror movies are always very massive and high double doors with a complicated opening and closing mechanism but the door before me was a simple 6 X 3 ft. with very innocent looking door knob. I decided to give another try and lifted my hand to ring the bell again when the door opened half way. Silently. "Well oiled." I made a note.

"Don't." An obese dark ebony skinned woman of around thirty five appeared on the threshold. She lifted her arm and placed one hand on the door jamb, blocking the entry.

Meet Mini, Mini Magnum

. I told myself.

She was wearing a nightie which reached till her calves. It was clear that she was not wearing any bra. I could easily make out a big dark areola with an erect taut nipple under the translucent stuff of the nightie. She was nearly as broad as she was tall. Her face was round nearly

moon

faced.

Again the lunar interference.

She had a big mouth with big lips, and a double chin. But her skin was soft and delicate just like a child's. Her eyes where big and black. I could see a hint of redness on their corners, a result of sleep deficit. All this was half covered with unruly jet black curls which reached down to fall freely on her more than ample bosom.

"And, muddle head, you have disturbed her sleep again." I rebuked myself inwardly.

Her neck was adorned by a necklace of faux pearls and all her fingers were covered with big gold rings studded with stones of various sizes and colors. And her long, well-manicured nails were painted blood red

. Blood?

I again thought of witches.

Can't be, the way they were painted, very neatly and artfully.

I checked her feet. They toes were pointing in the right direction. I felt reassured. Though an iota of doubt still lingered in my mind,

'Who goes to bed dressed like that?'

She gave me a very inquisitive and wary scan from head to toe. Savoring

her next

meal?

A medium height man dressed in a T shirt and jeans and loafers, with a knapsack on his back.

"Yes! S..i...i..r." She uttered the last word with difficulty doubtful whether the salutation was apt for me.

Whatever her outer appearance, her voice was soft, mellow and music to the ears. Can witches speak so sweetly? I didn't know not having met a witch before, I mean a real one. But I decided to take my chances. "I was looking for a room for the night."

"Room?" She asked with such astonishment as if I was asking for the moon?

The same one which was going to poke its nose between the earth and the sun tomorrow?

"People are sharing beds here."

"I could go to the railway station and sleep on a couch there but I have to join a new job tomorrow so I thought it will be better if I could spend the night some place where I could get a sound sleep and use the toilet and bath in the morning."

She pursed her lips then ran her tongue on her upper lip. "You won't find any place even at the station. Not today." She yawned, again presenting a generous measure of her braless bosom. "If you had come a few minutes later, you wouldn't have found anything here also. I was about to go to sleep. You dragged me out of the bed. She gestured me inside with her free hand. "There is a sofa in the reception area, if you want that. It will cost you six hundred rupee, I tell you in advance" She said.

So after all I have landed in a witches Lair though of a different kind

.

Six hundred rupees?

Now this is not what you call fleecing. It is simple and plain robbery. But I didn't have any choices and she knew that and moreover I was just about to fall dead on my feet.

"It is okay. If I get to use the bath and the toilets in the morning"

"That can be arranged we will add bed tea to it but I you want breakfast also you will have to pay extra.

"

Mercenary Mini

." I muttered under my breath.

She turned and waved towards the sofa. It looked worn and rickety. "I have a better proposal."

She lifted her pencil eyebrows. "You must be having some old mattresses in your store. If you could spare one I can sleep on the rug her under the fan. Why misuse a good piece of furniture?" She looked up at the fan. I could imagine her calculating how many units of electricity the fan will consume in the night.

Miserly Mini

.

I thought she was going to the raise the charge. But she must have realized that where ever I slept the fan was going to revolve the whole night all the same. So she said "Okay, but why old we have got some new ones. And we will find a bed sheet and a pillow too.

"Ohhhh!

Magnanimous Mini."

"No, no, just the mattress." I replied fearing that she may charge me extra for those.

"She asked me to follow her towards the back of the building. There she opened a big room where many beds and mattresses other items of housekeeping were stored. She patted one of the many mattresses. I lifted it and started back towards the reception. I moved the sofa next to the wall and placed the mattress on the rug directly under the fan and flopped on it. I removed my knapsack from my shoulders and opening it I took out my laptop and placed it on the center table then then I took out a half bottle of scotch and put it besides me.

I didn't notice when she tip toed back quietly to stand before me. She handed me a clean bed sheet and pillow. "What is that? She pointed towards the beautiful green bottle. "It is scotch, one of the best in the world."

She looked at it a little uncertain. "We don't allow drinks in here."

"Oh! I didn't know. I will go out and take one or two swigs and come back." I said lifting myself and the bottle off the floor.

She laughed. Her laugh was also something to remember. Like the ringing of ghunghroos (a musical anklet tied to the feet of classical Indian dancers).

"Just like that? Neat? No ice or water or soda, Nothing?" She asked surprised.

"Is there any other option?"

"Is it really Scotch?" She took the bottle from me with a spark in her eyes. She examined the label. "The bottle is very beautiful."

"Hundred percent. Do you drink?" I asked her.

"Rarely. Once in a blue

moon

."

Again the moon. Maybe these eclipses do really influence people's grey matter with some cosmic or electro-magnetic impulses.

"Have you ever tasted scotch before?"

"Once but that was a different brand."

"Do you want some?" I eyed my bottle nervously.

She looked undecided.

"I will put half of it in a glass for myself if you could find one and leave the rest for you. You can keep the bottle too."

"You know what? Come to the kitchen." She said making up her mind.

I again went after her to the back of the building. There was a big kitchen. I at once felt hungry. I remembered that I haven't eaten since morning.

She took out two very neat and clean sparkling glasses and placed them on the kitchen shelf.

"Is there any ice?"

"Buckets full of it." She opened a big fridge and took out a big bag of ice cubes.

"Now only if we could find some snacks." I said. "Lays or Uncle Chips or something else like that."

"We don't keep those."

"Bad for business." She threw an angry glance towards me. I liked the look of those sparkling eyes. "And health." I added immediately.

"Hey! What is that, under the shelf? A Tray of eggs?"

"Yes." She answered giving me a quizzical look.

"And I think those there are onions on the Floor. I you could just find a clean fry pan."

By this time she was quite intrigued by what was I up to? By the time she found a clean frying pan I had chopped the onions and a tomato and two green chillis from her fridge. I put a small amount of oil in the pan and poured all the veggies in it and added salt and pepper and turmeric to it. She was surprised at my speed.

"Are you a chef?"

"No! A simple computer operator."

Now where is that bottle

?

I poured a good measure for myself and a one finger high peg for her. I put some ice in the glasses and half- filled her glass with cold water. I filled my glass to the top. I sipped it and she also took a sip looking at me all the time. She nodded her head in appreciation. "It is good. Smooth and tasty. It must be very expensive?" She asked

I decided not to answer her, and pretended to be engrossed in the complicated task of breaking eggs in the fry pan. "The eggs will be ready in a minute." She found a clean plate and placed it next to the gas stove.

"You said you were going to start a new job tomorrow. Where will you be working? "

"In the MC office."

You mean the municipal corporation."

"Yes."

She was alert at once and gave me another searching glance.

"Don't look like that at me. They are not going to appoint me the new Deputy Commissioner. I guffawed. She joined me in the laugh.

"You seem to be good guy." Her tone changed somewhat. I don't know what brought the change, the mention of the MC office or the whiskey which she had gulped. She took another's sip of the whiskey while I poured the scrambled eggs in the plate.

"Listen, it is not good I shamelessly consuming your whiskey like that." She took a spoon and tasted the eggs. "Uuummh! Yummy." She said with her mouth full and kept on munching for some time. "So I won't charge you for the breakfast or the tea. It will be on the house." she said at last.

"No, no, nothing doing." I said and gulped half of my glass. "That is your business. Your bread and butter. We can't interfere with that. You heard the saying that if the horse befriends the grass what will it eat." This whiskey thing it just a friendly gesture. I can't ask any payment for that. I sad putting an artificial slur in me voice.

"This is not fair on you." She said coyly.

"Listen money is not the measure of everything." I said philosophically.

I finished my peg, ate two or three spoons of scrambled eggs and started pouring a new peg. She also finished her glass and put it next to mine. "You got any other ideas?"

"Listen ma'am, I am a simple man who likes to speak his mind." I said trying to slur my voice a little more.

"So?"

I looked at her for a long time.

"I have something in my mind I can tell you if you promise not to get angry with me if you don't like the idea."

She was again in two minds. I proffered her the refilled glass. She took it and gulped half of it one go. She stood there silently looking at me all the time. I also don't say anything just pushed the plate towards her.

"Okay. Promise. Now speak your mind."

"This is a friendly gesture from my side. A friendly gesture from your side and we are even. Isn't that right?

"She took another sip and said "Right."

"So.ooo remember you promised you won't get angry with me."

Oh ho! Come on, say it, what is your big idea"

"What about letting me kiss these sweet lips?"

"What?" she said, raising her voice a few decibels.

"Shhhh! You promised you won't get angry with me."

"A kiss..?" She said in a shrill voice.

"Listen, if you want I will leave immediately. There is no need to get all worked up. You asked me if I had any other idea and I told you what came to my mind. This whiskey also loosens my tongue a bit. And don't forget your promise.

"Kiss me? You want to kiss me?" I couldn't make out from the toneof her voice whether she was angry or surprised.