The bedroom was quite. The night had grown old and both Mal and I eased our way into the bed as we did every night. She had pulled the covers down just enough for everything below her knees to be covered. She always said a good night's sleep started with warm feet. I looked over to see the hem of her Iron Man tank top bunched up around her waist. I could see the black lace underneath, inviting me. It was complete torture and I knew I had to approach the subject soon. I just couldn't handle it anymore.
"Mal, babe?"
"What's up?" She was captivated by her phone. She had just downloaded an app that replicated the snake game from the old school phones and she was lost in it even as she spoke.
"Can I talk to you about something?"
"Thomas, is everything alright?" She had been sitting up in bed next to me with her ankles crossed under the covers, playing, and waiting for me to turn off the lights. Now she had put her phone down and pushed her glasses back up on her nose. "You can talk to me about anything, sweetie. What's the matter?"
I dropped my head and started playing with my fingers in my lap. Sometimes it was really difficult to ask her things. Sure, Mal and I had been together for over a year now and I felt better next to her than I had any other time in my life, but that didn't make this conversation any easier. I didn't want her to get the wrong idea and I was finding it hard to say the right words.
She turned to kneel beside me, her knees pressing against my left thigh. Mal always sat next to me like this when our conversations got serious. "Thomas?" Her tone was stern but worrisome. "You have to say something now. You've got me scared."
Thinking I was an idiot, I looked over at her and tried not to be as nervous, easing her into a better mood. This was the woman I loved after all. It should be easy for me to talk to her about anything and everything. "It's not even like that." I reached out for her hand. "I just wanted to talk about our sex life."
"Fuck." She nearly choked and was obviously very concerned now. "Have I been doing something wrong?"
I suppressed a laugh. "No, calm down. I'm super satisfied. I just thought maybe we've been together long enough we can start to talk about these things without all the anxiety and judgment." I rubbed her hand between mine trying to console the feelings I had stirred in her on accident. Her brow furled. She was confused and trying to think of what it could be that I was trying to get at. I put my arm around her and pulled her close into my bare chest. "Nothing to be scared about, kitten. I was just thinking the other day that we haven't really discussed some things."
"I don't know where this conversation is going." She sighed, clearly still full of worry. "I'm not about to let you use a riding crop if that's what you're getting at."
"Oh, no. That's not at all what I was referring to. I was just thinking about oral." I was trying to be as causal with the conversation as I could.
She looked even more confused now. "I still don't get it. I give you blow jobs all the time." She pulled away to look me in the eyes and her face lit up with a panic. "Am I doing something wrong?!"
"My goodness, Mal. You're not doing anything wrong... Here, get comfy." I pushed her down to lie on her back. I situated myself to lie on my stomach with my head resting on an arm that curled atop her waist. I looked into her worried face and used my other hand to stroke her cheek. "You make me a very happy man, but we don't have oral sex. You have oral sex."
Mal was a gorgeous woman. Everything about her made me hard. I could watch her unload the dishwasher and cum. Her hourglass figure was perfect with plentiful tits and ass. She has this intoxicating concoction of scents, from her lotion to her hair, which make my head whirl. Don't even get me started on all the cute little noises she makes. Mal was well aware that I loved her body. She knew how much I loved the taste of her skin but she wouldn't ever let me eat her out, and god, how I wanted to.
I could see the wheels turn. Finally it hit her and she grimaced with a look of complete shock and disgust. "Oh god, Thomas! You want to... but isn't that gross?"
"You've got to be kidding me." I was surprised to say the least. It was my turn to be the confused one. "Mal, you swallow on nearly all the blowjobs you give me."
"I like the way it tastes." She looked so innocent when she said that and it nearly killed me.
I reeled my mind back in. "And what about me? You get to taste but I don't? How could you be totally fine with slurping up my spunk, but be disgusted with me lapping up your juices?" I watched her think this over, but I was impatient. "You've got to admit that's a little biased."
"I just don't want you to be grossed out." She was getting anxious now and looked away.
I pushed her gaze back to mine with my thumb under her chin. "Don't do that. Talk to me, kitten."
She sighed, giving in and knowing that I was going to pry it out of her eventually. "The first boy I had ever decided to have sex with was also a virgin. We had met just out of high school and were super excited to be physical with someone. Problem was we didn't know what we were doing." She tried to look away again, but I wouldn't let her. "He and I weren't in love or anything, but we decided to help each other out for when we did fall in love. Neither one of us wanted to be completely ignorant. "
"So what happened?" I prodded, trying to get her to feel better about whatever was bothering her.
"Well, we decided to try oral one night. I did him first and found it pretty enjoyable, but he didn't feel the same about me." Every bit of happiness had drained out of her face. This was an uncomfortable memory for her to relive.
"What did he do to you, Mal?" I was feeling very jealous and over protective. I knew it was a long time ago and there was nothing I could do about it, but the thought of someone hurting her infuriated me.
"He said I was gross." Her eyes were on the floor. She turned to her side, looking away from me. She tried to pull the blanket up to cover herself letting me know this was something she was ashamed of.
"What?!" I was indeed furious. "What did he say exactly?"