I was looking for a place to unwind and rethink my life after losing my fiancΓ©e in Iraq 6 months ago. The pain is still there, but I sense it's time to put those feelings in a special place in my heart, where only I can unlock it when I feel I needed to visit with him. Something else was tugging at me though. I now feel a hole in my life that once was filled, and now left open again.
I'm driving up in the foothills above Boise this hot August day in Idaho. The road winds up and around past the local ski resort. As it turns into a logging road, I feel the temperature dropping to a comfortable level, but still bearable in my hiking shorts and button down shirt. I find the road levels off just before it starts downward into a valley, with no other mountain peaks close by. I look up to the right and see a trail leading up the ridge.
"As good a place as any", I thought to myself. With my long golden blonde hair tied up to keep it off my neck, I untie my shirt and tie it together just below my breasts, allowing me to feel more fresh air on my skin.
Then, just with my canteen of water, I start the slow trek up the trail to see where it leads. After several stops along the way to refresh myself with a drink of water and pouring a little down my neck and chest to cool my body temp off, I find the top at last. There's a formation of boulders with a single, lone pine tree inside it. Once inside the boulders, I look to the west and see civilization...Boise and surrounding areas. To the east, nothing but peak after peak of mountains that can be seen forever.
Feeling the wind in my face, I untie my hair to feel the breeze blowing through it. Running my fingers through my hair, I feel a certain sense of freedom from life's problems, worries, and something else that I couldn't make sense of. I shake it off thinking it was nothing. One of the boulders was flat on top, so I pulled myself atop facing the sun and breeze.
Realizing there probably wasn't a soul around for miles, I untie my shirt to leave it loose. The sun and breeze feels so good against my breasts. I feel alive again. I feel sexy for the first time since I lost him. It's not the feelings I had for him, but the feelings he gave me when he made love to me, especially the night he left for Iraq. We both knew it very well could be the last time to be in each other's arms, so close, like our bodies were one. The embrace continued for hours, our arms and legs wrapped around each other like a cocoon. It was like we couldn't get close enough to each other, no matter how hard you tried. Even feeling him deep inside me didn't conquer this feeling I had.
Without realizing it, I found my arms caressing myself while thinking of that night 6 months ago. The tip of my fingers had been tracing my cleavage, then under one side of my open blouse only to graze my erect nipples, then to the other breast, outlining the curves of my breasts, circling around my other nipple, teasing it, pinching it...wetting it from my moist tongue. My breathing is getting deeper....my fingers travel down my belly to my shorts...I unbutton my shorts, undo the zipper to allow my mound to feel the air flow over it. My emotions are taking over with each tantalizing inch I cover with my hand and fingers...touching, massaging, searching...
[Click, click, and click]
"Who's there!?" I yell. Whipping my head around, there stands a man with a camera that had just been taking my pictures without me knowing it, nor my permission! My hands are shaking nervously as I quickly cover myself and zip up my shorts. I don't know what or how much he saw...who does he think he is?", you think as you stomp towards this stranger who was invading your privacy.
"Excuse me? What in the HELL do you think you are doing taking pictures of me without my permission? Who are you? Why are you doing this? Can't someone have a little privacy even way up in the FUCKING mountains?"
"I'm sorry", he answered. "I was just intrigued by the sight I saw. It's not every day you traipse up the side of a mountain only to see a woman sunbathing on a boulder with her hair blowing in the wind. I promise I didn't see anything but your long gorgeous hair getting caught by the wind..."
"How can you prove that?" I asked.
"Easy", he says. "Here, look at my camera. It's a digital camera and has everything I took leading up to the moment I saw you. Promise.....here.....take a look, and if there's something you don't like, we'll erase it right here and now".
"Alright", I said, "I'll look, but if there's one thing I'm not happy about, I just may have you...arrested...or sued...or something...".
"Not a problem", he replied. "But I think you'll find that there's nothing out of place with any of these photos that I took of you. You're a beautiful woman who knows how to show her sensual side, even if it's just letting the sun warm your face. Here, take a look..."
Shaking my head I thought to myself, "Yeah, the sun was warming more than my face...little does he know." So, I take a look at the photos he took, and to my surprise, he was telling the truth. Whew...that was close! I would have been so embarrassed if he saw what I was doing to myself. Would he have taken advantage of me? I don't know this guy, but I feel like he's sincere and being up front with me. A bit embarrassed, I say, "Okay fine...I apologize for jumping down your throat like that. I was just totally taken by surprise when you came up behind me."
" I know", he said, "and I'm sorry about that. I just didn't want to lose a chance at capturing you. We photographers are accustomed to shooting spontaneously when we see something that we know would be a great shot. Forgive me?"
Running my hand through my hair, I can't shake this thought that even though I came across pissed, now that I look back at when I knew he was taking those photos of me, it was actually a turn-on. But I couldn't let him know that. I do have my morals. So how do I get him to take more photos of me without me asking? Hmmmm...
"You are", he jumps in, "a natural at that. I just wanted you to know that. And if you ever feel like this is something you'd like to do on the side, I'd love to work with you. I don't have a studio. I'm normally a field photographer and don't even do portraits or weddings or anything like that. But when I saw you sitting there, I just couldn't help myself."
Trying to hold a smirk back, "What about right here.......right now?" I replied.