I go to the same dive bar every Wednesday night for a bocce ball tournament. Nobody takes it too seriously, but it's an opportunity for regulars to get to know each other in ways other than racing to the bottom of a pint glass. After I signed up, I grabbed a beer at the bar and took a lap to see who had come in that night. The bar was dark as usual, but a little slow for a tournament night.
I hadn't recognized anybody at first glance, so I grabbed a seat at a table when a woman came up beside me and introduced herself. "Hi, I'm Sarah. You signed up for Bocce Ball tonight, right?"
Her chestnut brown hair framed her face, and her oblong glasses accentuated her bright blue eyes. She already knew the answer, she watched me sign up and her and her friends had signed up after me. "Brian," she said as she gestured toward the bartender, "teamed us up. These are my friends Dave and Meghan." Oh shit, I hadn't even seen her friends. I stood up to shake their hands.
"Hi, I'm James. It's nice to meet you. Is this your first time here?" I'm about 5'8" and while no longer in the college athlete shape I was a decade ago, I would still consider myself a good looking guy, especially for my age.
They were all in their early 30's, and explained how they were in town for a conference. Sarah led the conversation. "We were looking for something a little more fun than just sitting around and drinking, and someone mentioned this place as a low-key place with bar games. Do you come here often?"
"Pretty much every Wednesday night for the past couple years. It's nice to have a place where you can meet your friends and have something to do without having to drink," I said as I took a sip of a local IPA.
"Good to hear. We're all newbies when it comes to Bocce Ball," Dave interjected as broke my inspective gaze with Sarah.
"Well," I took the invitation, "If you want, we can get some practice in and I can show you the ropes." Sarah called dibs on having the 'ringer' on her team.
We took to the court, and I recommended we play a round first, and that would be the best way for people to learn. I gave Sarah the jack and told her to throw it in the general area of the end of the court. She overestimated the weight of the ball and hit the back wall on the fly! "Aah, oh no!"
I just laughed playfully with her, "It's okay, it happens all the time. I should've warned you to throw underhand, almost like a roll. Here, try again."
She wound up to throw again, like a cartoon bunny might throw a baseball. "Noooooooooooooo," Meghan shouted in slow motion, and she "tried" to block the throw, to no avail. We all laughed as the jack ended up coming to rest harmlessly at the other end of the court.
We all took our turns, with Sarah and I alternating our conversation between our personal lives and instructions on how to play. She stood about 5'10", with a thin waist and a sky blue blouse with the top button unbuttoned. Her small perky breasts were a perfect compliment to her slim frame, highlighting her athletic build.
We played two practice rounds, and at the end of them she high-fived me and said "We got this! I'm going to grab another beer, want anything?" I said I was fine for the time being, and went back to sit at my table to wait for the tournament to start.
Sarah came back from the bar alone and asked if she could sit with me. "It didn't take long. As soon as I got in line for a drink, some guy approached me with a terrible pick up line. Is it okay if I just hang out here with you? I'm married, and I don't feel like getting hit on tonight."
"Of course, I'm married too." I said with a reiterative flash of my wedding ring. "I'm harmless."
That got a slight giggle from her, as we dug in. She told me about her new business she was starting and how her and her husband met.
I shared some of the adventures my wife and I had been on over the previous couple years. "What is the conference you're here for?" I was curious. We live in a large city and there's a conference taking place every week, or at least it seems that way.
"I volunteer as the chair of a downtown business association, and we're here to learn about better ways to invigorate our downtown."
I explained that I'm a big nerd about civic engagement and public places. "Have you ever heard about a third place?" I asked.
"Oh, I just learned about that today! Isn't that where we identify the places we spend most frequently, like home and work? And a third place is a public space where the community shares some commonality?"
"Exactly, and this," I gesture broadly, "is my third place. We've got a group of regulars that come in, and every day there's some sort of programming. Trivia night, bocce tournament, a darts tournament, a big sporting event, whatever. And they host big parties throughout the year for regulars to all get together with a shared experience."
She touched my forearm excitedly across the table, "So this is real? Like, the third place concept? What did you have to do to make it happen?"
I shared the history and purpose of the bar, and we talked for twenty minutes about ways to incorporate something similar into her town. We had become so engrossed in each other's conversation, we forgot we were signed up to play Bocce.