4:57 am
It was still early. I sat in the car and sipped my gas station coffee. It wasn't that bad actually and I was so nervous I didn't notice if it was bad.
It had taken me the rest of the night to set up meeting with the "Couple." Actually their names were Shelly and Carson, but for some reason I just called them "the couple." I pulled my knees to my chest and leaned back in the car seat. I sat in the hotel parking lot, off to the side in what seemed to me to be a very nondescript spot. It occurred to me suddenly how accustomed I was becoming with this scenario:
Email, text, driving to an out of town hotel, etc.
It felt normal to me. Maybe that was the problem. Actually I knew that was it. My other life, my normal life, was feeling less and less normal. I used to yearn for time with Aaron. Now I look forward to when he was away. I had a couple texts from him about the youth sleepover, but I just replied with emojis. My heart wasn't in it anymore. I hoped that was temporary. I thought that what I was doing now, whatever it was-this experiment was temporary. But I knew it couldn't be. I liked it too much. I felt too much. The world was suddenly in color.
I could still taste the cop in my mouth. It was good. Better than this horrid coffee I was drinking.
I checked my email again. More replies, inquiries and lots of "R U the real thing?" emails. I only answered a few at a time. I needed to stagger it, as I never knew the next time I could get away to see someone. The regulars were starting to add up and it was getting to the point where I had to decide on if I wanted to see the same people or always find someone new. Then there was Jim.
Jim was still out there doing...well I didn't know what he was doing. But he was out there and he had started all of this. I knew he had plans and wanted things to go further. I felt a sudden urge to text him.
5:05 am
"Are you awake?" I texted Jim.
More emails to go through. I scrolled through the list and looked for names that I recognized. The fickleness of the entire process was amusing to me and shockingly easy. I liked how easy it was. It made me feel like I had power. But I didn't care about that. It made me feel wanted.
I sighed at my phone then got out of the car. It was close enough to 5:15 and I didn't want to wait anymore.
The walk up to the hotel room was uneventful. It was quiet and cold this time in the morning and my heart was beginning to pound. I had never been with a couple before. I didn't exactly know what that meant. I knew I liked men. I loved men. But women I had never really thought about.
I arrived at the door, took a deep breath then knocked. After a couple of uncomfortable moments (they are always uncomfortable at first) the door opened revealing a very handsome gentleman with silver hair and a kind smile.
"Tori?" He asked in almost a whisper. "I'm Carson."
I nodded.
He stepped aside and I walked in. My jaw dropped. On the bed was, whom I assumed to be his wife. She was leaning against the head of the bed with her hands tied to the bed posts. She was gorgeous.
Her hair was dirty blonde and long over her shoulders and perfectly framed her beautiful face (high cheek bones and all). She was in a black teddy with a tight bust--somehow her big--no very big tits didn't fling out of. Her long legs were bent and I assumed she was wearing a very tiny thong.
"Hi Tori," She said with a smile. I loved her. "I would shake your hand, but, well..." She laughed. "I'm Sharon."
"Hello," I blurted. I took a deep breath.
