Life is a rather crazy ride -- full of ups and downs, of twists and turns. It should be anticipated that everything that comes with it also comes donning on life's crazy form. Take love for example: you reach the peak one time, and then slide down a trough at another.
But if there is one thing I learned about the role of a special someone in my life, it is that he is supposed to help me make that trough as shallow as it could be, and to help me get through it as soon as possible. After all, however the cycle of my love life turns out would affect his, too, so it is better if we work on it together.
In a very lucky stroke of fate, I found a special someone who is willing to do that for me. His presence in my life is something I will forever be grateful for. With him by my side, I know I have nothing to fear. As long as we nurture the trust and love we have on each other, nothing can go horribly wrong.
Perhaps, that is one of the perquisites of having fallen in love with my best friend: I can be who I am with him without fear that he would run away. All I have to do is always remember that.
*****
Although life with my uncle was nowhere near close to life with my grandmother, I was happy to realize that I could live it without having to always fight off frequent bouts of homesickness. And why on earth would I suffer from homesickness, anyway? Lucas was there; he was everything I needed.
Yet, after my meeting with Marcus when Andrew was touring me around the town, I could not spend time with Lucas without feeling guilty. In a way, it was my fault. I suspected that I only had to tell Lucas that I saw Marcus and that he gave me a bracelet, and then, everything would be okay, but I could not just blurt that out when my feelings were in turmoil.
No, it was not the kind of turmoil that somebody who was in love with two different men would suffer from. I was aware that there was a difference between what I felt for Lucas and what I felt for Marcus: one was true love, the other was friendly affection. But I did not know how to explain that to Lucas if he ever asked.
'If he ever asked.' That was the key phrase in my worries. I did not think that he would ask, but I still wanted to reassure him that there was absolutely nothing he had to worry about concerning my feelings for Marcus.
Maybe it was not a big deal. Maybe Lucas would not worry about it. But I needed to make sure, and telling him about it would be the surest way of making him understand.
As the day of the ball drew closer, I realized that I was running out of time. I should either tell Lucas about it right away or deal with the consequences of him seeing Marcus at the party and finding out that I had seen my former lover in town about a week ago.
I was contemplating this while pacing back and forth inside my room one afternoon, when soft knocks sounded through the door. I opened it to the smiling face of Olive, one of the servants in the house.
"Master Lucas asked for you, Miss Selene," she said shyly, curtsying a little. "He is inside the library right now."
That was strange. I never received summons from Lucas before. Normally, he was very careful not to be seen alone with me, especially whenever Uncle Matthew or Aunt Susanna was not in the house. Today, both of them were not here, for they were supposed to have tea and then dinner with their friends downtown. Even Andrew was not home.
"Do you have any idea why he wants me?" I asked Olive as we descended the stairs together.
"Maybe because the mail arrived earlier," Olive answered tentatively, blushing when I smiled at her.
Upon hearing that, I thanked her and quickly walked to the library. I assumed that Lucas was in the writing desk section of it, and I was not wrong. He was sitting behind one of the desks, and he smiled at me when he saw me looking.
"Letter from Grandmother," he said, waving a sealed envelope at me.
"That fast?" I asked as I walked towards him.
"That fast," he answered, pulling me to his lap when I was at his arm's reach.
He began kissing my neck.
Since he only got that bold when he was sure that nobody could see us, I wound my arms around his neck and kissed him full on the mouth. The kiss quickly intensified as his tongue demanded entry into my mouth. When he heard me moan, however, Lucas broke the kiss, knowing that there would be no stopping both of us if he did not.
"How about reading the letter first?" he murmured, nibbling at my lower lip.
"That's a good idea," I said breathlessly, pressing a tender kiss on his mouth and then on his forehead before giving my attention to the envelope in my hand.
Grandmother's letter was not as long as the letter I sent her. She told me that everybody back home was all right, and that the roots for my special tea would arrive about a week after the letter, since they had to get some from the forest first and then dry them up.
"I'm glad that you are enjoying your stay with Matthew," I read the letter aloud for Lucas. "Give him my love, and to Susanna and her son also. Stay safe, and remember that I love you. Grandmother." I raised an eyebrow as I refolded it. "And she forgot to even mention you."
Lucas chuckled as he nuzzled at my neck. "Well, she also wrote me a letter."
"What does it say?" I asked, frowning when he took my letter from my hand and put it inside the drawer of the desk.
"It's a secret," he answered, still chuckling.
I pouted at that. "Why is the content of the letter she sent you a secret, when I even read to you the whole content of the letter she sent me?"
Sighing, Lucas prompted me to get off his lap and sit on the desk, facing him. When I was done obeying him, he grinned and held my hand.
"I will tell you the secret, but you need to tell me your secret first."
"What secret?" I asked. As far as I was concerned, there were only two things I was keeping secret from him, and those were the meeting with Marcus, and then the white-gold bracelet.
"Your secret," he said, still smiling.
"I don't understand," I said, swallowing.
"That's strange," he said, releasing my hands, leaning back on the chair, and raising an eyebrow at me. "I thought I was the person who should say that." Although he still smiled, his eyes were somewhat cautious as he added, "Andrew and I had a talk yesterday while we were out riding around the estate. He happened to tell me about your tour..."
I was alarmed. If Andrew told him about that tour, then, Andrew must surely have told him about Marcus and his father. My heart started thumping wildly inside my chest as I met Lucas' gaze.
"Let me explain," I told him softly, not knowing how to proceed afterwards.
