Don't rush to judgement 01
Hello there, I'm Jeff and I don't mind those who refer to me as Jeffery, especially since that seems to be a woman's thing and I'm happy to leave things be. I'm also pretty happy that Mrs. Nunez from behind my house lets her cat out of her side door after dark while wearing little to nothing under her evening robe, but that jumping ahead.
Anyways, I'm 24, which you would think is old enough to know better about a few things, but until lady luck actually runs out and bites me in the ass, what's the rush, right? Especially since I have a decent job down at the distribution warehouse and I also occasionally make deliveries on Friday nights at the Line Dance Club, which I'm happy to report, is a quiet haven of sexually inspired flirting activity as any of the younger 20 something nightclubs located throughout the city of Middleton since it's filled to the brim with 'neglected' housewives. I mean, it is mostly just harmless fun, but it's still fun.
So, my place, right? It's cool and it's a place that I took over from my parents when they moved 'up and out' a few years back and thanks to a mom with a pretty keen eye for quality, I started out having a nicely furnished house. The colors and patterns may be a little soft for my adult tastes, but since I haven't even developed adult tastes yet, it's all perfect.
Now, the property layout is a little less than perfect since my place faces forward as compared to the neighborhood behind me, but the good news is that the lot next to me is empty. Well, it's a utility lot with pipes, wood poles, steel poles, valves, huge metal boxes that go all 'buzz, buzz, buzz' and things like that, but at least I'll never have a human neighbor. I mean, the Aliens might land there and use it as a power source and a water refresher system and to make a phone call home, but as long as the female Aliens have boobs, who cares, right?
Anyways, the front yard is as narrow as I've ever seen before and the backyard is just barely more, but since I grew up with it like that, I'm used to it. Oh, and the skinny backyard is how I know all about when Mrs. Nunez lets her cat out while wearing next to nothing.
So, about the neighborhood behind me then. It's cool and even though I'm that 'guy' who has the house that faces the other way since I live on the main cross street, we all have something in common on Thursday nights. And one could say that we all meet just down the main street in the 'park & ride' area or one could say that Thursday nights are a 'non cooking' night since that's when the 'bacon lady' pulls her food truck into the 'park & ride' gravel covered area and feeds the neighborhood masses between 5pm & 7pm.
Now, her name is Mrs. Molly Molls, but I refer to her as the 'bacon lady' because she offers strips of bacon on literally any sandwich or small pizza that she sells. And she knows what she's doing because she has the entire neighborhood hooked on bacon. But that's cool too and don't even fret over how your BLT sandwich container won't close properly because not only is the BLT stacked that high, she also slices her own bread from a loaf and thickness is a blessing, not a curse.
Anyways, it's almost like a neighborhood block party on Thursday nights and a great meeting place because everyone patiently and quietly waits in line because...
"[Sneak attacks from the left side] I mean, I may have rushed to judgement the other night at the Line Dance Club, Jeffery, when I accused you of being wrapped around the bread loaf slicer's little finger and I hope how I later wrapped my lips just as tight around your manhood made up for my mistake, so?"
Oh, it more than made up for such a rush to judgement accusation! And by the way, when you're 24 and carefree, blow jobs more than quality as harmless fun, in case you're scrolling up and reading back.
Oh, and for another by the way, the bread loaf slicer is Mrs. Molly Molls' 18 years old daughter and occasional food truck helper, Island Rose. Who is not on my radar because she's just a kid. Who may or may not have someone wrapped around her finger. Which might be why she slices the bread so thick because...
"[June of 24] hey there, Jeffery [sighs], I'll have your BLT sandwich bread sliced extra thick like you like it in a moment, but [sighs] now all my friends think that I've stuck a gold mine with my hands wrapped tightly around a pick axe for the wonderful 18th birthday gift that you [sighs and slices] gifted me, so."
Oh, in my defenseless defense, I had to enlist the help of Island Rose's BFF, Karlie, for such a wonderful birthday gift because what I originally bought her was an emergency sewing kit for her glove box and before you rush to judgement, it was the $4.95 deluxe emergency sewing kit with extra buttons and everything! Which I still gave to her, you know, along with what have been described as 'super cute, super trendy, teeny anklet boots' with perfect sized heels. I don't know, I think they were black suede with gold flippy floppy strings.
"[July of 24] hey Jeffery [sighs], I'm glad that you made a personal at my graduation party today [sighs], except I'm nervous that you're seeing me in such a stressful moment because all my friends have noticed that I'm in such a distressed state and I'm so distressed [sighs] and worried over Mr. Bubbles, that I'm developing wrinkles on my fingers [holds up hand and shows her wrinkles, um, which look more like fingerprints], see?"
