This series is a telling of stories about Don and Lisa from the Dueling Duets Series
A word of explanation needs to be put in here, because this story has been rendered technically obsolete. There was a time - really, there was! - when the Internet didn't exist. There was no World Wide Web. There was no streaming media. And, believe it or not, there was no Hotmail!
Way back then - this was in the early-80's through the late-90's - businesses that wanted to move away from fax, telephone calls and (shock!) actual mail used bulky private systems such as ccMail and Lotus Notes or public systems like Telemail (which later became SprintMail.) You connected to it through dial-up on teletype machines, and then after they were invented, personal computers. Email was incredibly slow, and even more expensive.
This story is about those early days of a huge computer on your desk, and slow, clunky email. I hope you can put yourself back in that time and be entertained by the story.
There are other major anachronisms. Can you find them?
I was the last person to open up my fortune cookie. "Romance will soon blossom," I read to the group.
"But, Don, you're married!" laughed Anne, "you should already have all the romance you need."
"I don't know," smiled Fran, "he might be looking for something on the side."
"If he is, you two better watch out. You could be in trouble," somebody replied, "I've seen that boy in action. He's a fast worker!"
"I think we'd better get back to work," Mike assessed, probably worried about either a sexual harassment suit or lost productivity. The group of nine left the Chinese restaurant and headed back to the office.
To celebrate the end of three months of preparation and the kickoff of our next phase, Mike had taken us out for a Friday afternoon lunch. He was in charge of the computer rollout project. There were four people working directly for him in the pharmaceutical firm, and he had four consultants in this age of 'right-sizing.' Two of his employees were the twins, Fran and Anne.
The year was 1987, and our charter was to supply the large field staff of the company with laptop computers and train them in the rudiments. This was back in the days when a 'laptop' was anything that weighed less than 25 pounds and had a handle. Mike's staff of four people was in charge of setting up the computers and training the staff in the corporate order system; four consultants, who were employees of a training firm, were going to teach word processing, spreadsheets and email. This was in the days before the internet, and there was a public mail system that we dialed into. The way it would work was that teams of two people would travel to a city where we would spend four-days training 10 people in the new-fangled stuff. We'd be on the road 3 out of 4 weeks for the next year, leaving on Sunday nights and returning late Thursday evening. The teams would shift around so that we wouldn't constantly be partnered with same person.
The twins and I had carpooled over to the restaurant, and on the way back they started to taunt me. Fran and Anne weren't really twins; in fact, they weren't even related. But they were both about 5'7", nearly the same body weight and dimensions, medium dark complexions, brunettes, and their facial characteristics were uncannily similar. Both of them had impish dispositions, and were always kidding around.
For example, when we started the project, they both had shoulder length hair. A few days later, they left for lunch about a half-hour apart. When Anne came back, we saw that she'd had her hair cut to a shorter trim. We all joked that we would finally be able to tell them apart, only to be astounded when Fran returned with an identical styling.
In fact, the only true differences was that Fran was four years older than Anne, Anne was a soprano while Fran was contralto, and Fran had a ring on her finger, while Anne's wedding was a few weeks away.
When my wife was out of town, I'd fantasized about them both while masturbating, and once or twice I'd thought I'd made a connection with one of the girls. I would have loved an affair with either (or both) of them, but when you're working in an office with a young lady, you need to be very careful, or problems can crop up easily. Under the circumstances, I figured it was just a pipe dream.
"So," Anne began as soon as the three of us were in the car, "who's your new sidegirl going to be?"
I knew from painful experience that when the twins started teasing you, the only method of survival was to tease back. Otherwise, they just kept at you until you surrendered. "I don't know. Would either of you like to volunteer?"
"That's a great idea!" said Fran. "Let's play rock, scissors, paper to see which one." They both started playing the finger game.
"Hold on," I said, "If you both are willing, I think I should get my pick."
"Well, okay," said Anne, "which one of us do you want?"
"Does it matter? I can't tell the difference between you out of bed. I'm sure you would both be the same in the sack." This got me hit from both sides.
"I'm livelier than she is!"
"Yeah, but I'm hotter. You better pick me if want great sex!"
"Well, how do you know what the other's like in bed? Unless, of course . . ."
"No, I only swing one way," one of them said, "but when I swing, I go high! I hope you own a trapeze!" I was losing, and I knew it. Luckily we pulled into the office parking lot, and I was saved.
About an hour after we got back to work I logged on to the email system, and found a message waiting for me from a mailbox named FORTUNE.COOKIE. Since we all shared administrative privileges, it was impossible to figure out who had created the mailbox. The message read,
Romance can bloom, your fortune told you, and indeed it will as we discussed in the car. If you want to have fun with me, go to the window and talk about the weather.
So the twins were going to continue their joke. I figured I'd call their bluff and let them have their fun. Making my way through the cubicles, I looked longingly out the window and said, "Bob, it's too nice of a day. Let's go play some golf."
"I'd love to, but I still need to pack for our trip to Denver on Sunday. Do you have the Excel slides finished?" Bob was to be my partner for the first week of training, and he was a bit of a worry-wart.
"Yeah, I'm fine." I expected the twins to pop up and start in on me, but they both stayed in their boxes and ignored me. I returned to my desk, and about five minutes later got another message.
Your fortune cookie says, 'Your wisdom is great, and will be rewarded.' Just wait until the first time we are on a trip together. It will be so much fun!
I emailed back,
But what if I don't want to wait that long?
