Divorced My New Life

The story of someone who constantly reflects on where she is now and where she's going. I'd come through a divorce and found I was a different person. I'm still finding what that person is.

I think I should add that there's a mixture of sexuality in this story and I wasn't sure which genre to post it in.

I've written privately in the past but I'm going to publish this. If I get too many unkind remarks then I won't bother again. Thanks everyone anyway.

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The hug was compassionate, almost loving, but totally needed at that particular moment.

The dam had broken, all the pent up emotion of the split from my husband David, the disruption to our business and him moving out, it all spilled over into the tears which were now flowing as I put my face in the crook of Linda's neck. Linda was a neighbour and had become a close friend over many years.

"Oh god I'm soaking your jumper," I sobbed, and lifted my head up to face her. My body was almost convulsing with emotion as I tried to compose myself. We were still clinging tightly to each other when she ran her fingers across my cheek to get rid of some of the tears.

The kiss came out of the blue.

If it had been on the cheek or the forehead I would have thought it was simply comforting. But it was full on the lips. It lasted no more than perhaps five or six seconds, however when Linda pulled back her eyes seemed to tell a different story.

"I'm sorry Louise, that was so wrong, please forgive me."

My mind was confused enough with everything else going on without me trying to compute this moment of intimacy.

My reply showed my confusion, however it had briefly stemmed the tears.

I shook my head slowly from side to side and muttered, "I'm not sure what happened there Linda, I'm totally fucked up."

We were still in a clinch and I'd not had any such intimacy for over six months. David and I hardly ever kissed except when we had sex in bed on some very rare occasion and that had been a long long time before.

Linda was now holding me at arms length and avoided looking at me directly.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry Louise, I shouldn't have."

"What do you mean, shouldn't have?" I replied, "That kiss was..." I paused trying to find the right words, "was... a bit full on."

She didn't let go of me and I felt very awkward.

"It's just that I've watched what's been happening to you and David. I've known this break up was coming for a couple of years now, I've never said anything but it's really upset me."

I must have looked quite quizzical, I was wondering why my marriage had concerned her so much.

"You must think I'm mad, but I can't hold it in any longer." She looked really distressed.

My mind was racing, it seemed that I was about to hear how she either thought David was an absolute bastard, nothing new there, or how she knew some deep and dark secret about him.

She blurted out, "I think I'm in love with you!"

My mind froze, my body froze, I could hardly speak.

"What do you mean, you're in love with me?"

I was incredulous. She seemed so distraught having uttered those words.

Then she spoke quickly, it all poured out. "I mean I've had feelings for you for years. I've held them back because we were both married."

She took a breath, "I've had relationships with women ever since I was in my teens. Oh god it seems so terrible, you're going to hate me now."

My mind tried to replay. I'd got up that Wednesday morning knowing that my marriage was falling apart and coming to an end. I'd hardly expected that someone else would declare their love for me, let alone one of my best friends and a woman as well.

It was my turn to hug her and ironically the roles were reversed. I found myself clutching her tightly to me and whispering words of comfort like "Don't be silly, now come on, let's discuss this, I'm not going to be angry."

Gradually I became calmer. "Come on sit down, I'll make a cuppa."

Linda sat on a stool at the breakfast bar, where we were, in my kitchen. She'd come round when I phoned and told her about David leaving me. I busied myself getting the kettle filled and putting tea bags in the two mugs. When I looked over at her she looked a bit of a crumpled mess.

The tea poured and milk added, I placed the two mugs side by side and sat down on the stool next to her.

"Okay, so tell me are you a...." I hesitated, "a lesbian?"

It felt so odd just saying it like that and it made her giggle.

She looked up and with a half smile replied, "It's not like that, I'm not a lesbian, I like men as well as women, I love Jim, I always have."

"So how does it work, why are you saying you love me?"

"How long have you got?" she began. Taking a deep breath and sighing, she tried to explain.

"When I was a teenager I had a best friend, Lucy, and we spent absolutely every available hour together. One day we were messing about and we kissed. I won't go into the details but we started being really intimate. It went on until we both went to uni and then it fizzled out."

I didn't say anything, I just listened and sipped my tea. Linda was now opening up completely.

"Anyway I met Jim in my second year and we married just after we graduated, Then I got pregnant with Ruth. It was so tough but both our parents got us through. I think you know how happy I was... but... I've had secret affairs, not with guys but with women."

"How many?' I asked.

"Two, they didn't last long but they were really intense. It was while Jim was working away in Scotland, you remember?"

I nodded and then put my mug down.

"Sooooo? where do I fit in?"

Linda took hold of my hand and wrist, "I just think you're such an inspiration, getting your business up and running, not being able to have kids and then seeing you two drift apart... and apart from all that you sort of excite me whenever I see you."

I actually giggled and saw immediately that it was the wrong thing to do. Linda looked hurt.

There was a silence until I broke it.

" Linda I need time to think about lots of stuff. Me and David's business has got to keep going, he's gonna move in with his Charlotte and I'm gonna try to organise my life to suit me. There'll be a proper divorce and neither of us wants that to be a battle. I must admit this thing with you now has thrown me a bit but you mustn't worry, I'm not ruining our friendship over a little kiss."

Linda didn't look convinced, but said that she'd better go.

"Look Louise, I've gotta get back to Jim, I'll pop round in the morning and see if you're okay?"

I insisted that it wasn't necessary, I'd have lots to sort out and I would need space anyway.

We hugged and hesitated over our kisses on the cheek, recognising the awkwardness. When Linda had gone I let out an audible cry of, "OH FUCK!"

When I got to bed that night it felt strange. No David beside me, and the thought of Linda declaring her love. By way of distraction I reached into the drawer of the bedside table and took out my tiny vibrator from under a pile of tights.

I lay there fingering myself building a state of arousal. It was difficult at first, I kept thinking about David, then I thought of him fucking Charlotte in the days and weeks before I'd even guessed about his affair. And then I thought of Linda and how she'd been thinking about me over recent years.

Strangely that broke my emotional blockage and my pussy moistened enough to use the vibrator comfortably. I lay there, legs akimbo and my tiny silver bullet pressing down on my clit.

I came in a spectacular way, my hips bucking up and down and my orgasm going on and on. I heard my voice, as though it was someone else's, crying out in a series of gasping moans. When I'd finished I was breathing so fast, feeling so hot, it took a long time to recover with my thoughts in a total mess.

Thankfully I slept though most of the night, but I still awoke around six 'o clock. I got up, put on my fluffy dressing gown over my pair of baggy silk shorts that served as the bottoms of my pyjamas, and I went downstairs.

I'd left my phone on silent and on charge. There were several text messages waiting for me. I had to deal with David's first, they were about tradesmen working on two houses that we were renovating at that time. It took several return texts to sort out a problem and a final one to arrange for him to come over at the weekend to collect some of his stuff. I was muttering so many swear words under my breath as I typed the replies.

It was seven 'o clock when I got to the three text messages from Linda. They were a bit rambling and clearly she was confused about apologising to me and trying to reset our friendship. All I could do was to re-emphasise what I'd said the night before. By the time I'd worded my replies as carefully as I could it was gone half past seven and I needed breakfast.

With typical poor timing I was in the shower when Linda arrived. I heard the doorbell and had to yell out though the bathroom window to "hang on" while I dried myself and put something on. When I finally opened the door my hair was tied up in a turban and I was still damp under my bathrobe.

"Sorreeeee!" she declared, "I know I'm early but those texts, I got the impression we're okay and I wanted to make sure."

"Don't be silly, of course we are," I said as I invited her in and took her jacket.

"It's just that I knew I had a meltdown yesterday. It was you who needed support and I made it all about me!"

I led her into the kitchen and she sat on a stool while I put the coffee machine on. Above the noise of the grinding we smiled at each other waiting for it to quieten down. As it poured into the two cups we were both a bit embarrassed to broach the subject. I was first.

"So I'm such a deliciously sexy woman that you've lusted after me for years!"

I thought humour would break the tension, but instead it seemed to raise the temperature.

Linda got up and came straight over to me. I almost backed away as she stood really close to me, close enough to feel her breath. We weren't quite touching but that only lasted a few seconds before she took both her hands and cupped my face.

"Louise, if I told you that you are, then either you'd accept it or I'd scare the fuck out of you. At this moment all I want to do is to kiss you."

I could feel my heart beating out of my chest. Part of me wanted to push her away and part of me knew my body was reacting.

Before I could say anything she did kiss me. Softly, for a few seconds, then briefly pulling away before kissing me again even more softly.

When I did speak all I said was, "Oh god Linda."

I hadn't moved, I hadn't pushed her away, but I'd found myself kissing her back. It was like a tsunami that was washing over us.

The kiss went on, our tongues intermingling, Linda sucking gently on my lips before we totally engulfed each other with our mouths.

My mind seemed to go blank, I'd had no intimacy, no human touch for a long, long time and I held onto that kiss for as long as I could. When it ended we were both in a state of shock. Linda stepped back and we stared at each other, both of us red faced and it was me who spoke first.

"Jesus Linda, don't say anything, I just have to get my head round all of that!"

But she did speak, and she spoke everything that I was feeling. She spoke quietly and calmly.

"I've hidden my feelings about other women for ages until I admitted to myself what I wanted. It was someone totally out of the blue that brought it out of me, just like I've had this moment with you."

She could see my confusion, almost my distress and so added what she thought best.

"I'll go now, I'm sorry if I've done the wrong thing, I don't want our friendship to disappear. Text me when you've had time to think. You know your happiness is what I want for you."

With that she turned and let herself out, leaving me a complete trembling wreck.

I threw myself onto the sofa in the lounge and let out a cry, pushing my face into a cushion and feeling all the tension in my body drift away. It left me a bit more relaxed, but at the same time my thoughts and emotions were somehow aroused. It was a strange sensation as though I'd tasted something that had triggered an appetite for more.

In a moment of realisation I was feeling so worked up in the very core of my body. I was lying there and my hand drifted between my legs and my pussy was clear evidence of how I was feeling. I rubbed my fingers into my wetness, and I teased my clit, causing me to hear myself moaning. And then it became a need, a mad rush to cum. When I did, it was deeply intense and it surprised me.

Even more confused i heard my phone ping and I saw that it was a text from Linda, which made my pulse flutter.

It simply said, 'Take your time, I'm here if you want me.'

My mind shut down, I got up, went upstairs and took another shower, I put the radio on in my bedroom and sang along to whatever was playing. I stood in the middle of my bedroom stark naked, held my arms out wide and screamed. The curtains were open, I was on show to anyone outside but I didn't care. When the scream stopped I turned off the radio and picked up my phone.

"Linda it's me," I said.

"Of course it's you, you bloody idiot!" she replied. Then she sensed the significance of the phone call and added, "Sorry, are you okay?"

"Yes I'm okay, I'm definitely ok, will you come round this evening, will Jim mind?"

"No, he won't mind, I'll tell him you're having a mini crisis, he'll understand, what time?"

"Just come when you're ready, I'll get a few nibbles ready, I just need to talk."

It was left like that and I had some calls to make and a visit to a house we were working on. I got home about four thirty and took yet another shower and put some jeans and a jumper on. My hair was up in a long pony tail as it always was during work hours, however I let it down and combed it furiously and let it flow down my back.

Linda arrived around seven twenty. I greeted her in the usual way with a hug, but there was definitely a sort of tension in it. When she took her coat off I knew that evening was going to decide my feelings.

I fully expected Linda to be wearing something like me, perhaps some jeans or leggings and a t-shirt or blouse. Instead she was wearing a dress that hugged her figure and a neckline that was cut away to show the swell of her breasts, it was definitely a 'date' type dress for 'going out.'

"You look nice," I said casually. It was a natural reflex remark that I might have said as a compliment and a welcoming start to any evening.

We were in the hall and she did a little twirl to show off her full outfit.

"Thank you, you think so?"

The way she said it seemed slightly different to how she would normally say something like that. She followed me into the lounge and I tried to relax us both by offering her a drink.

"Red wine? I'll open a bottle," I suggested.

"Yes that would be nice," she replied.

She followed me into the kitchen and I went and pulled a bottle of Chianti out of the wine rack. As I took the corkscrew out of the drawer I sensed her standing close behind me. I jumped slightly when I felt her take a few locks of my hair and run her fingers through it the whole way down my back. Her fingertips dragged against my spine and it made me shiver. When I felt her breath on my neck for a split second, before her lips kissed my skin, I knew I wasn't going to stop her.

"Oh god Linda, you knew didn't you?" I muttered it, turning to face her, before we kissed.

"Let's go into the lounge," she said quietly.

"Let's go upstairs," I whispered back, with my heart racing.

I took her hand and led her up to my bedroom. I'd made the bed quickly that morning and the room looked very untidy. That didn't matter at all as Linda began to undress me in the middle of the room.

"Let's just get everything off," I interrupted as I took over, stripping out of everything.

Linda was tugging her dress up over her head and it felt crazy throwing my bra and panties to the floor while Linda did the same.

And there we were. both completely naked, face to face and pulling each other into a kiss, our breasts together, our hips together, our lips together.

It didn't seem to matter that we were doing all this in front of the window. Tom Wilson, the guy over the road could fill his boots if he wanted to.

Linda edged me backwards until I felt the bed against my calves and then she laid me down, very gently, and lowered herself alongside me. We were on top of the duvet which seemed to engulf us and it felt good to feel the warmth of another body against me.

We kissed and went on kissing with both of us exploring the other's body. I'd only ever seen Linda in a bikini before, her naked body didn't disappoint. She was shaved completely and her nipples were generous to say the least. It became a question of follow my leader as Linda touched me in certain ways and I seemed to copy her.

She found my most obvious trigger when she took a nipple between her lips, it sent a bolt of electricity straight to my pussy which opened my thighs and allowed Linda's leg to be brought up to press against it. The second nipple followed and I wanted to do the same to her. She didn't give me that chance. Her mouth, tongue and lips travelled down the length of my tummy, skirting where I wanted her to be and licking and kissing her way down the inside of my thigh almost to my knee.

I must have been sighing and moaning, I didn't really know, I was in heaven.

When the tip of her tongue ran up the inside of my other thigh I did hear myself call out.

"GOD!... PLEASE... LINDA!"

I wasn't sure what I was asking for but Linda knew and measured her reading of it very carefully.

Her tongue flicked its way into my juices and lapped back and forth making the most erotic sound. I stretched my legs wide, I wanted her to go as deeply as she could. When her tongue lapped upwards and slid over my clit I thought I would explode.

"FUCK... OH FUCK!"

I really shouted it out which seemed to encourage Linda into sucking my clit and making me push my hips upwards to gain the maximum pleasure.

"Oh god... oh god... oh god," I was repeating over and over again. I wanted the feeling to go on and on but whenever I was so aroused I came quickly and this was one of those times.

My orgasm seemed to go on and on, my whole body shook and my hips bucked up and down making Linda dig her fingernails into my buttocks to hold her mouth up against me. As my body rested back down the sensitivity was almost unbearable and I muttered, "Please... please come up here... I need you to kiss me."

Linda was breathing very fast and was so excited to have made me cum.

"Oh Louise, you're so good, that was quick!"

I smiled and kissed her, tasting my own juices on her lips.

"It's my turn now," I giggled, never having done anything like that before, "tell me if I'm not doing it right."

She was so eager to have me do it that she shifted her body, opened her legs wide and pointed them up to the ceiling as I went down on her.

Making myself comfortable I was leaning on my elbows and able to not only use my mouth but to also pull her pussy lips apart with two sets of fingers. And that's exactly what I did.

The long moan of pleasure that came from above me as I slid the tip of my tongue between her luscious pink lips told me that I was going to be successful.

I knew exactly how I liked to be eaten and I tried as hard as I could to use all the techniques I loved. Linda loved it too. When I licked she moaned, when I flicked her clit with my tongue she cried out, when I sucked her clit she almost screamed and when I introduced my fingers to the whole thing, she came like never before, or so she told me later.

"Oh Jesus Louise," she groaned, as she half sat up on her elbows and looked down at me, out of breath and flushed across her whole upper body.