Did You Shag Her

Chapter 1

Looking trim but not at all muscular, resplendent or so he thought, in his new tramping (hiking) clothing and boots, Todd Wells (19), continued to peer at the full-length mirror.

He rubbed his upper lip, still annoyed that attempts to grow a manly moustache had failed, producing uneven fair-hair stubble resembling a slice of a harvested wheat field.

Todd's mum Joyce crept in behind him, and placed her arms around under his elbows. All in a continuous movement, she locked her fingers of both hands and gave his backside an almighty thrust with her groin, hoping to scare the wits out of him while simultaneously switching on the part of his brain that drives young guys into launching into to sex.

Joyce was worried. He was two years late with that natural switch-on.

Todd wasn't scared.

He'd noticed his mum in the mirror creeping up behind him.

What the fuck?

The forced slammed him into the mirror, belt buckle banging against the glass. He instinctively jerked his butt back and his mum staggered backwards screeching in fright.

Serve her right, the idiot.

"What's up, mum. Dad been failing to rumble with you?"

"That's disgusting, Todd. Talk to your mother with dignity."

"Take responsibility, mum. All those years ago, you chose to hit on a fellow university student who was studying divinity."

"Don't blame me, son. I was too young to understand that some idiots confine their sexual activity to procreation attempts."

"Then tell him you want another kid."

"What, at my age?"

"What's significant about your age precisely?"

Joyce said it didn't matter. She'd come in to hug him while saying breakfast was ready.

Todd apologised for pushing back at her so hard, adding, "I had no idea you were horny."

His crimsoned-faced mother fled to the kitchen.

It was Saturday, and mother and son had finished eating and were on to their second cup of tea when Roy came for his breakfast, and answered his wife saying that notes for his sermon at church next day were proceeding not without difficulty, as usual.

Roy then began an impromptu sermon.

"Son, man should not go alone into the bush (wild forest or scrub peppered with trees)."

Todd asked was that a biblical quotation.

"It's my phrasing that threw you. No, I was giving you repeat practical advice, for your safety and for our peace of mind."

"Dad, I've gone into the bush since I was about six."

"Yes, but just inside the edge of it."

Todd nodded and said he'd recently agreed with his father he'd not venture further than a mile from their bush-edge home for the first ten times of fitness training plus exploring ventures to build tramping experience.

"Incidentally, what is the equation and rationale dad that you used to calculated that limit of one mile penetration was X-times safer that a 10-mile penetration?"

"Are you defying me Todd Joseph Wells?"

"I guess I am."

Roy's face darkened, his teeth showed and his hands curled into showing white knuckles.

"Steady on, Roy," his wife cautioned. "The boy is simply showing signs of mental backbone."

"I have Divine authority. The boy has none."

Todd realized the situation that he'd been longing for, the pathway toward greater independence had arrived.

"Dad, you claim to have God on your side. Here's your chance to test it. Strike me right now and risk being rushed to hospital after I hit back."

"You insolent young and ungrateful youth. Go to your room."

"I'll go to my room to get my kit and return to the kitchen to pack food and drink and then I'll be off on my first 1-mile incursion because I accept that initial caution in this instance makes sense. Eat your breakfast."

Todd almost added and take your wife to bed and pretend they were attempting to procreate; but he decided there often is a time when it's advisable to close one's mouth and keep it closed for a bit.

His furious father looked at his bacon and eggs and then at the doorway.

"Todd intends obeying your wise initial restriction in limiting his incursion into the bush," Joyce said sweetly.

"Good," said her husband, hands shaking as he cut off a small bite of crispy bacon, eyes not moving from his meal.

* * *

Angry at being bullied, Todd set off to take the toughest route, the climb of Bennett's Hill, a trackless ascent through frequent entanglements of vines twisting around scrub that grew aggressively where the tree cover thinned out.

He was bike-racing fit but still took a couple of 'breathers' during the ascent

Todd thought about his occasionally unhappy mother, now patently aware of what her problem was, and decided he shouldn't interfere. She was intelligent and would know solutions were available to her or to patiently wait to grow older until the problem dissipated. The situation placed a hanging question over the wisdom of some aspects of coupling with the one person for life, but what would he know when he was still confused about the whole thing?

Todd sighed. Heck, last year his first-ever real girlfriend said straight out she wanted him to fondle her and confused he really was. He ran. She attempted twice to reunite them, without success. He didn't actually spell it out for her but he had no desire at present to cuddle although gentle kissing was okay, kind of super friendly.

Resuming from his second brief stop, Todd sniffed the air.

Smoke?

He walked upwards and came to the end of the natural tree and latter scrub line near the summit of Bennett's Hill, the beginning of rocky ground and, presumably, low fertility. He thought perhaps the summit was an ancient volcanic vent.

Todd spotted a tent and beside it a woman working at an easel, painting perhaps. Nearby was a metal drum confining a fire of tree-dropped deadwood with a grill over it and on top was a smoke-stained coffee pot.

Time for coffee, he thought and wondered should he intrude on the woman's privacy.

At that moment, the woman stood, stretched and began walking to the grill, having picked up a bag of something.

He decided bugger privacy on public territory and called waving, "Hi, good morning."

The woman turned and waved and called clearly, "Coffee and a crumpet?"

Damn yeah, he thought happily.

"Oh yes please, how marvellous."

He arrived beside his instant hostess who held out her hand and said, "Kayte Williams, that is yte."

Todd shook her soft hand, said he was Todd Wells, and asked, "What is the meaning of why-tea?"

"That spelling of my name is unusual, it's K-a-y-t-e."

"Oh, apologies. I'm thick."

"Are you Rev Well's son?"

"Aye."

"Then being thick is unlikely. I heard his son was flaxen-haired top scholar and I once knew your gorgeous mother. She was a newly qualified teacher at my first year at high school. We girls never again had a math's teacher that we adored so much."

"Kayte, she's still a sweet person. Look, I'm sorry to intrude..."

"Shut up. I invited you into my bush retreat so just enjoy the interlude. I've camped here at most weather-settled weekends for almost a year, just after our twins began university, and I've never seen anyone come up that horrendous way from the west. Were you lost?"

"No, I had a row with my father over tramping in the wilds alone and left home angrily and decided to take it out on myself by going straight up Bennett's Hill. Christmas, parts of that climb were close to becoming a dangerous."

Kayte looked at him sympathetically and grabbed and hugged him, patting his back and soothing, "Oh you poor boy."

She smelt lovely and her hair was incredibly soft against his cheek. Todd wanted the hug to continue but... oh, well.

"Sorry, I sweated during the climb."

"That's okay, how do you think I smell after taking an extended 3-day weekend up here living primitively?"

Todd said, without thinking, what alone?

She joked saying yes, did he wish to join here and cried, "Omigod, you're blushing like an awkward schoolboy."

"Sorry."

Kayte said firmly, he should not apologise for displaying innocence. If he only knew, it was a treasure to be lost.

He said she had him confused.

Kayte looked at Todd gently and asked casually how many females were close to him in everyday life.

"Close to me, um just my mum really. That's a strange question to ask, so why do you ask it?"

"I work as a child psychologist, attached to a group of six primary schools. In our conversation, you have indicated some hesitation or even confusion as if you were struggling to produce answers to questions. Please don't think I'm overly pushy, I'm just being honest with you. The thought came to me that this guy is not used to talking to females. Are you at university?"

"Yep, geophysics with emphasis on seismic science."

"Omigod, you're an egghead. How many students are there in your intake and how many are female?"

"Oh, that question is loaded. Thirteen of the original fifteen guys remain, plus the original two females."

"And the senior lecturers and professor and assistant professor are males?"

"Yes, but we do have some female junior lecturers."

"Is my conclusion correct, you live virtually in a male's world."

"Basically, that's so, but we have female visitors to our home and have females among relatives."

Handing Todd a buttered crumpet briefly warmed on the bottom from the grill, Kayte said, "What about girlfriends; is there a history to relate, but only if you wish?"

"I've only ever had one real girlfriend, and that was last year at uni, and we had tons of fun together."

"Oh, that was great. Is she still your girlfriend?"

"Do you mind if I don't answer that?"

"Of course not, Todd. But for a moment consider that I might possess the professional tools that just might unravel a few things influencing your passage in life that comes with unwelcomed bumps."

"Wow, Kayte. You're as slippery as an eel."

They laughed and still chuckling, she said, "Are you ready to tell me what happened to bring the relationship with your girlfriend to end?"

"She pressed me for sex, and I bolted. She endeavoured to reconnect but I indicated no way."

"Do you have any idea why you bolted and declined to re-connect?"

"I panicked, confused. I'm a virgin and had no idea if I could handle the proposed situation and decided it would be best to keep clear of plunging into it."

"That's reasonable and certainly not catastrophic at your young age. There's no milk to have with your coffee."

"That's fine."

They sat sipping and looking up at the infrequent fluffy white clouds darting across that part of the New Zealand sky.

"Um, Kayte?"

"Yes, Todd."

"Um, why haven't you commented on my confession that I panicked."

"I'd like our relationship to continue. Therefore, I'll save my comment on that situation for a later occasion. It could be useful when you are next confronted by a bubbling lady. I'd like you to know that I'm aware that such a situation exists. I feel obliged to tell you at in my first year at university, I wallowed in more sexual experiences that I've indulged in ever since, and my husband Caleb once was by no means a single shot, single session a night performer."

"Wow."

"How's the coffee, Todd?"

Ten minutes later Todd rose to leave.

"You haven't asked to see what I'm painting?"

"You'll invite me to inspect it when you're ready."

"Oh excellent, you displayed no confusion there, Todd. Perhaps your confusion centres on pussy."

"I... uh... golly!"

"It's okay Todd. I tossed that in as a possible future topic to discuss intimately."

"Intimately?"

"Meaning a full and frank discussion between us."

"I should go."

"Yes, that was your intent. Do you wish to kiss me goodbye?"

"What about your husband?"

"What about him, Todd? He never asks me may he bang another of my female friends or one of the tarts at his office."

"In that case, a sweet departing kiss would be appreciated, Kayte. I'm finding you to be top-rated as a person."

"What, because I'm so constructive for you?"

"No, because you are so sweet."

"Omigod, Todd, you're capable of tossing sweet praise at a girl's ears."

They kissed sweetly and Kayte released him and said, "Go up to the righthand flank of the summit and you'll see a rough track that will take you down to a formed track circling the hill just above the bush-line. It is signposted. You'll find me here on most settled-weather Saturdays not long after daylight and I pack up about 4 pm on Sundays or on Mondays at public holiday weekends."

"Fine, see you around, Kayte," he said, blowing her a kiss.

* * *

Todd set off cheerfully. The totally unexpected had happened.

He'd thought tramping alone would give him a few pleasant occasions of sighting deer or timid birds rarely seen or small parties of elderly bushwalkers clinging to active life, with the real trampers hitting the trails well inland. As well, he'd expected it would give him thinking time in an environment of independents.

Instead, he'd just spent 90 minutes with a great laid-back sexy and informative woman probably around forty-five, but he really didn't know how old she was. Their twins were at university which meant they were at around his age. If she married at 20, and the twins were twenty-one that made forty-one or forty-two. She'd told him she'd been camping at weekends since the kids went to university a year ago, total forty-three minimum, perhaps.

Todd mused, and yet he didn't think of her as a mid-aged woman. She kept herself nicely when even out alone on the bush, err, in terms of grooming, and she appeared athletic in build and oh, ever so cuddly.

He was surprised to think of her as being cuddly. He practically never thought about females like that. It must have been brought on by their conversation. But it didn't matter, it was just a thought and anyway, she wouldn't be interested in him in that way, even if her husband was an adulterer.

"Stop thinking that way," he cautioned aloud. "Do nothing to disgust her and we could become real friends for a while. I bet because I came up to her in the bush and spoke to her nicely, and gave her a hint that I have a problem that she specialises in dealing with professionally, that I have evoked something of a Good Samaritan effect within her, or at least I do interest her a bit."

"Who the fuck knows. I don't."

He was aware that he'd just let out the word 'fuck', rare usage by him. No panic necessary.

Arriving at the formed track, Todd turned into the opposite direction to his home, deciding to walk around the entire sprawling hill to ensure he didn't arrive home too early to raise questions why was he home so early, initiating an interrogation by his father, in all probability. His mother would ask had he had a nice time and was he hungry.

Chapter 2

The following Saturday, Rodd was chomping at the bit to take off and up the longer but easier bush walk to the summit of Bennet's Hill. He walked off rapidly to the summit then jogged downhill to the camp site.

Rodd had thought of the possibility of Kayte dressed in a flimsy dress and wearing nothing beneath it rushing out and crying, "Todd, oh my dear new friend Todd, come into my arms, darling."

Err. that would be not entirely impossible.

As he negotiated the bend on the rough track around a bolder outcrop, Kayte came into view. She was sitting in her camp chair, paint brush sideways between her lips, looking at whatever she was painting.

Todd wondered thoughtfully would it be a painting of herself, an addition for her personal collection of her works, should the finished work be suitable for archiving.

He whistled sharply.

Kayte looked downhill, the direction from which he'd approached the previous Saturday.

The whistling was repeated. She looked uphill and spotted him approaching rapidly and screeched a welcome, waving vigorously.

Todd was disappointed that she was again wearing a paint-marked man's long shirt and faded jeans but there was no mistaking the delight on her face.

"I've been sad thinking about you having to survive the week without the company of a young female," she said.

"What?" he said, surprised that she was straight into it.

"I was simply expressing my feelings," she said.

And as he skidded to a half half-a-metre from her, she bent forward, seized him by the open edges of his wool zip jacket and top, pulled him forward to kiss him, their lips barely touching.

"Aw."

"I'm a married woman, darling."

There, that was progress, he thought. She used an endearment but had more or less indicated don't go dopey and read too much into it.

"I'm satisfied. That was a perfect chaste kiss."

"Ooh," she said, but he saw no blush.

"Nice jacket."

"Yeah, a bit cooler today. Mum included it in the purchase of all my tramping gear and equipment apart from the boots, which she made dad cough up for."

"Does she have her own income?"

"Yes, she's school principal at Green Meadows High for Girls."

"Omigod, Green Meadows has a roll of about 4000."

"Aye, 4180 I think the info on the electronic notice board says at present. She's not thinking of retiring and is not being pressured to leave."

"I ought to visit her, but if I'm to have a relationship with you, that would be unwise."

"A relationship, what kind of relationship?"

"Oh, that will reveal itself in due course."

"Are you suggesting an intimate relationship."

"That could be in the mix of possibilities."

"But you have been trained to think, dissect and reassemble things in your work as a consultant and at reasonable speed."

"Yes, like you are being trained in your specialist university training. But you are my friend, not my professional patient. Therefore, my approach with you is personal. It's coffee time. Let's leave the swill of possibilities to ferment, shall we?"

"Gosh, Kayte, you can uplift, twist, drop and turn an aspect of conversation almost in a single breath."

"Oh, really. And does that impress you?"

Todd said it impressed him, confused him at times and left him swinging.

"Omigod, Todd. You and I making rapid progress. You are edging to lift yourself to become on equal terms with a female other than your mother, I believe. You are putting more thought into your relationship with me, dissecting and attempting to pressure to reassemble a collection of thoughts that appeal and goodness knows what else is going on in that head of yours."

"Now hear this, Todd. Keep finding solitude to also work alone in attempting to untangle that mesh of incomplete, wrongly formed and misdirected concepts and attitudes especially concerning females, residing in your head. I shall continue to be of some assistance for you in that reconstruction."

"Christ."

"Todd, there's no reason to panic. You are experiencing something that happens to some extent to many people and many gradually sort themselves out through improvements over the years. There's a hell of a lot going on in our personal world these days. You may know it as information overload. Misdirection or undue influences during one's prime years of learning during our youth can have major long-term effect. So just consider my assurance: you are okay."

"Thanks. You did say it was coffee time?"

Ninety minutes after Todd's arrival, Kayte said casually, she should get back to her painting, the reason for relocating up the hill during weekends to take advantage of the tranquillity.

Todd wondered if her professional appointment times were allocated in multiples of ninety minutes. The previous Saturday he'd announced he should press on tramping as he anticipated Kayte was about to suggest that. He'd been with her for ninety minutes.

She stood almost at attention.

Todd, with his backpack in place, walked up until their noses were inches apart, he standing on the lower side of the slope.