Diary Of L

Finding myself single after nearly 17 years of monogamy I met a man quite casually who opened my mind and has begun to teach me and encourage me to let myself experience whatever I might desire for my own personal gratification and satisfaction. This man understands that all of my sexually active life I have experienced sex and passion by participating in what my partners wanted but never had a partner that I could trust enough to tell what I wanted. Someone I could ask to try different experiences with to see if I liked them or not. I was so inhibited I could not even verbalize to him what I needed. With kindness, gentleness, patient guidance and encouragement he has brought a new meaning of passion to me. He has opened a door to a world that I thought only existed in a world of movies and magazines and underground sex clubs. This is my true experience with this man. These are my real feelings and thoughts about this experience both good, bad, and scary. What you read are things that happened to me recently.

In February of this year I walked out of divorce court feeling lost. I was happy to be out of the relationship but being a single middle aged woman felt odd and unsettling. I was sure that my years of attracting men had pretty much passed. I was working at a job that gave me little or no exposure to the public leaving very little opportunity to meet any available men. Like so many these days late one night after having a very pleasurable but not completely satisfying experience with my vibrator I decided to explore the dating sites on the internet. It was mind boggling. First you have to pick a site, then all the questions and the profile. My God, how does one describe themselves when you don't even know yourself. It was at this point that I realized no one had ever cared what I liked, wanted or dreamed about in anything much less sexually. After struggling with this for sometime I was finished and entered into a world that I can only describe as exciting and tedious. So many people all looking for something. Here I was not knowing what I was looking for. I just began reading profiles.

After a few weeks of insignificant chats and weeding through scammers who prey on lonely women I was getting pretty discouraged. I was about ready to just give it all up when I happened upon a profile that seemed different. This guy seemed really, sincerely different. He wasn't looking to build a nest with someone or candlelit dinners, he did not mention long walks on the beach or commitment. He talked about a smart woman in a real short skirt that knows how to flirt, he talked about sailing and adventures, he talked about living out loud. I almost did not respond to him because I thought what would he think of a woman like me. Someone who could not even say whether or not she liked anything other than the typical monogamous, settled down relationship. I decided what the hell, I have little to lose at this point and who knows maybe he would write to me and if nothing else we could become friends. I had no idea that this tiny emailed message to a total stranger was about to make such a huge impact on my life and change me forever.

After a few benign emails we began to talk on the phone pretty regularly for about two or three weeks. We laughed and made an occasional joke that was sexually motivated but really never discussed this matter any further than that. Then came the day when one or the other of us decided to pop the question about finally meeting in person. A date! I was so excited about this up until the actual day we were going to meet, then I was terrified. A real date with a different man than my former husband who still felt like my husband. All the questions running through my mind. I knew he liked short skirts, I prefer blue jeans, hair up, hair down, which perfume, low heels or high heels, lip stick with color or just lip gloss, no sexy underwear but no one will know that anyway. I was overwhelmed by all the details and the whole process felt like a job interview or an audition. I was a wreck. By mid afternoon though, I had gotten it together. Black short, skirt with matching top, slightly high heels, rapture perfume, long blond hair down with a slight curl to it, light pink lipstick with lip-gloss over it, white jacket, and dark panty hose. I looked like a mixture of class and a conservative ordinary woman maybe headed for a dinner party or a nice restaurant , which is exactly what I thought I would be doing.

We made arrangements to meet at a local restaurant on a pier at the Bay. We would meet have dinner maybe sit outside have a drink and look at the boats moored at the pier. Innocent enough. It never even entered my mind that it would go further because I was living where I worked and he was from a town 50 miles away. I was a few minutes late getting there and he was waiting. We actually walked past each other before we finally realized that we were there to meet each other. I thought he was handsome and he had a wonderful smile. He smelled good and he was so easygoing that it wasn't long before I realized I was pretty much at ease with this man. There was something so incredibly comfortable about him When he talked he was open and he never said harsh or judgmental things and before long we were talking as though we had known each other for a very long time.

We were standing in front of the restaurant when he gently put his arm around me and guided me in a different direction and as he said for me to look I saw the most beautiful sunset I could remember. This huge orange ball was sinking below the horizon as if the bay were swallowing the sun. I just felt heat creep through me and take over my body. I was to my amazement becoming aroused. I felt a little embarrassment at this and wondered if there were some telltale sign that would give me away. If there was he never let on that he could tell. We went in and were seated at a table outside over the water and we dined for at least an hour or two. It just was so easy, too easy I thought.

I began to fantasize that he would kiss me, I was thinking romantically, passion was not in my vocabulary, I don't know that I really realized how powerful passion could be before this night. After dinner we walked to the end of the pier. I remember feeling him so close to me and thinking just a little closer and we would be touching and I wanted him to touch me. How could I ask this man, this stranger to touch me? Was I just so horney from not having been with a man in so long or was this physical attraction I felt about him, about this man? I didn't know but whatever it was it seemed to be taking me over and was starting to be more powerful than the self control I was so accustomed to. I could not wrap my head around all the things happening to me at once. My nipples were hard and ached, my panties felt wet to me and I wondered if he could smell the scent I was giving off from the dampness between my legs. I was listening to him talk and thinking why don't you just kiss me, right here, right now even with all these people around us, just do it. My head was screaming at him but my lips never moved and I continued to walk back to the shore end of the pier with him thinking he would probably want to go for a drive or something and the moment would be gone.

He surprised me by turning down a path leading along the shoreline. It was dark now but the lights from the pier and surrounding houses lit the pathway up like sparkling candles. The sound of waves lapping against the shore was soothing but the entire package was making me feel as if I were about lose control right there and shiver in orgasm with my pussy releasing it's juices leaving me wet and weak. Trying to act normal was becoming almost impossible. He must have sensed something because without warning he was kissing me. He kissed me like I had not been kissed in very long time. It was long and slow. The kiss was deliberate. Something in me let go, I knew he was feeling at least some of the heat that had now consumed me. After the kiss we walked a little further down the path and at the end we sat down on a bench. We were talking and kissing, just trying to figure each other out when he took my hand and with great ease and confidence he placed it over his cock. Through his jeans I could feel the hardness. I began to stroke it through his clothing and then without even realizing which of us made the move his pants were unzipped and his cock was out. He put my hand around it without a word. It was as if dancing with a partner you have had for years, all they have to do is put gentle pressure on the small of your back and you know where to go. He had this effect on me. Without warning or provocation I leaned over and put his cock in my mouth. I could hear people all around us, I knew that this was a walking path and that at any moment someone could be jogging by or walking their pet but so out of character for me I kept sucking and licking and pushing it deeper into my throat. It was perfect and I loved the taste and the smell. I for just that moment felt like I was getting more satisfaction from this than he was and it made me feel more like a woman than I ever had. I felt like I had control of the situation, myself, and my life for just that instant.

After I had sucked and licked his cock and stroked his balls and the base of his throbbing cock . I instinctively pulled off my pantyhose, panties laid them on the bench. I stood up and faced him, lifted my skirt and straddled his legs placing myself strategically and perfectly so that when I lowered myself my wet pussy slid over his cock like a perfect leather glove fits it's owners hand. A perfect fit. I began to move my body up and down with a slow precise rhythm feeling the fullness of his cock inside me and letting my mind drift off in any other direction than the fact I did not even know this man's last name or much of anything else about him. I refused to think about who on the pier or from one of the nearby houses might be watching with shock or amusement. I just let my body take over with all of it's senses and do what it lead me to do. After sometime, he gently stopped me kissing me and directing me with a self confident ease that just made me want him even more. He helped me up and turned me around where my back was to him. He put my hands on the back of the bench and bent me slightly forward and with a thrust he was inside of me. I gasped at the surprise of his cock filling my wet pussy so completely. He was so confident in his every move that I did not think just reacted. Each thrust was harder and I wanted to scream with excitement but I could hear people all around us. From time to time I would glance around to see if we were being watched or if some unsuspecting stranger was headed our way. He would quietly and calmly assure me that no one was coming.

As much as I did not want to get caught, the idea of someone seeing us together this way became exciting to me. I knew that this was an experience that would change my needs and desires for this man and any other I may ever have for the rest of my life. He had shown me a door that if I went through would give me endless possibilities to experience sex in a way I never had. He fucked me that night. Not making love, not sleeping together, no polite for society phrase, he fucked me hard and good and I loved it and craved more. When he finished, my knees were weak and my thighs quivered. My breasts were sore and my pussy would not be the same for days. I still get wet and ache in my pussy, with hard nipples just thinking about my skirt up around my waist and by breasts loose with him holding my butt and just pushing harder and harder and my pussy being so slick and wet and his cum drenching me even more. I was blown away when he took his fingers and soaked them in the liquid mixture dripping from me and tasted it. Not long after he did that I just had to try that for myself and to my amazement it was nice.

Not too long after we finished and after we sat on the bench with his fingers still exploring every part of my pussy we got ourselves dressed and put back together just in time for some evening walkers to pass by us and cheerfully say hello. I just smiled and returned the sentiment.

We have been seeing each other since that night and he makes me want to experience it all. I cannot think of anything that makes me more excited than talking and planning what we will do or try next. It seems to me I have this blank canvas that I can paint any way I can imagine, and my imagination is on overload. Thank you Bob.