Diary Of A Naive Sex Goddess

1: Feet and Back Seats

Dear Diary,

A few years ago, I tried something I thought was so naughty, exciting and dangerous. I had meet someone online...(I know) and he was really into feet.

All he wanted was to get a pair of my socks and to give me a foot massage. The socks would be the ones I would have been wearing. l agreed. He worked on landscaping around the city and could be in my area for a quick exchange.

When the day came, I met up with him at a park by the beach, in his truck. (I know, I know, but I had a friend sitting in the car I drove in keeping a close eye nearby)

We talked for a little bit then he instructed me to pop my feet up onto his lap. He took my shoes off, and lightly stroked my feet outside of my socks. It tickled a little bit, but it felt good enough. My nerves started to calm a little. He then slowly pulled off my socks. massaged my feet. I haven't had my feet massaged like this before and it felt great, like really great.

He asked if I wanted to do anything else, but I was shy or...something, it just felt too naughty at that moment and declined. I was a bit too overwhelmed with the idea. But the whole massage and taking my socks thing was pretty exciting for me.

I walked barefoot, shoes in hand back to my car having really enjoyed this little adventure.

A few weeks went by, we chatted a bit, back and forth, nothing too hot or heavy. He eventually proposed the idea of another foot rub, and this time he very directly said he wanted more.

I was still pretty shaky about the idea, and he could tell. He then made an offer that shouldn't have made a difference to me, but it did. (I'd rather not say explicitly here, but it definitely awakened a sort of sex work kink/fantasy that must have been dormant inside of me) It made enough of a difference that I not only agreed, I was wildly excited now in anticipation of the whole thing, and very nervous too of course.

The day came and I met him in the same parking lot. He parked in the very back of the lot. I had goosebumps as I walked up to his truck. This time he opened the door and let me up into the back seat.

A rush of nerves crashed over me as he got in with me. I was 15 years older than him, now in the back seat of his work pickup truck about to let him do what he wanted with me. Part of me still felt that it would just be a tiny bit more than last time, but nothing too crazy. Maybe he would suck my toes this time.

He leaned in to kiss me. It was a kind of kiss I have never experienced. Not a kiss of someone showing affection, but of a guy who just wanted to take me in his back seat. So long gone were the days when I was a teenager and would be "making out" with someone in their car. I'm a professional woman now. I was in the back seat of a man's truck I had no business with. I indulged in the heat of the moment and knew I had already settled on letting him lead the way. I kissed him back.

He then pulled off my shorts and scooted me so that I was laying on my back. He spread my legs and burrowed his face between them. I felt his tongue delve into my folds. I couldn't believe how wet I already was. I was gushing. He was tasting me and enthusiastically maneuvering his tongue. Any false sense that this would be a vanilla little toe kissing session began to vanish quickly. Already moaning, I also began instinctively gyrating me hips and pressing myself against his lips, back and forth. He mushed his mouth into my muffin. His lips pressed against mine, bunching the skin that surrounds my pleasure center.

I told him how good it felt as I practically whimpered at the pressure from his tongue. I expressed to him how wet he was making me, as if he couldn't already tell. His positioned his hands so that he had me wrapped up, raising my hips up from the seat.

His wedding ring was now in undeniable view as his large hands held my thigh. I know he had mentioned that he was married but had always downplayed it. Or maybe I did. Almost as if they had both moved on and him still being married was just a technicality. His thick titanium ring was in full view, and I couldn't ignore it. I could feel the impression it was making on my skin. I was his illicit affair, his secret, "the other woman", it felt so dirty. I could let myself gloss over it when it was briefly mentioned in our text conversations, but I couldn't now.

It was already dirty enough that that this 26 year old younger man had me practically balled up In the back of his truck burying his tongue into a mature, older woman. He was married! He was having me for lunch, and I was allowing it.

"I'm ready to fuck you now" he said to me as he leaned back up. He reached for a condom in the front seat. While he did I took him in my mouth.

The sucking noises were followed by what sounded like a needy moan;

"Mmmm, mmmm, mmmm" was the sound I made while my mouth was full of him.

He then slid the condom on and pulled my hips towards him, I was again flat on my back. He penetrated me so swiftly. Being so wet he slid right in my...I gasped.

He felt so good. I swore, I never swear, but it just came out of me. He pumped in an out, wasting no time establishing significant thrusts. There was no gentleness, except for when he stopped to lean over a kiss me again. He then returned to pounding me.

I was screaming now. Loudly. He pinned my feet back behind me, so they were pressed against the window above my head. He was a stud. The intensity would normally have been too much for me to bear, but now I yelled out, YES! Encouraging him to ravish me further.

My screams were practically panicky. I yelled out that he was tearing me up. I actually yelled that!

He stopped and asked me if I wanted more. Maybe my fingers gripping him as I felt I had lost all control, and I was going to be pounded into oblivion gave him pause.

I told him yes, I wanted more. He wanted me to repeat it.

"Tell me you want more" he released his grip letting my legs fall back down to the seat.

I complied, and he had me begging him to take me for a ride again in which I wasn't even sure if I could handle.

This time he leaned down to me. He said there was someone walking by the path near the truck. Ducked below the window, and probably not wanting to risk me screaming again he just kissed me. This time it did feel passionate. The weight of him on top of me and his slow kiss seemed to sink me deep in the seat. He was inside me again, but slower. Swerving around inside me as opposed to thrusting.

He looked out the window again, still on the lookout for passersby's, then returned to kissing my lips. I could taste myself on his tongue. His gentle rolling, wavelike pelvic motion had made this so erotic. I loved how long he was lasting.

This felt so different than the high intensity thrashing he just gave me.

I felt warm and comfy. This was sweet and the moment was calming. I tried to make room for my legs to open wider so more of his weight, like a blanket would sink into me. I found myself embracing him sensually. He was kissing me the way he would a lover, or a wife. I told him l loved his beard. He whispered into my ear that he loved my pussy.

This felt so much more like lovemaking. I couldn't fight up a wave of emotions that it brought on. I was actually crying! A therapeutic type of cry that was trapped inside of me and I needed so much to let out. He took a break from kissing me and pulled my foot to him. He began sucking on my toes. I was reminded how much he liked feet. It felt good and I told him so.

Break time was over, I felt his intensity begin to build again. His hands repositioning to get a strong hold on me. A strong hold for thrusting. My toes began to curl as the energy mounted. The docile sweet love moment was over fast.

He pulled me back up saying he was going to take me from behind now. I got into position and was now looking out the window. He grabbed hold of my hips, I blurted out that I wanted him to F me so hard. Hearing myself say that sounded so crass, I never talk like that, but I was taken over.

I liked the feeling of his balls slapping me as he thrusted, and I told him so. I couldn't believe I would say such a thing, but I did, like I was professing my undying love for something. It was silly. He had me pressed up against the glass when he told me that he didn't have tinted windows. I couldn't have turned a redder shade in my face. He could tell he needed to get me back on my back. I was too nervous at the thought of someone walking by and seeing my face and tits pressed up against the glass.

When he was back on top of me his sweat dripped down on my chest. I liked making him sweat. He got in to position for what had to be the coup de grace. I was certain he must be close to finishing.

He plunged into me hard. Pulled my hips onto him forcing him deeper. It was almost unbearable, in a good way, but still. His pace worked me up into a frenzy, my screams higher in pitch and I lost all control.

Then it hit me. I was going to cum.

"Oh my God, I'm gonna cum!" I shouted

"I'm gonna cum"

This was followed by my loudest screams yet, but just as I was about to wail, he leaned his weight down on my and covered my mouth with his hand.

My uncontrolled squeals suppressed into his hand. Hearing my muffled scream brought me over the edge. He held my mouth as I nearly convulsed with an orgasm that must have made him feel like he was riding a bucking bronco.

He let up and I was sobbing, I praised his cock, another uncharacteristically shrewd remark from me.

He wasn't done, he picked up his rhythm again, his sweat now dripping steadily on my tits. In a relationship this would have been off putting, but when he apologized as he noticed, I told him I loved it as I panted and got soaked with his sweat.

Again, he pinned my feet behind my head, my toes pressed on the glass behind me. As he stacked me up he thrusted into me with so much power, I felt I could break. His thighs slapping against my ass as he pounded was sure to leave a mark.

I was going to cum again. It had been quite a while since I had even had one, let alone two. Notes octaves higher than I've ever hit were flowing from me. His intensity was unrelenting, and I couldn't even brace myself. It was other worldly for me. I was practically bellowing.

I could feel now that he was nearing his climax. His furious pace began to lose rhythm. I told him he could pull out and take off the condom and cum on my tits.

He let out a moan. He pulled his cock from me, only the ring of the condom wrapped around his shaft the rest had broken away. He had cum inside of me.

A new panic set in as he helped me sit up, we were both trying to catch our breath. That was absolutely amazing, but I didn't know what to do. I asked him if he had water so I could rinse him out of me.

He did. We opened the door of the car, and he rinsed my raw and now filled pussy with the flow of cold water from the bottle. As he cleaned me up he told me how great I felt. I was flying high, that was my every fantasy, I told him.

More tears streamed down my face, I was so overwhelmed. He doused more water over me; I was scared but more immediately I was in the clouds.

As I walked back to my car, barefoot again and holding my shoes, as he had claimed my socks again, I couldn't help but smile. This may have been the greatest sexual experience of my life.

2: Reminisce Bliss

When I think back of the experience I described in Diary: Feet and Back Seats (#diaryofanaivegoddess) I'm still in a kind of awe, as it so uncharacteristic of me.

It was so out of character, even just talking to him to begin with, or agreeing to give him my socks! I never even knew of anything like that before he messaged me. I can't believe how naive I was to go along with it, but I also think I still could be talked into it again.

Back then, I did say no to another meeting. I think I was more than satisfied with how the first one (well, two) turned out and didn't want to spoil a perfect moment in time.

While I was writing about it recently, I also had an idea that maybe deep down I was afraid. Things had escalated so fast, from the first meeting to the second. His requests were never something I would agree to before, heck, he wasn't even someone I would agree to see before, especially privately. When I got into his truck, I was on this trance like journey, fully at his whim for this one moment. I completely gave myself over to total stranger. A stranger who I had only met because he has a foot fetish and wanted a pair of my dirty socks.

As I wrote and remembered it; I could clearly still hear the sound of myself screaming while his hand covered my mouth in his back seat. I remember that sound being shocking. Part of me couldn't believe he was doing that. It made me feel so controlled and restrained. I also felt like, he could do whatever he wanted to me back there, no one would know, and I couldn't stop him. It was terrifying but also so exhilarating. I think it's partly what brought me to tears.

I keep having daydreams that he sees the post (I posted this on Tumblr), and he reaches back out to me. I wonder if he would still have complete power over me. I wonder if I would feel that same ecstasy again.

3: Third Times a Dream

Re-experiencing the day as I wrote about it ended up giving me wild dreams.

I think what made me so susceptible or agreeable to his control was that I was vulnerable and naive. I didn't anticipate how much he would "up the stakes" the second time around. Since I didn't anticipate, I had no real defense. I was up for anything, because I didn't think "anything" would actually entail such a debaucherous romp.

In my last entry I pondered why I turned down a third visit. At the time, everything was perfect, I didn't want to ruin that. Recently I wondered if I was scared because of how swiftly and mindlessly submitted. Maybe another reason, I could no longer ignore the blatant adultery. I didn't even know he was married the first time we met, so I could claim innocence. Besides, it was just a foot rub, and I gave him my socks. It was all fairly harmless. The second time was obviously not so innocent. For part of it, I stared at his thick wedding ring as his big hands wrapped and imprinted on my thigh. It felt the cool metal touch my lips as he cupped his hand over my mouth to silence my orgasmic screams.

Last night, I finally dreamed of that next visit. The dream left me equally emotional as the day he came in me, in his truck.

**The dream**

I was so nervous. For all the reasons I just mentioned. This time, I was determined that I wouldn't fully succumb to his own fantasy. I was excited but wanted to keep a little more control. Even though I was absolutely in the clouds after our previous, real life, visit. I wasn't so naive this time, so it was harder for me to feel so "open for anything."

I hopped into the back of his truck life before. I was excited to see him. He was already naked. His cock was hard, I remembered it, I remembered what he did to me with it, and I was instantly aroused. In the dream I told him I wasn't ready for that, but he looked at me slyly;

"That's why I had to surprise you with it"

He pulled me towards him, and I leaned into him and took him in my mouth right away. I couldn't help but make a "yummy" noises, an obscene moan, as I obediently slurped on him.

In a bit of dream magic, he had me naked very quickly after I got to work. I wanted to tell him that he had to be patient and wait if he wanted my clothes off, but my mouth was full, and I didn't know how to fix that in the dream. I mumbled something with my mouthful, but as I murmured, I was completely stripped.

"Do you want me on my back again?" I asked him, betraying my resolve to exercise some control.

He told me that he remembered I was flexible and this time he had another position in mind. He sat me in the middle of his back seat. I was nervous. I was hoping I was actually flexible enough for what he had in mind. He reached his hand and grabbed me at my inner thing, one finger split my lips that were already moist, the others cupped my ass and thigh.

Having felt how wet I was he looked at me and said;

"I could easily slide right in there couldn't I?"

I felt embarrassed, but nothing mattered, I knew at this moment, I was his again, in Any way he wanted me. I looked into his eyes knowing he could sense my fear mixed with my enthusiastic total submission.

He walked his fingers up my thing, lifting up my leg as he did. Once I felt my tows touch the window, he wrapped the shoulder belt around my ankle to hold it in place. He quickly did the same to my other leg leaving me spread wide open and bound by the straps around my raised ankles.

He reached up into the front seat, like he had done in real life to grab a condom, but this time he unlocked the door. He scooted up into the front and started and revved the engine. I was helplessly spread wide open in the back seat. Somehow I was sitting on my own hands too and I couldn't free them. I was thinking that I didn't even realize he did that to me.

The passenger door swung open, and another man jumped in. In the dream I seemed to know that this man was a friend of his, but it was also, unmistakably, my ex-boyfriend. He wasn't my ex in the dream, he was "Vic's" (I've never said his name yet) friend. My ex, Dan, in real life, but Vic's friend in the dream, looked back at me, hungrily as Vic sped off.

I had nowhere to hide or gain any sort of modesty as I was completely spread eagle and naked and he took me all in. I was so exposed and confused.

"Now we're really going to have some fun with you! He said as they high fived each other.

"You can't see me like this!" I protested

"Vic! This is not what you want!" I pleaded.

The both looked back at me and said;

"No, it's what YOU want" and they just started laughing.

I woke myself up out of the dream here. I laid in bed and my heart was racing. My initial thought was that I had a terrible nightmare. The details all came flooding back to me. I was in bed. I needed to get up, get some water, or try to calmed down, but I didn't. I realized I was aroused.

I let myself fall back asleep. Even in my dream life, he has complete control over me, pulling me back to sleep so he continues his plan for me.

4. Nightmare Bliss

Dear Diary,

Have you ever woken up from a dream that you didn't want to end? This has happened to me many times, and it's the absolute worst. I've learned to be able to let myself drift back to sleep and slip back into the dream. Tragically, most of my dreams in the last few years have been nightmares, so I spend a lot of time trying Not to fall back asleep.

The other morning, waking up from this sex dream, I wasn't entirely sure what I wanted. It was borderline exhilarating, arousing, but also pushed me to the edge of my comfort limits. (See last diary post)

I was also taken back by the appearance of Dan in the dream, my ex, from over seven years ago. What was he doing in the dream? Why was he disguised as Vic's friend?

I was uncomfortable that he got to see me completely exposed. It was such a vulnerable position, and I feel embarrassed having anyone see me like that, especially him. It didn't matter to me that it wasn't real and only a dream, even Dream Dan didn't deserve to gaze upon me naked. (Naked and bound with my legs spread wide open in the back seat of a truck in this case)

The dream also seemed to hone in on my fear that Vic would exercise a power over me and force me way beyond my comfort zone. This certainly was happening before I woke up.

Despite this, I was aroused. I was a little ashamed in myself for being so aroused after being treated so cheaply in the dream.