I love my boyfriend. Meeting Max was one of the best things that has ever happened to me.
After a messy, painful divorce from a controlling husband, Max came into my life like a gift from above. Being in my mid-40s and divorced, I was feeling jaded and alone. I wondered if I would ever find love again. But I did. And I am forever grateful that the universe brought us together.
I met him online -- and was immediately drawn to his genuine, boyish smile and thoughtful demeanor. His slim, fit body and shorter stature made him absolutely adorable to me. It would usually take me at least six or seven dates to sleep with someone, but somehow Max managed to get me into bed on our fourth date. I'm not a prude, but am by no means a one night stand kind of gal.
Having sex with Max was healing. Sex in my marriage was awful -- often painful and humiliating. But in Max, I found a wonderful lover -- patient, fun, and sexy. The first year of our relationship was non-stop sex and more orgasms than I could ever want. It made me more confident about myself and my body. I used to lament that my breasts weren't as pert as they used to be, or that my ass wasn't as tight. But when we made love, Max worshipped every part of my body, making me feel whole and loved. After sex, he would always whisper into my ear "I Love You Diane" and it would send shivers down my spine.
I realized that despite my ex-husband's criticisms, I do, in fact, have a good body. I'm tall and relatively slim. My chest fills out a bathing suit nicely and my ass can still turn heads.
Max and I moved in together after a year of dating. It was an adjustment. As anyone whose been married knows, dating and living together are two very different things. We had the usual fights about household chores and bathroom time, but we slowly figured it out. Our respective schedules however became a sticking point.
Max is an actor and often out of town -- usually six months out of the year. I love watching him perform -- it's a turn on. I always make the time to visit him wherever he may be, but my own work is very demanding, and I obviously cannot be with him for that long. It's a great deal of time apart.
It didn't seem to bother Max, but it bothered me, and it bothered me that it didn't bother him. Max loves his work -- he's passionate about it. It's one of the things I love about him. I like my work well enough, but it's demanding. I work in a fast-moving corporate environment that requires 12-hour days and some of my own travel as well. Even when we're both in town, I don't have enough time with Max.
We've been together for five years now, and this is still a sticking point in our relationship. We don't have a solution but have stayed together. Unfortunately, this situation has taken a toll on our sex life. Last year, we went nearly six months without sex.
I don't know if it's simply the nature of long-term relationships, but even when we do have sex, it's uninspired. We seem to have completely lost our sexual spark. I hate to admit it, but it had been well over a year since I'd had an orgasm with Max.
Not that I'm having orgasms with anyone else. A therapist once suggested I consider polyamory, but that's not something I could ever imagine doing. I was raised Catholic. I believe in Monogamy. My parents were together for over 40 years, and almost every day my father brought home a flower for my mother. I know it's overly romantic and perhaps unrealistic, but it's a beautiful ideal. It's the kind of relationship I've always wanted.
My actual relationship, however, was in for more challenges. The new year brought more out of town work for Max. He left for Minneapolis in January, leaving me in New York by myself for 2 months. I planned on visiting him later and seeing his show sometime in February, but until then, it was just me and my job.
Work was stressful -- corporate environments can sap the life out of you. Thankfully, I have a couple of life saving co-workers who have become good friends. Kelli, a beautiful Chinese woman and Jean-Claude, a lovely, very tall Frenchman, and I have worked together for over 5 years. They are both exceptionally intelligent software developers and have saved my butt countless times. I am a bit of a tech nerd and am really turned on by technical brilliance.
