Derek & Mrs. Billings 01
"You look awfully engulfed in your computer screen, Mrs. Billings, so what's so interesting then?"
"Oh, Derek, you startled me, um, well it's not like I've been searching for how make someone disappear without growing up in New Jersey or anything, so."
"I mean, Mrs. Billings, are you that upset that Lydia just might become your daughter-in-law again, but from your other son, Billy?"
"Well, I mean, it's weird, right Derek? There are a lot of women on the planet, so why is Lydia coming back around for another, well, round with the Billings boys then, hmm? I mean, what the hell kind of holiday parties will they be then, huh?"
"I mean, sure, Mrs. Billings, it's not the normal, but it can't be any weirder than how you're sitting at the kitchen table looking at weird websites in just your pantyhose, undies and bra, so?"
"What? [looks down] Oh, snap! Ah, shoot! Oh, boy. Well, you've seen plenty in my swim suit, so."
Ahh, women walking away from you while swaying their hips in pantyhose, ahh. Also, ahh.
"You don't need to change on my account, Mrs. Billings, so (stop)!"
"Stop with that, Derek, I'll just throw a housecoat on and be back in a jiff, so."
Ahh, that time you tried to make a move on a half-dressed woman and it doesn't work, ahh, LOL, story of my life! But at least this time the woman was actually just half dressed in real life, so, ahh.
"Alright then, Dereck, what was it that you wanted from me today anyways, hmm?"
Ahh, a woman in housecoat that wasn't tied closed very well, who asks me what I wanted, ahh.
"Well, you didn't hear this from me, Mrs. Billings, but if your son Billy just so happens to drive by the No Roof Motel tonight at 7:45pm sharp and glances up towards the 2nd floor walkway, I mean, he just might spy something that might just make him change his mind about making Lydia the slut your daughter-in-law again, so? Not that I'm advocating that you become involved with the tattling of the tale or anything like that, Mrs. Billings."
"Oh, well then, Derek, that does sound like an opportunity that I shouldn't miss, but then I would become one of those "meddling moms" and that doesn't quite suit me, so, throw something else out there then."
"I mean, the only other thing I can think of, without saying anything to Billy directly, is to, you know, capture things on video, so."
"Keep talking, Derek. Also, stop staring, Derek."
Ahh, a woman who scolds you for peeking, yet doesn't exactly close her housecoat, ahh.
"Alright, imagine this then, Mrs. Billings. Well, it's nothing secret spy or anything, but what if a spy couple were to hang out in room 213 at the No Roof motel and you know, aim our camera phones in the right direction at just the right time, hmm?"
"Oh, huh, room 213 then, Derek? And what non secret spy outfit would I wear for this caper then, Derek? Especially since it looks like we would have to leave like in three minutes then, hmm?"
"I mean, throw on a walking coat and a pair of heels and everyone will think that you're wearing a min under your walking coat. An you know, the heels will help sell that concept, so get with it, lock the front door and hop into my waiting SUV then, um, that sounds like a plan, right Mrs. Billings?"
"Oh boy, Derek, are you trying to be sexy with me then?"
"Well, is anyone else being sexy with you, Mrs. Billings? Or making it so you can catch your cheating and still cheating ex daughter-in-law, who is this close to becoming your daughter-in-law again, huh? Especially since this is a kill two birds with one stone situation since I know that Lydia has been hooking up with your nephew, Hank, so?"
"What? Seriously? What a "all in the family" slut, that Lydia is!!"
Ahh, that time when a pissed off and half-dressed woman jumps up and gets ready to lock the front door, ahh.
"I just need to, change, Derek, change, I can't go outside dressed like this, so."
"I mean, we're going to miss it all and it took me forever to arrange this set up, so heels and a walking coat will do, Mrs. Billings."
Ahh, that time a plan actually worked!
"OMG, men and their spy fetishes!"
Ahh, that time when the real flesh and blood woman allowed the plan to work, ahh.
"Oh, slow it down, Derek, this is no time to get pulled over for speeding! Or gawking, so eyes front, young man!"
Ahh, when a play comes together, ahh.
"Oh boy, here we are, Derek, alone is a seedy motel room, peeking out through the curtains to catch some slut activity and LOL, I'm dressed worse than Lydia the slut, oh boy."
"Hush, here comes Lydia up the stairs! Also, are you sure your walking coat isn't uncomfortable then, Mrs. Billings?"
Ooh, that time when your MILF Girlfriend let her housecoat slip from her shoulders, ahh.
Oops, that time when you almost forgot to hit record, oops.
"Everything else stays on me, Derek, not that there is much left covering me. Anyways, oh boy, it just occurred to me that I might see something about my nephew that I shouldn't see, so you got the video duties, right Derek?"
Oh, oh, that time when your sleazy motel room partner needed you, oh, oh.
"Oh boy, I can't believe that I'm saying this, but I'm a mature woman, so verbal descriptions might be alright then, but smooth things out for me, Derek."
Oh boy, that time when your MILF Girlfriend slid down your leg to keep out of sight, but wants to listen, oh boy.
"Oh boy, I can clearly see what you're thinking from down here, Derek and I'm not saying that I'm not a little worked up too from being in a shady motel room barely half dressed, but thrust me, I mean, trust me, I was never ever going to be voted the blow job queen, so."
"Hush, Mrs. Billings, Lydia is just strutting past our door, but you sure do seem comfortable in that squatting position, so, let's oh boy talk about that later, oh, hush."
Oh boy, squatting can also be considered butterfly wings flapping then too, oh boy. Also, butterflies would good in sheer pantyhose, so, oh boy.
"Oh boy, Derek, it has been a long time since I've been this close to a man. Has she passed our room yet? Also, Derek, are you going to, oh boy, try to fuck me tonight while we're hiding out and spying from this sleaze bag motel room, hmm?"
"Hush, Mrs. Billings, they are whoa, greeting each at their motel room door and holy snap, that's some way to say hello then. And what if I were thinking about seducing you tonight, Mrs. Billings?"
"Oh boy, is all I can say right now, Derek, so, oh boy."
Ahh, that time when your MILF Girlfriend didn't say "yes" nor did she say "no" while you were holed up in sleazy hotel room, ahh, promising.
"Also, I'm not flapping my legs like a butterfly as a sign of yes, but you sure seem to like me this way, I mean, oh boy, I picked a bad time to not even making the court jester of blow jobs, LOL. Anyways, oh, oh boy, what's going on up there then, Derek? You went quiet on me, so?"
"Oh, I mean, I'm still recording and they are still, wow, greeting each other, but I'm in a bit of a "oh boy" state myself and by that, I mean, oh boy, are you sure that your bra, undies and pantyhose have to stay on then, Mrs. Billings?"
"Oh boy, I'm going into a "oh my" state myself, Derek, but we're on a mission to catch that slut red handed, so, whew, keep recording [lean in and nibble]."
Ooh, ooh, ooh, fisherman live for nibbles, ooh, ooh, ooh.
"Alright, Mrs. Billings, they are inside of their motel room, so you can get up now, but slowly would be better, so?"
