My first full day in South Africa headed toward its end and aware I had felt very lonely exploring the town, its shops and wandering along the beach, I questioned the wisdom of three weeks seven thousand miles from London. Shops closed and too early for dinner at my hotel, I killed time in 'Deja's' -- its owner's abbreviation of 'DΓ©jΓ vu' -- an apt name for a bar unintentionally stuck in the early nineteen fifties in England except for twin high-mounted plasma screens at the L-shaped bar's vertical stroke ends. Respectively tuned to cricket and rugby, they and several gambling machines at the far end of the bar's vertical pandered to the mostly male Afrikaans patrons' loves of sport and gambling as they gossiped in a mixture of Afrikaans and English and indulged their other evident passion, downing copious amounts of lager.
Sitting sideways on my stool at the end of the bar's horizontal gave perfect views of the rest of the bar, street below and a lone figure sitting at the corner table on my left drowning sorrows in her fourth short within half hour. Ordered from the Afrikaans sports fan section, I had been unable to hear her accent and assumed she was a local Afrikaans or from Johannesburg staying at her holiday home, more likely parents' judged by her youth. Short jet-black hair, ebony eyes, beautiful round featured face, stunning figure -- obvious charms aided by skimpy shorts and a tight, backless, halter neck top revealing her light gold tan leaving little to imagination -- made it impossible not to notice her and heavy drinking and evident sadness ensured I did. She strutted over to order her next drink in hearing distance at the far end of my part of the bar, I muttered, "English," under my breath, waited for her to settle at her table and casually wandered over to it.
"Excuse me," I began. "I'd have come to say it anyway but heard your English accent when you ordered that drink, your fifth in rapid succession, and it makes it easier. I don't know how well you know this country or want to scare you but it has a very high crime rate, first full day here and I've heard a long list of serious crimes in this small seaside town. I've only seen Xhosa in the taxis, no Afrikaans, they're all minibuses based up a side street by an off-licence and there was a crowd of drunks sitting around when I walked past less than an hour ago. It's risky for a girl to wander UK streets alone at night, far more so if she's drunk and fifty times more so here. You can't hail a cab UK-style and I hope you don't intend walking to your hotel. Do you have a safe means of getting there or is someone collecting you?"
Ebony eyes fixed on my face, widened briefly, narrowed as a lone feathery eyebrow flickered upward and made a swift return journey from my face to my feet. Slightly curled lips betrayed amusement in her otherwise blank expression. "Most original chat-up line I've ever heard, tells me I'm drunk and puts on a guardian angel act, feigned interest in my safety not body."
"Not an act or feigned," I growled. "I said I'd have come to say it anyway but you're English, alone, beautiful, scantily clad, getting plastered and I'm concerned. Most guys in here are tanked up, they've all noticed you, you've put down a few, one may try it on when you leave and there are all the risks outside. I'm a cop in the Met, know what happens in London and that far worse happens here."
"Ooh, want to wrap the long arm of the law round my bod in a wholly unofficial capacity," she teased straight-faced. "Thanks for your compliment," She flashed a smile and promptly growled, "Prove you're a cop."
I reached for my wallet and flashed my warrant card.
"Detective Chief Inspector Gregory Harrison is a high-flyer to be that rank at his age." She winked impishly. "Lousy cop at surveillance, glances weren't subtle, ogled my bod more than my drinking, haven't proved fancying me wasn't a major part of your equation in coming to my table. I'm Lisa, Lisa Adams, or do you want me to prove it, Gregory or Greg?"
"No," I confirmed. "It's 'Greg' and how will you get to where you're staying?"
"Hadn't thought about it, don't need to now, my guardian angel, DCI Greg Harrison, will be very happy to escort me on the long walk to the Bay Hotel." She flashed a smile. "Get your drink and come and sit down."
"Thanks. I'm at the Bay too, three weeks, only other five-star on offer in the UK was twice the price but it's the same here, checked this morning." I collected my drink and settled into the chair opposite her on my return.
"How much did fancying me weigh in playing guardian angel and how pleased are you that the same hotel means you can indulge your fancy if I let you?" Lisa asked. "Honest answers."
"Are you always so direct, Lisa?" I grunted disapprovingly. "I said twice I'd have come over anyway. You're beautiful, stunning, and I fancy your looks, what man wouldn't? We've just met, I don't know if I fancy your direct and feisty personality but I'd like to discover the less full on version if there is one and find out if I do."
Lisa flashed a smile. "Thanks for your compliments and honesty. Always direct, believe you were concerned, good guy not just that you're a cop, knew you fancy me, wanted to know its part in your equation."
"Thanks. You're not an inveterate boozer; dare I ask why you're hitting the bottle?"
Lisa shrugged her shoulders and sighed. "Lost my virginity to my boyfriend at sixteen, lived at eighteen, past five years, first his then mine, booked and paid for this holiday six months ago, he moved out and in with a blonde tart he'd obviously fucked for months five weeks ago. I had the tickets, decided to come alone, first night, felt sorry for myself, saw this bar and decided to get pissed but it's not easy; I can hold my drink." She looked me up and down and frowned thoughtfully. "No wife or girlfriend, I'm amazed the handsome sexy hunk hasn't been snapped up."
"I'm sorry about your boyfriend," I whispered sympathetically. "Same boat sort-of, all work and no play led to Jenny divorcing me last year, no holiday for ages, decided to come and see how things have changed since apartheid ended and Mandela came to power, enjoy the climate, see the wildlife and so on. Well, no big five this side of the mountains or hundreds of kilometres beyond, preferred a coastal town to being stuck in a reserve. Fourteen rand to the pound helped."
"I'm sorry," Lisa said apologetically. "Hope you learnt your lesson, neglected wives play away or realise they're effectively single and may as well be in reality." She winked impishly. "Two lonely souls far from home who fancy each other, out of practice divorced good guy doesn't know how to deal with the girl now he's met her, especially now he knows staying at the same hotel means avoidance will be difficult and he can't just say 'Bye' and beat a retreat."
"Sums it up, I guess," I muttered absent-mindedly.
Lisa's ebony eyes fixed on me and she opened fire, a Kalashnikov at full burst. "Twenty-three, five foot eight, metre seventy-three, corporate law solicitor, own my flat in Islington, direct, honest, loyal, not a bitch, say what I feel, get it off my chest, well, braless 36Cs that grip your attention, only had sex with my ex, uninhibited, oversexed horny bitch, no pubes, all over fake tan, pussy is the only pink skin." She paused briefly to suck air. "Same hotel, I'm here for three weeks, you leave the day before me, so two options. First, dating but good guy won't make a move on me until he's sure it won't be rebuffed or is so desperate he takes the risk, so I'll have to take the lead. As to that and assuming we don't fall out, after first base, French kisses, no second, touching up my boobs, or third, fingering or eating my pussy with or without me giving you a hand or blowjob, straight to a homerun, get naked and make love, no holds barred; second and third tease, want them, reality is wanting a homerun. Second, room share, straight to a homerun, really get to know each other by being lovers, keep the spare room tonight and tomorrow and if we're still lovers the next morning, vacate it and try to get a refund. We can survive in a room as ex-lovers or be an item when we get back to the UK if we remain lovers."
"Definitely very direct," I grunted. "All rattled off at Mach One, I didn't expect the stats, pube or pussy info and certainly didn't a room-share proposal."
Lisa scowled and narrowed her eyes. "Despite reservations about my personality, you have major hots. It's mutual, I didn't intend a relationship and don't want a vague platonic or sexual one that'll fizzle out when we hit UK soil. We'll make or break fast in a room share, make it to departure day, I live in London, you're in the Met so you do too, live together there and see where it leads." She paused and hinted a smirk. "I'm being practical, cutting out all the crap, never made such an offer before, only open for acceptance for the next thirty seconds, so chicken and pussyfoot or cock and pussy freely available in a room share?"
"Practical," I conceded. "Just very surprised you made the room share offer, which I accept. I'm twenty-six, six foot, metre eighty-three, ex and I lost our virginity to each other, not had sex with anyone else, own my flat in Putney, eight and a half inches, twenty-two centimetres, circumcised."
Lisa burst into giggles. "Wow! Inched out of your shell to accept and more to be direct, took a leaf out my book, didn't expect the cock info and I'll know if you were boasting soon enough but doubt it -- definitely not a midget stirring when you came over to my table. Islington to Putney is only a tube ride, easy to live at yours or mine if we're lovers on departure day, makes sorting us out here far more important." She stood up. "Okay, time to walk me back to my room and hit a homerun."