My eyes opened and I grabbed my glasses and looked at the clock, it read "3:45." "Fuck" I said to no one. After I looked at the time. I got up and staggered to the bathroom and performed my morning routine. I slipped on a pair of sweat pants, shirt and shoes and left my house and walked my neighborhood. I did my final turn and walked up to my back door hit the code that unlocked the door, and walked in. I was lucky my current employment status allowed me the daily half hour walk.
With today's technology I did not need to make the half-hour trip to the office. My commute was a thirty-second walk from my dining room to an empty bedroom that I turned into my office. I write the advice column in the local weekly alternative paper. I inhabit the personality of "Dear Debra" My questions range from what wine goes with what food, who should take the lead if a date goes beyond dinner, to should I have oral sex on a first date.
I started about five years ago filling in for the real Debra and when she left I stayed. I have an editor that culls the questions and sends them to me and I select the three to four questions to handle for the column that needed to be back to the office by Tuesday morning.
I turned on my computer and scanned my email and found the one from my editor. There was a long attachment to her email. I opened the attached document.
"Dear Debra,
I have a great relationship with my boy friend we enjoy each other and have really great sex. The one sore point is oral sex. In past relationships with other men; I have had oral sex. "Darrel (not his real name) is really squeamish about me going down on him. I enjoy going down on men's cocks. How can I relax Darrel so I can get some oral fun?
Maybe selfish Patty"
Ok I will work on this one. I dismissed the second and liked the third.
"Dear Debra,
What wine is appropriate for a large banquet? I am hosting a fifteen-person party and was wondering if I should purchase a Bordeaux, or something from California. My guests are not wine snobs and really would not know the difference. The evening will start off with cocktails and then dinner and desert.
Which Wine"
A pair of arms moved around my shoulders and my girlfriend's head moved to kiss me on the cheek. ""Oh God Dear Debra, why do you write that stuff?" said Carol Farmer; my lover for the last three years. Neither one of us was young, but we seemed to get along.
"I write this to put food on the table," I responded.
"You should have gotten me up I would have walked with you," she said.
"I didn't want to bother you. What is on your schedule my dear?" I asked.
"I am showing a house at 11:00 and closing a deal at 3:00 and if it goes through I am taking you out to dinner," said Carol.
We both work out of the home office and Carol's desk is across the room from mine. Our sleeping arrangements were interesting. Most of the time Carol sleeps with me but at times she uses the third bedroom where her wardrobe is stored. Selling Real Estate requires her to be well dressed. She is always on me to improve my wardrobe.
I met Carol when she sold me the house that we occupy. I had just gone through a divorce and was looking for a house either to buy or rent. I met Carol at the coffee shop near the place I was living temporally. We struck up a conversation and she said that she knew of a home that was on the market, that she thought I could afford.
She showed me the house and after two bottles of wine I made an offer. I was surprised that it was accepted. I was able to make the down payment from the proceeds of my old house that was sold to satisfy the divorce order. For the first few months I was able to make the note, but the ownership of the paper cut the fee for Dear Debra and it became harder.
I called Carol to put the house back on the market but she had another suggestion. It seemed that that she walked into her house and found her husband in bed with another woman. She was looking for a place to live and offered to help out with the mortgage. So we have had this interesting living arrangement for about three years. At first she lived in her bedroom and I lived in mine. We split expenses. For a while we carried on separate social lives. She even brought a gentleman home. One morning I was getting up and found Carol in bed with me. From that point on she sleeps with me most nights. We gradually got closer and after a while we were a couple.
I needed to get back to work the deadline was fast approaching. The fifth question and sixth questions looked good
"Dear Debra,
When I go out to eat with "Steve" his eyes are constantly moving all over the room. He rarely looks at me. Everything else in our relationship seems to work. Should I worry?
Nervous Nelly"
Dear Debra,
What can I do to control my boyfriend's gaseous emissions when we are making love?
Bill needing a gas mask
I started to craft the answers.
Maybe Selfish,
Many people have different views on oral sex. If "Darrel" was raised in a household where sex in any form was frowned upon; he may have left over feelings of being sinful if he participates oral sex. It may take some time to get him over his apprehension. It is difficult to have frank discussions about this with your partner. But both parties need to be agreeable to oral stimulation. It is good that you want to perform on him, which may make it easier. It will take time. Check online bookstores for Fellatio and get a manual. It might give you suggestions for topics of conversation. Remember work slowly or you might drive him away.
Which
You have to decide if you want to impress your guests or save money. Either wine will work and there are several wines from California that are every bit as good as Bordeaux. Since you didn't give me your menu I can't give you any suggestions on the wines you should think about. Consult the wine column written by my friend Steve Williams. That might give you an idea of what wines will go with your menu.
What people don't know is Steve Williams is the same person as Dear Debra. I write the wine column under the name Steve Williams.
Nelly
Is it possible that Steve has a touch of autism and is uncomfortable making eye contact with you? He may also be nervous in crowed areas. You might ask him why his eyes dart around the restaurant. If you come home and find another woman with him then you need to worry.
Bill
Monitor your partner's food intake and limit those foods that promote the production of gas. There are over-the-counter medications that absorb the gas you can check out. Many people have very active bacteria in their guts that contribute to being flatulent.
I formatted the document and logged into the paper's content management system and uploaded the document. I would revise my answers up to the deadline. But the paper had a column.
Carol was in the bathroom showering and I decided to join her. I slipped into the bathroom that was part of the shared bedroom. Dropped my sweatpants and shirt and climbed in to the walk in shower with Carol. My cock was standing at attention and I grabbed her nipples. Carol turned around and kissed me.
"Sorry darling but I have a headache," said Carol.
"Like hell you do," I said as I planted a kiss on her lips, I tried to get more active but Carol held fast and I backed down.
I toweled off and put my sweats back on. I went to the kitchen and started cracking eggs for breakfast. Carol came out and sat at the island as I placed a plate of scrambled eggs in front of her position.
