She felt numb as she twisted the lock on the doorknob before closing the front door of her apartment on the crappy side of town. It had taken every ounce of energy she could muster to pull herself out of bed and makeup her face enough to feel comfortable going out. But she had to. The alternative was to spend another day moving from the bed she slept in in her son's room to the smaller of the two couches she still owed money on in the living room, keeping her thoughts tied up in whatever she could find to distract herself on her phone. As Bellona continued to her clunker, she thought about how different her life had been just a couple of months ago. Some semblance of a family had occupied her two bedroom apartment. It was separated now and she knew it was for the better. She couldn't let four year old Liam grow up thinking it was okay to manipulate and control the women in his life in whatever self-serving, conniving way best served his immediate needs. She'd leave that up to his dad. She was a good woman. For years she had tried to make it work with his dad but she would never, could never live up to his ridiculous expectations. She had come out of her naiveite two years ago and into the realization that she'd have to be the parent who taught her son about respect and love. She had spent the last couple of years treasuring the time she spent with her son because she knew eventually that time would be divided, shared between her and her ex-husband. Today was the beginning of the stretch of five days he would spend with his dad. She sighed as she started her old buick. She kept telling herself (and Liam) they'd get used to the new schedule eventually. There was just such a disparity between the days she woke up alive and happy when he was with her and the days she had to talk herself out of bed when he wasn't. She had talked to her therapist this week and they had come up with a plan to get her out of the house on those sad days so the depression wouldn't take hold.
She drove south, toward the coast. In years past she had gravitated towards the beach when life dealt her lemons. The ocean air, although tinged with sadness, always made her feel introspective and peaceful. This was the first time in a while that she had enough gas in her tank to make the forty mile trip. Admittedly, there was more than her typical reason for heading that direction this time in the form of a guy she had been texting for the last year or so. They had had met up for one chaste encounter last fall but she hadn't seen him since. They had made plenty of plans since then but they just never panned out. She trusted God's timing and knew there were reasons for the various obstacles that kept them apart. Even so, sometimes, like today, it added to her loneliness. She had stared at his picture over and over again willing him to kiss her through her phone but his stubborn image flatly refused. Today, at least for the drive, she could hold out hope of running in to him. He lived five minutes from the stretch of sand and ocean she was heading to and he had the day off from his job at the horse ranch he resided on. The hope was enough to have her singing to the country music blaring from her chest where she had stuck her phone, speaker side out, in the side of her bra.
Her optimism waned as she pulled into the sandy parking lot. How many times had she walked the same pier when she was feeling down, hoping to run into whomever she was stuck on at the time? Countless. And she'd never had any luck. She swung her sandaled feet out of her car anyway and headed toward the pay station. Might as well, she was already there. And what else would she do anyway? Couch sitting and feeling sorry for herself was getting old. She walked back and put the paid ticket in her window and headed towards the same old, fruitless pier. She slowly ambled until she was about a quarter of the way out and plopped her behind down on a concrete bench facing towards the shoreline. She gazed at the seagulls and busied herself trying to decipher the etchings of lover's initials carved into the white wooden railing. The air was cool and refreshing and she felt the coldness of the bench through the thin fabric of her dress. She reclined back and tried to look pensive enough to keep people from talking to her, wanting to be alone in her melancholy. In the background of her thoughts she heard a masculine voice bidding goodbye, presumably to a group of friends. She wouldn't have even noticed the adieu, except for that a second later he sat down next to her. Anywhere on the same bench as her would have been too close for her comfort, so she was both alarmed and annoyed. Only for a millisecond though, because she recognized the sturdy male counterpart sitting beside her. It was him, the one she had hoped to run into. Shock and giddiness ran through her as she realized that for the first time, her pier plan had actually come to be. Then she was immediately nervous. She hadn't thought about how she would actually feel when she met up with him again. Since that first innocent meeting months ago her mind had imagined a happily ever after future, and oh so many raunchy scenarios to accompany that future.
"Hey you," he greeted her through smirking lips. The familiar greeting sounded so much sexier when he said it aloud, his voice husky and virile.
Bellona laughed. "You're here!"
Von replied, "You're here!" His smile spread across his face as he added, "Finally!" and then, "Do you want to go for a walk?" standing as he gestured towards then end of the pier.
