--= 11 =--
I just looked at Danny, completely dumbfounded. I didn't know what to say, at least, I didn't know where to begin. How did he know? Am I that bad of a liar? Did Kevin tell him? No, he had no chance to. Unless, he texted him on his phone?
I played the stupid card: "I uhm, don't know what you're talking about?"
"Soph, I was there." I felt like I was going to hurl at this point.
"Th-there?"
"Yeah. I had to take a piss 'n I heard noises outside the door. Here I was thinkin': 'Wow, what mother fucker got lucky t'nite?' I walk in and see your shoes under the stall."
My face was burning. I was so humiliated. He may as well have walked into my bedroom when Kevin was there. Ugh, I don't know what's worse: being caught in a bathroom stall, or my "baby sister" image trashed in front of Danny's very eyes.
"Look Soph. You're an adult, you can do whatever you want. It's just that you're my sister. I know that I haven't been in your life much to really have the proper "big brother" title, but I'm still protective of you. I care about who sees you, and in what light."
I felt tears swell in my eyes. One dropped and I went to wipe it off. The stern look on Dan's face washed away into concern.
"Aw, I didn't mean to make you cry." He leaned in to give me a bear hug.
"No, it's not that," I muffled in his chest. He let go and I gave a soft chuckle. "As fucked up as this sounds, this is our bonding moment. You catchin' baby sis doin' the dirty in a bathroom."
We just looked at each other and burst out laughing. I could see where Danny's concerns lie, and I knew I had to clear things up. The scary thing was, I knew how I felt, but I didn't know how Kevin felt. Granted he tells me I'm his, but he could just be hopped up on hormones or something.
"Danny, I'm really sorry you had to see that. Believe me, I had no intentions of having you catch me in such a compromising position. I just don't want you to think that I'm being young and stupid. I know how I feel about Kevin. I didn't mean to fall for him so hard, but in the end I did."
"I see."
"And I know he just broke up with his girlfriend and all, I just-" I looked up at Danny and gave a shy smile. "I really like Kevin. Really really like him. He's on my mind all the time, and I care about him a lot." I paused. "But who knows; I could be a rebound. God, maybe I am young and dumb and full of..."
"Let's not finish that sentence," he laughed nervously, "I know Kevin. We've been friends since middle school. He isn't the type to just fuck around. Figuratively and... literally."
It felt good to hear that. But I knew that hearing it from Danny wasn't enough. I didn't want to pressure Kevin into expressing his feelings, or force him to say things he doesn't mean. It's just that I have a really bad habit of feeling emotions hard. I guess the best thing I can do at this point is to give each other space, slow us down a bit. See if there's more than just really hot, heavy, and mmm... gratifying sex.
--= 12 =--
The morning started off like any other. Danny and I decided to keep this between us. Jen was already gone and Dan was just about there. I just sat on the couch knowing that my day would be filled with nothing but loneliness. I pretended to watch TV, but really I was stuck on yesterday's events.
Was I feeling guilty? Should I? After confessing my feelings for Kevin to Dan, I started to think more on it. All night I just laid in bed staring at the ceiling feeling conflicted. On one hand, I knew there was no way I could stop seeing Kevin. Even if I couldn't physically see him, I will always think about him. And on the other hand, all we've done is fuck. So how is it possible that I care about him so damn much?
God, I hate being a girl sometimes. Always gotta over think things.
"Hey Soph, burgers ok for tonight?"
"Burgers are perfect."
"Kay well, see you later." And then he was gone.
I let out a heavy sigh. Sometimes I hated being alone. Being alone meant you were left with your thoughts. Normally I'd let my mind venture through all the things in my head, but for once I let my mind go blank. The TV played off in the background as I slowly dozed off.
-=-
It was a dreamless sleep, all it took was a light rap at the door to wake me up. I rubbed my eyes, then moseyed my way to the door. I opened it slowly, peeking my head around. I looked up and smiled weakly.
"Hey," he said, barely a whisper.
"Hey." There was something different about Kevin's presence. It was like our moods had synced and we were feeling the same way. "Come in?"
"Thank you." He stepped in, moving so I could shut the door, then we just stood there, awkwardly.
"So, uhm, I got a call from Dan."
I pursed my lips, "Did you now? I think I can guess how that conversation went."
"Oh yeah? Lemme hear it," he chuckled.
I cleared my throat and did my best to imitate Danny, "So, you're bangin' my sis'. Well lemme tell you, you hurt her and I'll be the last one to fuck you up. Understand?" I tried so hard not to laugh.
Kevin didn't: "Hahaha! Close, close! There may have been more swearing, but you pretty much nailed it."