Greetings, thank you for choosing to read my story. I had a lot of fun writing it.
Because I'm new to this I'll warn you that things might not read right, and I thank you for your patience and understanding.
Warning: excessive humour
Warning: wish fulfillment
Warning: questionable pacing
Warning: too much story
Warning: not enough fucking
Warning: like like like, too many likes
Warning: no editing
Warning: 'hacky' plot points
Warning: not enough detailed descriptions
Warning: no eye colours!
Again, thank you.
------------------------------
Dan's Hammer
------------------------------
Frustrating. Every time I stuck it in, I was rejected. Over and over: nope, nope, nope, nope! Sorry, you just don't measure up; try again!
"Bah!" I gave the hotel door a quick kick. Why did they have to transition from actual room keys to those cards that demagnetize whenever you breathe on them wrong? What I wouldn't give for a sledgehammer right now. It would be so satisfying to throw that weight around, break through the door. All I wanted was to sleep, reset the day, forget it all.
Who am I kidding? I'm too weak to handle a sledgehammer. Figures.
***
It was already 10pm but for whatever reason a bus tour had deposited a mass of people to clog up hotel reception, so I headed instead to the bar to wait it out. There was no sense in me adding to my frustration pushing through a crowd; I figured a slow drink might help to mellow out.
In my opinion, The White Parrot is a bad name for a bar. Truthfully there is no value in a bar name anyway. A bar's true value is maximized as long as it's dark, slightly fuzzy in the corners, and there's at least one other person there when I arrive. I don't ever want to be the sad guy alone in the bar. Fortunately I noticed another soul at the far corner when I arrived, a dark shadow hiding in one of the booths.
I got an orange and vodka from the bartender, sat down at one of the many spare tables, pulled out my phone and began a hopefully productive session of doom-scrolling, content to be the
other
sad guy alone in the bar.
From my seat I could still see the lobby, still hear the tourists. It sounded like they had come from some event, maybe a concert? No, they were dressed conservatively, maybe a play. But they were quite loud, I guess they must have had a great time. Good for them, at least someone had a positive day today. I was jealous.
"Is this seat taken?" From out of nowhere, this striking brunette stood at my table. Where did she come from? Was she borrowing a seat for a group that I had missed? I craned my neck looking around for them, and she just smiled at me. No, there wasn't anyone else around, besides the dark shadow that was now sleeping in his booth.
"No, uh, please, go ahead." I was stunned, I don't ever get approached like this by anyone, let alone someone who appeared so confident and put together.
"My name's Damienne." She sat down beside me and offered her hand, like we were in a business mixer. She looked like she was poured into the charcoal business suit she wore, cut tight in the right places. Fuck business casual, this was Business Sexy.
"Dan. Nice to meet you." I shook her hand, and got a shock.
She laughed, and in an instant I felt calm around her. "Sorry about that, must be the carpet here." Her laugh was warm, gentle. Her eyes smiled at me. I liked that look, a lot. "Dan, I'm here to forget about things for a while, why don't you tell me a story?"
Damienne leaned over to hear me. Her white blouse parted and I caught sight of a lace bra straining under intense pressure. "You looked a bit miffed when you came in. Problem?" And she touched my knee.
No, she grabbed my knee. Not hard, just reassuring, beckoning. I felt a flush on the back of my neck. For a second there the blood rushed into my head, and I fell forward towards the table.
And then
Bing!
I was back, sitting straight up, and the words just flowed out of me like a river. A river of shame and frustration.
"I am a senior at a national accounting firm. I am visiting a regional office, helping on a local audit. My junior is from here, and she's been great this week. All of her work is quite good, but what's more is she's funny, attractive. We actually get along very well, to the point where I think she's flirting with me."
What is going on?
I couldn't stop talking, my pace speeding up. "No, she definitely is flirting with me. She asked me to dinner tonight, it's the end of the week, we should celebrate. I'm excited, we go to a place she knows, it's nice and dark. It has a dance floor too."