I must admit that although I have often been accused of being forgetful and absent-minded, I have never had any of my significant others complain about the sex. My ex-wife has grudgingly and through gritted teeth, admitted that though there isn't much she misses about our marriage, she indeed misses the sex. It's not that I am a particularly well-endowed or skillful lover; it is that I am patient, enthusiastic and approach sex with the single-mindedness of an addict.
And that was what drew me to Janet. Janet and I dated for a few years after I graduated university and it was one of those hot and passionate love affairs that you look fondly back on, especially when looking over the bed at the unresponsive figure of your wife who has just regarded you with a look usually reserved for winos and lepers.
A few years ago, I ran into Janet at the mall who excitedly told me about her upcoming marriage to this dreamboat of a guy. What with my own marriage turning into a special cycle of hell, I nodded politely but utterly and completely was unable to share her enthusiasm. As conversation continued, she coyly referred to our steamy little history and confided that she had learned a lot about sex from me. I was flattered and a bit taken aback as she had come to the relationship with much more experience than I.
A year later I crossed paths with Janet again, but this was a more jaded and bitter Janet. Her marriage had ended with her husband's infidelity and she was currently holding a grudge against all males. My marriage at this point was kicking its legs into the air one last time and somewhere in a lawyer's cabinet was my wife's divorce papers, ink still damp from the pen. During that meeting Janet and I didn't talk much about anything at all, certainly not our own marriages, certainly not our past relationship and most certainly not about sex.
A few weeks ago, I bumped into fair Janet yet again on a busy street. I convinced her to join me for a coffee and we sat and chatted. She had mellowed a bit as time distanced her from her divorce and she even admitted that she was dating some. I confessed that I too had divorced and was eagerly out on the dating trail. We swapped a few horror stories and laughed quite a bit.
In the course of conversation, I told her where I lived as it was coincidentally just around the corner from her parents' house. She said she knew the house and thought it was in a lovely neighbourhood. We promised each other we would get together again soon, and all the usual meaningless polite things people say when they have no intention of seeing each other, and parted ways.
A few weeks later I got a knock at my door and opened it to find a coy and demure looking Janet on my doorstep. She explained that she had just been to her parents and was driving by when she saw my light on. I invited her in and made her a drink. She looked around my house appreciatively, noting the lack of underwear hanging from lampshades and ceiling fans. I replied that she had come just after laundry day and I assured her that all my intimates would be back on inappropriate objects by no later than noon Wednesday. I also opened my fridge to her inspection and she was pleased to find a lack of furry colonies growing in tubs and on plates. She even nodded appreciatively at my collection of salad dressings and my promise of actually purchasing items that may someday actually end up in a salad.
We sat and chatted idly for a little while and then she put her drink down, leaned forward and looked very deliberately into my eyes. She told me directly that she had come with a very clear purpose in mind and was wondering if I would be at all interested in having sex with her. Now, perhaps I should have hesitated, played it cool so to speak, even let her complete her sentence before answering...but, an offer like that doesn't come along very often and I was no fool.
Janet was a lean woman, with a long curving body that was built especially to make sweat form on men's lips. Her movements could only be described as liquid. I remembered why I had been so heartbroken when we split up. She decided to undress first and I admit that I was in no hurry to discourage her. I took a seat on the couch and sipped my drink. She lifted her blouse off to reveal a pair of round, full breasts encased in a silky black bra. Her taut tummy and curving hips made a bit of sweat break out on my lip.
There is something unbearably exciting about watching a woman take off her pants. When men do it, especially in the heat of passion it is a stumbling affair in which the entire article gets turned inside out and caught around the ankles, dragging behind the feet on the floor like some poor grasping child. When we finally do extricate ourselves from our pants, usually by sitting on the floor, which is where we've ended up after a nasty fall anyway, we tend to look like slightly bruised fools in white socks and drooping underwear. However, when women take off their pants, it is a ballet of the most erotic order. The fabric of the pants seems to melt off the skin, and long luxurious legs are revealed, bending and stretching in the most inviting manner imaginable. The pointed toe is the ultimate expression of subtle sexuality and it is from this that the final deliciously crumpled remnant of clothing is delightfully kicked. By now my top lip was thoroughly soaked and other parts of my body were responding in their own unique ways.
She stood there in front of me, one knee slightly bent, hand gently on absolutely divine hip, toying with the waistband of a truly startling pair of black bikini briefs. Startling not in the way that they were in any manner extraordinary, but startling in the way that they were on such a gorgeous woman in my living room. She placed one of those incredible legs in front of the other and drifted over to me. Bending at the waist she leaned over and touched the tip of her nose to mine. From that vantage point I had a remarkably clear view of her breasts and the shadowy cleavage between. I tried to maintain my composure, but I could not stop myself from blinking and swallowing hard. I honestly think that I made a gulping sound. I was a suave bastard.