"Hey man; I gotta be me and ask you why the fuck you slept with Yoli again?" We sat in the alley behind her building having quite a few moments of shared silence when Renee gave in to an unanswered question swirling around in her pretty head.
"Just kinda happened, honestly."
"So, what; you in the crazy zone with her ass, now?" Renee was insistent but she wasn't fooling me one bit. I knew she was chomping at the bit to lay hands on her former employee.
"Hey, I did what I did, you got something out of it too; you know Jaquan was scheming the minute he laid eyes on her goofy ass. I know she was plotting too, cause she heard me yelling at her ass when she was getting in that cab to go fuck my cousin, your baby daddy. YEAH, I FUCKED THE SHIT OUT OF HER, SO WHAT?!!"
Unexpected emotion exploded out of me before I managed to settle down looking over at Renee.
"I get it; I understand baby." I was shocked she hadn't shoved a pistol up into my nose.
"Sorry."
"Hey man, for somebody who's been running through a few ladies lately; it's just fucking weird to see you hung up. Shit, we've been screwing for a minute too; you almost in the ex-boyfriend rolodex, nigga."
"Ex-boyfriend?" That was a revelation as she facepalmed.
"Don't get it twisted; stop cheesing in my front seat. Alright you can be an honorary wingman, doofus." I admittedly had a silly grin on my face automatically set by the praise from one of the most beautiful women I'd ever seen. Renee was similarly afflicted softly pushing my face toward the passenger window when I glanced in her direction.
"I'll take a leg, instead." I shot back as she leaned over playfully tickling me.
"Maybe we can talk about it later after you help my girl out."
"What?"
"Check it out."
Renee gestured towards her backyard adjacent to her car. Rashida was sitting at the bottom of the steps. Her general form was hidden from view by the unfinished wooden railing and a few planters filled with a variety of colorful flowers. Rashida's thick gams were sticking out signaling her presence.
"I'm not in the mood, Renee." She chuckled slapping the back of my neck.
"Ow, shit girl!" I rubbed the tender spot at the nape of my neck.
"Hey, I gotta carry your shit homie; you gotta carry hers. I don't suppose you recall sending her that hacked scene of her getting smashed?"
"Yeah, so what?"
"My girl has been in the shittiest of moods since you sent her that bootleg; Rashida called up her ex yelling at that nigga and he told her where to go with that noise. I think you need to get in front of this because you already cost me an employee."
"I cost you an employee?!!" I shrugged receiving another slap to the back of my neck.
"Rashida's way off her game; I had to step in on a client because she was zoning out about that stupid ass scene. Now Mrs. Garrison's fried lace front; that's on both of you idiots!!" I found myself trying to imagine the woman with this smoking hairdo with a mushroom cloud emanating from it, comically.
"What am I supposed to do about it?"
"You're good at fixing things nigga; figure it out. Hell, you saved two lives today; what's one more?" I recalled her threats to blast Jaquan and Yoli knowing she spoke truth. Renee leaned forward reaching down between her legs retrieving a paper bag.
"What's this?" I watched Renee open and stare into it for a few seconds before shoving it roughly into my chest.
"T-shirt and some board shorts I originally bought for your trifling cousin. Make sure you hit that shower my nigga; you stank like wet, yellow dog." The dig at Yoli was accompanied by a roll of my eyes.
"What a lady." Renee leaned in using her pointer finger to turn my face in her direction. Our lips pressed together softly for half a second.
"Get out." I was unceremoniously shoved onto the gravel as Renee sped off down the alley.
"Bitch." I gathered up my camera bag and the paper one with Jaquan's now forfeited clothing.
I snickered at the trick realizing she'd used the kiss to distract me from the fact that she'd unlocked my passenger side door. My side was bruised a little as I righted myself into a sitting position as a familiar face appeared one door over from an adjacent yard obscured by a large fenced brush. Mintzy and a day worker walked into the alley as she directed his attention to the fore mentioned foliage. The exasperated gentleman was carrying a chainsaw with an expression that gave me the impression he'd like to use it on the brassy, milf.
"OH, LOOK WHO DONE FOUND HIMSELF OVAH HERE!!" It was too late to duck out of sight as she noticed me along with the hired hand.
"Hey." I waved back meekly noticing her shabby attire which consisted of a baggy looking housecoat and fluffy flip flops. Her hair was unkempt and messy almost melding with her deep olive skin tone.
"NOW WHY AIN'T YOU HAPPY TO SEE ME, HON?!!" It wasn't that I was unhappy to see her as much as her insistence on shouting everything even though we were close enough to converse normally.
"We're cool; I just got shoved out of Renee's car Mintzy." Her cartoonish range of expression cam into play as she closed the distance between us. I barely stifled a flinch as she took both of my hands pressing in murdering any personal space as the day laborer watched.
"You know I been missing you something fierce brotha; I been needing some more uhm, auditions. Ho bisogno di qualcosa in più di questo grosso cazzo! Voglio che tu mi scopa il culo ancora un po 'negro!! Fanculo bene!! You gonna give me some of your precious time, huh brotha?"
I could feel her massive breasts pressing into my chest as I glanced over her shoulder at the day worker. There was no mistaking the disgusted look on his ruddy truncated features.
"I don't know about that, Mintzy."
"What, why not; you don't like the kitty, huh brotha?!!" The day worker was definitely not a fan of me; and didn't like what he was seeing in the least.
"I don't wanna end up in a Al Pacino movie." I backed off as another familiar face appeared from the same foliage covered area.
