"You look stressed out."
My boyfriend's voice floats over to me, swirling into the background of my day. I'm on my second--third--fourth cup of coffee, my fingers threatening to shake from the caffeine. And yet, I'm barely getting anything done.
"...Did you hear me?"
I hold up a finger as I finish typing a sentence. It's been like pulling teeth all morning, my brain still so sluggish from the night before. I'd always struggled with being a bit of an insomniac, either being unable to sleep because my brain wouldn't turn off or unable to sleep because I was being plagued with nightmares. And while I'd learned long ago to accept that my brain hated me, I could never figure out why it hated my body, too.
What was the point of me being tired all the time?
"Just...one...more...thing..." I trail off, my eyes stuck on my screen. "Wait. Fuck. Did I just type the same thing twice in a row--"
Suddenly, my laptop snaps shut right in front of me.
"Hey! What the hell--" I finally look up at him, my expression narrowing. "I was right in the middle of that document--"
"You literally have auto-save turned on all the time."
"Still. You could've gotten my fingers!"
"You have incredibly fast reflexes." He grins. "It's impressive, really."
I cringe away from the compliment, my usual response.
With an eyebrow raised, he continues, "What's going on with you today? Something on your mind?"
Shit.
Here came the part where I had to tell him that my brain simply does not
work
. I'd somehow managed to hide that fact from him for a long enough time, pretending to be functional whenever we went out together, whenever he came over. But a few weeks ago his lease was up at his place and we decided it was time to try cohabitation. After a rather quick move-in period, things felt like they were snapping perfectly into place.
Except for the fact that I was still tossing and turning at night. It felt worse because he could fall asleep so easily, drifting off into it as soon as the lights were turned off. Sometimes, I'd watch him, envious about the simplicity of it--
"Princess. Come back to me." I could feel his palm gently cupping my jaw. At the same time, something warm bloomed in my stomach. "Where did you just go?"
"Uh..."
"That's not an answer, princess." He leans even closer to me. "Try using a complete sentence."
"I didn't go anywhere," I lie. "I'm fine."
"Are you sure?"
"Am I sure that I'm fine?"
"Are you sure that you want to lie to me?" He sighs, his gaze lingering on mine. "Is that what good little girls do? Lie to their Daddy?"
Daddy.
My thoughts instantly turn fuzzy at the word, the littlest part of me threatening to surface. "I wasn't--I'm not--"
"There you go again. Not using your words." He moves away from me, his hands reaching out for mine. "Come with me."
"But I need to make more progress on--"
"Daddy's just going to put you down for a nap. That's all." His smile is warm. "And then, you can get back to it. Okay?"
"I can't."