*The fictional story of an everyday mature white woman who wants to feel really sexually alive for the first time before it gets too late as told by the one who she eventually turns to for help. Her first and most likely last Lover. A Black Man.
CHAPTER THREE - COME CUM NOW, LADY
Everything you may have read about Linda till now is what I learned from her as I got to know her better. The bonds of trust allowed her to share it with me. Because her story is one that can be written of so many I have shared it. Some forget and some will never really know the generational difference of so many like her as compared to today. Born into a world of being innocent and naive, dominated by men who felt that was the proper way. Men who wanted to keep an advantage over those they wished to control to retain their power.
Fearing the power of a woman to be superior and like wise frankly a race. But time does change things and it has. Mind you I don't condemn her husband for being so naive himself as to not know how to emancipate her sexual being. That was not his fault at all. It was the "norm" and who could blame him for being a "normal" man. But as the times have changed and people right along with it he only knew what he knew, did what he did and she loved him just the way he was. She knew no better herself and submitted to him just as her mother instructed her to.
Linda never had another close encounter with Maggie as she did that day and they never really spoke of it again. But throughout the years Maggie remained her confidant and that is where this story picks up. Having learned that she could achieve an orgasm. Having learned that she could make herself cum through masturbation. Linda accepted satisfying herself in trade for what her husband neglected to give her. In her mind it was a fair enough trade.
So, when they "had sex" she waited for him to fall asleep and his snoring became her cue. She'd read the yellowed pages of "My Secret Garden" by the light on her bed stand and "used it" just like Maggie had said. Soon she had enough fantasies of her own to spur her on. She could turn out the light and let her own thoughts take her. Those thoughts became like her "Soaps."
She was a nurse sometimes in love with a doctor who offered to "examine" her. Or perhaps she was an orphaned girl who met a man she only found out later was actually her brother. Linda discovered the more taboo the subject was the better. So she eventually got stuck on what was the greatest of all to her way of thinking. Linda began to think of being taken by a Black Man.
All the things she'd ever heard about the size and lust of a Black Man became her erotic fixation. Perhaps it had something to do with what her mother said about not wanting her husband to have to resort to Black prostitutes. She fantasized about the sexual promiscuity that was tied to the race. Of course it was the reputed size of a Black Man that she thought about. After all she was part of the "bigger is better" generation. She wanted BIGGER and she wanted BETTER.
She felt along with everything else her husband neglected to give her, it was not his fault. Besides, she never found much about him to think about as he left her snoring. So he was never a part of it. She gave him what he wanted as a wifely duty and since he never attempted to give her more or knew how, she conjured thoughts of who might. Her most powerful masturbation orgasms came thinking of what it would be like to be taken by a Black Man. Not by force mind you but taken in the sense that she could not stop it from happening simply because she did not want it to stop from happening.
It was what she wanted. Her "soap opera" fantasy became one of a brilliant Black doctor. One she admired and one she trusted and one she wanted. "He" understood her "innocence" and was not trying to take advantage of it. All the same, when she allowed him to know her needs and desires, he was ready willing and able to TAKE HER just as she wanted to be taken. Taken but still in control.
She didn't want to be degraded. She did not want to be a "slut." She did not want to be "his bitch." She wanted to be a woman wanted and taken by a man who wanted her to have what she needed and nothing more. Certainly she wanted nothing less. She had that with her husband for all the years he was able. Now, when even that was not possible, her mind and her body wanted to know what it felt like to be a "real woman" taken by a "real man." Just once. Just once.
And so it became more than just a fantasy for her when she reached the age of "now or never." However she came to the conclusion to approach me all I can say now after the fact is it made sense for the both of us. I may not have been a "doctor" though coincidentally I had wanted to be one. I was not exactly a "free agent", being married as well myself. But I am a sexual being and very understanding and frankly I had coveted thoughts about Linda which I kept to myself.
As I got to know her better and talked to her on the casino floor I could not deny how much she resembled my own secret fantasy. I could not deny my attraction to a woman like her as I explained in chapter one of this story. She'd become part of my own masturbation "soaps." Every time I saw her, pushing her husband's wheel chair (after I got to know she didn't come to the casino alone), I would see how she walked with a "swagger".
Whenever she saw me she gave me a hug and those hugs turned to embraces I found myself looking forward to them. Then one night as I was working security for a concert standing in front of the stage to make sure no one attempted to get up with the celebrities, dancing with the crowd to make them feel I was not just some stiff looking to stop their fun, Linda suddenly was right there. We danced together.
I liked it a lot but wondered just how her husband felt sitting there in his wheelchair. But, she had started "the dance" and I was not to refuse it. So I "danced her". After that there were times I wanted to be so bold as to warn her about how "dangerous" it was to have danced with me the mere mortal I am. I began to fantasize about telling her how she came to mind for me as I stroked my cock which even though being married I do like most married men I assume.
There is a big difference from a sex orgasm and a masturbation orgasm. One has nothing to do with the other and there is no shame in enjoying them that way. I have tried very hard t get my wife to understand this but she doesn't. I'm sure like many wives she thinks if I have to masturbate something must be wrong. Wrong with HER, wrong with ME, wrong with US. NOT AT ALL. It was my first sexual experience. NORMAL... and for all I know it may be my last. I'm sure Linda would agree to that. It does not mean you are "dissatisfied" or your partner isn't living up to your needs even though it was just that for Linda. In my case I just like to masturbate when I feel like doing so. So I do.
But just like Linda I don't as a rule imagine I am with my wife. Why would or should I? Masturbation is "free range." It's not about what I "could be doing" because frankly I could be doing that. It's more about "what could I be doing and who, and how" because in the reality of it all, really I'm doing one person. ME.
So, when Linda first approached me I was taken a bit "off guard" but not really. She came into the casino as usual. Pushing her husband as usual. Stopped to greet me as usual and gave me the usual hug I looked forward to. But when the "embrace" which it had turned to ended she said "How late are you working tonight I need to ask you a question but not right now?"
Her eyes were sparkling but I've seen the look before so I thought not much and told her my schedule.
"I'll see you soon then, before you leave" she said with a nod. I nodded back. She pushed her husband onto the gaming floor and I watched her like so many times before. Having thoughts like so many times before and thinking nothing else like so many times before. Little did I know this was not to be like so many times before.
Linda had come to the casino with a lot more on her mind than I could have ever imagined but was bound to find out. Little did I know then but Linda had a plan and she had ran it by her friend Maggie. She wanted to feel what Maggie had felt so many times with men though she wasn't ever going to desire to be with a woman. Not like she was with Maggie that one time. Not like Maggie had been with other women other than her. But she wanted to feel a man not just on top of her as her husband, the only one, had been till he was no longer able to.
She did not want to be just a place for a man, any other man besides her husband to "dump" his load into. She wanted "Love American Style, sky rockets in flight, afternoon delight". She wanted to be taken by a real man with a real cock and she wanted the brass ring. To her the cock was very big and so it was Black like in legend and in her fantasy. She wasn't a "nurse" so he did not have to be a "doctor." In fact she told herself she knew the difference between what was real, could be real and what she might really be able to make real. It was me.
"Well Deary, you know what I say. Go for it. He can only say two things, YES or NO, and from what you've told me sounds like a good bet so I say let 'em roll".
"I think so after all, I know enough about him to know he's a good man, happy with his wife, but something tells me if he had as much to lose he'd be very discreet. Maggie bottom line is if I am going to do this, well there is something about him I want".
"Ever masturbate thinking of him"?
"OMG what do you think? Yes! Why?"
