Cuckold Talk Under The Table

A wife and Husband are having dinner sitting in a small corner booth in a high end steak restaurant outside of Columbus Ohio when the husband describes an observation he made earlier in the day.

HUSBAND

(Leaning forward.)

This girl at Starbucks...she must have been twenty. She put both hands down beneath her short workout shorts, very thin workout shorts... plucked at both sides of her underpants and pulled them down to cover her butt cheeks...right in front of me and everyone. I was six feet away.

WIFE

And tell me why were you watching?

HUSBAND

I sit right where the line forms to order...in the soft chairs. I looked up and there she was... pulling down her panties.

WIFE

Should I order you to sit facing the wall next time you go? I thought you went there to write not gaze at woman's butts.

HUSBAND

I know. If that's an order you know I'll do it.

WIFE

Yes. You will.

HUSBAND

But I like those soft chairs where the line forms.

WIFE

I knew there was more to your Starbucks visits than writing paragraphs.

HUSBAND

The occasional harmless observation ... that's all.

WIFE

And the discomfort...

HUSBAND

What?

WIFE

The discomfort women endure to be beautiful.

HUSBAND

(Questioning.)

She wasn't that beautiful. What's that got...?

WIFE

Beautiful enough to engage you in a little moment of... what?

HUSBAND

Amusement. Nothing more.

WIFE

Panties creeping into your butt crack is annoying.

HUSBAND

I wouldn't...

WIFE

You wouldn't know? Imagine if...

HUSBAND

What?

WIFE

If... I ordered you to send me a text every time a woman's butt caught your attention. How many texts would I get?

HUSBAND

When I was at Starbucks?

WIFE

No. Anywhere. Anytime. When you were out. How many texts would I get a day?

HUSBAND

Depends on where I was.

WIFE

A normal day at the office and out to lunch. How many butt texts would I get?

HUSBAND

I don't know. Maybe 10 or 15 if I was out walking at lunch in the Short North area.

WIFE

Every hour?

HUSBAND

Hah...well yes there are a lot of attractive women there.

WIFE

So I get the real reason you like that Starbucks in Short North.

HUSBAND

No. I like the energy...but I enjoy a good-looking woman. It's a natural reaction.

WIFE

Her butt.

HUSBAND

Should we be having this conversation?

WIFE

You started it.

HUSBAND

It was a funny moment...young woman fixing her panties in Starbucks.

WIFE

I'm not fond of you looking at women's butts. I don't share your cuckold fantasy. For me...you sexualizing other woman is offensive. But you brought it up.

HUSBAND

I'm sorry. I should have known.

WIFE

Yes. You should have known. You need to remember your balls are mine darling.

HUSBAND

All yours. It was nothing. That's why I told you.

WIFE

It wasn't nothing. That's why you told me.

HUSBAND

What?

WIFE

You know I get insecure at that kind of thing...yet you brought it up.

HUSBAND

I forgot. I thought you were over that. I'm telling you it was meaningless.

WIFE

When you bring something up like it means something. You don't get to mention how much you love admiring a woman's butt while you're out alone and not have some kind of consequence.

HUSBAND

What kind of consequence?

WIFE

I don't know. Fifteen times a day is a whole lot of butt watching.

HUSBAND

It's not sweetheart. That's like maybe 30 seconds of my day.

WIFE

It's more..I'm sure it's more.

HUSBAND

Okay. But not much more.

WIFE

(Her anger escalates.)

It's humiliating.... You're moving me out of your life. You've got this secret butt watching....

HUSBAND

I was wrong to bring it up. I'm sorry. But there's no need...it's nothing. It's your pride that's hurt.

WIFE

I should leave you.

HUSBAND

(Shocked.)

Come on. Come on. Don't be like that.

WIFE

(Firm.)

That's where it takes me...your little butt watching story takes me there...

HUSBAND

Come on it's nothing. Here take ... my hand.

WIFE

No. No. I don't want to touch you.

HUSBAND

It's nothing. It's instinct, it's a brief journey of my eyes traveling to a woman's butt.

WIFE

I'm not you. You like humiliation. I don't. I hate it. You've humiliated me.

HUSBAND

No. I have not. You're taking this personally.

WIFE

It's how I feel.

HUSBAND

But I'm not humiliating you. It's a tiny set of moments.

WIFE

I'm imaging how I'd feel...how I'd feel if at the end of a week if I had 100 butt texts from you...there's nothing tiny about that.

HUSBAND

The way you put it... that's making more of it. I love you. I adore you.

WIFE

How is it you adore me when you're ogling wo...

HUSBAND

Stop. Stop. It's nothing.

Why can't you just be amused.

WIFE

Oh.

HUSBAND

Yes...so...yes I notice women's butts...I look but for the last ten years yours is the only one that matters.

WIFE

Clearly not. You say that. It doesn't change how I feel.

HUSBAND

That's not fair.

WIFE

It's how I feel.

HUSBAND

How?

WIFE

Humiliated.

HUSBAND

Angry?

WIFE

Yes. 98 on a scale of 0-100.

HUSBAND

You hold on to it. You want to punish me.

WIFE

(Feeling lighter now.)

Yep. I like it. It frees me.

HUSBAND

What?

WIFE

It helps me realize how deep my expectations of you run. How I expect you to be perfect.

HUSBAND

I want to be perfect for you.

WIFE

You're not. You like to think all the kneeling, and obedience and the "yes Mistress" stuff you do is aiming to make you into the perfect man. It's a scheme. A self centered game you've roped me into.

HUSBAND

That hurts.

WIFE

Hah...that's your pride isn't it?

HUSBAND

I want to be everything to you. Nothing less.

WIFE

You'll never be everything to me isn't that the point of your cuckold fantasy?

HUSBAND

Well...yes.

WIFE

That I have a relationship with Edward because he enjoys seafood and you don't?

HUSBAND

Yes, but even there ...

WIFE

Even there?

HUSBAND

I don't think anger frees. It constricts.

WIFE

No. It's the opposite. It frees me from all this fake stuff you make up.

HUSBAND

It's not fake. I want you free...I want to serve....

WIFE

At the moment I feel free from the "I shouldn't be angry if my husband has eyes for another woman's butt,..." thing I tell myself. After all...I've enjoyed Edward's penis.

HUSBAND

Yes. You have. Without anger.

WIFE

No there's always some anger at you when I go out with him.

Husband

Why?

WIFE

I need it. Because you let. Normal men don't let there wives go...Because It frees me to enjoy him. I'm not... worried ...I'm not false.

HUSBAND

I don't think you're false.

WIFE

You have this need to submit.

HUSBAND

I like to submit to you. Yes. Doesn't that help...

free you?

WIFE

No. The anger does.

HUSBAND

The anger?

WIFE

It creates a haven in me, helps me know what I want...get clear without all the clutter about what you want or what anyone wants, my father, my sisters, our kids, my co-workers. It frees me.

HUSBAND

Then that's good.

WIFE

Maybe.

HUSBAND

I want you free.

WIFE

You say that but when I am...I'm not thinking of you.

HUSBAND

Well I want that. I want you to feel separate, free to enjoy another Edward, free to tell me what you want, to separate...that's a big part of the cuckold play.

WIFE

You inspire my anger to help me get real?

HUSBAND

I want you real. Authentic.

WIFE

Edward makes it real. He helps me lose you. He takes me and I like that.

HUSBAND

How does he do that?

WIFE

He's real. He's not wanting to get on his knees or buy me 17 pink roses.

HUSBAND

But that's the...

WIFE

Game.

HUSBAND

That we play together...the play is false of course. The love, the joy is the experience we share together.

WIFE

Yes.

HUSBAND

Yes. Yes. Say that again. It is a joy. The joy is the point.

WIFE

Your butt watching isn't a joy.

HUSBAND

No. I know. I'm sorry.

WIFE

But you're not really. You'll be doing it again next Saturday when I'm out of town.

HUSBAND

It's harmless.

WIFE

It dismisses me.

HUSBAND

It's got nothing to do with you.

WIFE

Like me parting my legs for Edward has nothing to do with you? You miss my point.

HUSBAND

What?

WIFE

What you ask of me is contrived. What you do is real. What you pretend to want is for me to break away from you. But really you want a little show and for me to stay close.

HUSBAND

I want to go all the way.

WIFE

Let's try. Let's see. I'll go further.

HUSBAND

Yes.

WIFE

How about right now?

HUSBAND

Okay.

WIFE

Get down on the ground underneath the table and kiss my foot. Stick your handsome butt up in the air.

HUSBAND

Here?

WIFE

Yes. Here. You like humiliation get down under the table and kiss my foot.

HUSBAND

(Reluctantly.)

Okay.

WIFE

(Leaning down to speak to him.)

Good boy. Stick your butt out.

HUSBAND

(On his hands and knees beneath the table begins kissing his wife's foot.)

Yes. Yes.

WIFE

(Dialing her phone.)

I'm calling Edward.

HUSBAND

Yes.

WIFE

(Speaking on the phone.)

Hi. It's me. I know. I was thinking tonight we could do the overnight you've been pestering me to do.

HUSBAND

(Whispering.)

Mistress?

WIFE

(Speaking on the phone.)

Tonight. But I need you to pick me up at the Maplewood Grill as soon as you can. I'll tell you the story later. Can you do that?

HUSBAND

(Urgent whisper.)

Mistress?

WIFE

Good. We're at a table in the small room off the bar.

WIFE

Yes he's with me... on his knees...yes, under the table kissing my foot. Okay. Hurry. Don't keep me waiting.

HUSBAND

(Whispering.)

Mistress?

WIFE

(Ignoring her husband looking at her phone.)

HUSBAND

(Urgently.)

Mistress? Please.

WIFE

No. Stay there. Edwards's on his way.

(Edward arrives. Wife stands and gives him a hug.)

EDWARD

Has he been been bad?

WIFE

Yes. I'm making him show off his cute butt.

EDWARD

I see that. Are you ready?

WIFE

(To her husband who remains on all fours under the table his butt sticking out.)

I'm leaving with Edward. We're spending the night together. Stay there for five minutes...

SERVER

(A SERVER steps near.)

Ma'am is everything okay?

WIFE

Yes. My husband's had a panic attack. It helps him if he takes some deep breaths on his hands and knees. When he's okay he'll pay the bill. Give him five minutes.

HUSBAND

I'm okay.

WIFE

(In front of EDWARD and The SERVER.)

No you're not. Stay there. Breathe.

WIFE

(To The SERVER.)

He'll pay.

(To EDWARD)

Let's go.