3:27am.
It was 3:27am and I hadn't slept a wink. I'd lain there, in vain, for so long that my face and pillow had merged into an amorphous blob, but the sweet release into nothing wouldn't come.
Was it stress? Unlikely; what did I have to be stressed about? My tuition was taken care of by a generous scholarship, and coursework came easily to me. Could it be boredom? Maybe. I'd been scrolling on reddit so long that my thumb was cramping. I know you shouldn't lay in bed on your phone, but I couldn't help it. Scrolling or not scrolling, the result would be the same.
Frustrated beyond belief, I gave up. Throwing my phone to the other end of my dorm bed, I pawed at my laptop and resolved to find something less menial to distract me while I waited for dawn. A dozen icons resolved themselves as my desktop came up. Not in the mood to play anything, I was loathe to even consider looking at coursework, and wasn't overly tempted by the thought of listening to music.
The only option left to me, as you might suspect was always going to be the case, was to jerk off.
And now, dear reader, the private negotiation of how to best serve my intimate whim. There was the tried and true method of logging into TubeStars and cherry picking from my saved favorites, which ran the risk of offering almost too much choice sometimes. I could gamble with the roulette of hitting the 'Random Video' button; a risky play, but occasionally worth the chance to stumble upon something new. There was also the option to see if any of the girls I followed on JustAdmirers had posted anything new since earlier in the day. My folks would be so mad if they knew how much of my full-ride scholarship funding was spent on KaylaB's nudes. I'm sure I'd paid at least a month of her rent by now; I followed a half dozen other girls on a rotating basis, but Kayla was my favorite by far. Just thinking about the things she did with that pink dildo I'd sent off her wish list last month had my cock twitching eagerly. My mind was made up.
I don't know what it was about her, honestly. She wasn't popular, with only around 60 fans paying a modest $5 or $10 a month to see her stuff, but I felt strongly that she was criminally underrated. Sure, she didn't show her face, but the internet is a weird place to be a woman, so I couldn't hold it against her. She was, in a word, sensational. Her profile said she was 19, which meant we were the same age, and that she was studying Journalism in school; as an American Lit major myself, knowing that she could probably write competently certainly added to the appeal. I don't have to tell you, surely, that her body was just remarkable too; so naturally curvy and squeezable, I adored the way she jiggled just so when she bounced up and down on her toys. The other guys that lived on my floor were constantly competing for the attention of the slim, fit, cheerleader types on campus, but not me. I liked big hips, strong thighs, the kind of boobs you could take a nap between, and just a little bit of tummy. Kayla had all that, and more. She was perfect.
I clicked 'login' and groped around in the dark for something I'd eventually catch my latest offering to Kayla with. A pair of boxer shorts would do for now. A little orange notification in the top right of my screen told me that there were new posts by at least one of the girls I followed; I scanned the list that folded out. A new vid from AngelSkyy that I'd check out later, another timeline post from MsRiskey to apologize for another week of not posting (I needed to cancel that one), and the prize I'd come here in search of: KaylaB has made a new post!
I kicked the sheet off furiously while waiting for her page to load, freeing my cock to spring to life in impatient eagerness at what was sure to be another stunning peek into the life of the most gorgeous woman on earth. My heart sank just a little bit when it opened, which had nothing to do with the cute picture of her seated at her desk studying, one boob freed from her tank top, and a pouty curl to the lips that she rarely showed. The accompanying message read:
"Hey guys! First of all, you know that I love you all to bits! I get so many sweet messages from you guys all the time and, even though there's not many of you, I feel like the luckiest girl in the world to have so much positivity in my life from you all! So thank you for that! As you all know, I'm a full time student, and that comes with certain limitations to how much I can do here; I know I'd probably make this more worth people's time if I showed my face, but it's just not an option for me :(((. I've tried promoting my stuff a little bit to get more interest going here, but tuition is coming due soon and I'm gonna have to get a real job to pay for it :(((( I'll still stick around as best I can here, but won't be able to commit as much time to videos and will probably be slow to respond for a little bit while I focus on getting things settled. DON'T WORRY THOUGH you little monsters, I'm not going anywhere for now. I love you i love you i love you MWAH".
For now. She said she wasn't going anywhere for now. She might as well be gone already. I was devastated. I idly cruised away from her page and tried to get myself off to someone else's video I'd saved earlier, but the ridiculous studio quality bullshit and fake moans of the starlet as some meathead rubbed his cock between her tits was just annoying. I gave up on cumming and finally fell into a fitful sleep, filled with nightmares in which I was forced to show all of my cum soaked underwear to my high school gym class.
I awoke grumpily, and I don't mind admitting it; you might think I'm lame, or sad, or pathetic for letting something like this get to me, but it doesn't matter. I did care about her.
When I found her last year, my first at university, I was literally too awkward to talk to women. Seriously. Even posting messages to class portals for my courses was hard because I knew cute girls in my year might read them and think I was stupid. Not Kayla. Every message I ever sent her was warm and amiable, and actually felt genuine. I know that's part of her making sure I stay subscribed, but it was good practice for me, and had given me tons of confidence that I'd never developed on my own. When my dad took off with his sidepiece last year, and I was struggling with watching him be a better dad to the children of a women only 5 years older than me, Kayla played 23 games of Connect 4 with me in a row, just to keep me company. Hell, earlier this semester I had almost asked a girl from my Composition class out, all because of the consistently positive, carefree approach to life that my favorite fan site girl modelled on a daily basis. I didn't follow through with it, but that's not the point.
Knowing I needed to be in lecture in a half hour, I slunk out of bed. I couldn't let this get me down. She was her own person and needed to do right for herself. How would it be if, hypothetically, she found out how upset I was about her need to pay rent. It sounded pathetic in my head. She worked hard, wanted to make something of herself, put positivity out into the world every single day, and I was here like an absolute fucking bum, upset that I might not see her tits again. Even I thought I was lame. I could do better. I would do better. For her.
It struck me, halfway through Post War American Lit. The most brilliant plan I'd ever had. While I was busy chewing the end of my pen and ignoring the professor's half-baked points on Raymond Carver and what it meant to hop swimming pools in the 1950s, the sight of a girl absentmindedly rubbing some lotion on her chapped hands two rows down solved all the problems I'd brought to school with me. I had to get home.
I rushed off the bus and practically ran to my room, not even bothering with an excuse to get out of beer pong with my roommates. They could lose to the 3rd floor guys just fine without me.
I slapped my laptop down on the little desk in my rented room and typed the password to my JustAdmirers account wrong 4 times, cursing profusely at the lost time. Didn't my fingers know that this was an emergency? Finally in, I opened the DMs.
- Hey! Are you there?
I waited. Two minutes. Three. Five. I took off my shoes and jacket while I waited, and generally fidgeted. 8 minutes, it was an effort not to double message. Dave knocked on my door to ask if I'd be coming up later or if they should wait anymore. Resisting the urge to tell him to fuck off entirely, I hollered that I'd be up later. 9 minutes.
- KaylaB is typing...
I thought I'd vomit. We chatted nearly weekly, but the stakes were high today.
- hey goofball! I'm here!!
I hadn't thought this far ahead. I mean, I had, but not really thought about it.
- I saw the post last night, bummer about that huh?
- Yeahhhhh haha but a girl's gotta eat lol
- That's the truth lol. Wish I could help :((( Gonna miss having you as active
- You're sweet :(( I mean, it might not take that much out of me, i just need to pull in a liiiiiittle bit more.
Time to shoot my shot.
- and you can't do that here? surely there's gotta be something more
