At last, I knew what it must be like to be a part of a zombie horde.
I wasn't actually victim of an undead plague; I was merely one of a hundred or so passengers on the first cross-country flight out for the day. We ambled onto the plane slowly, stowing our luggage and taking our seats with the speed and enthusiasm of those mindless creatures.
I found my seat. It was a window seat which, for someone 6'3 such as myself, is not the treat one would expect. I had hoped for an aisle seat and the accompanying leg room, but no such luck. I was wearing jeans and a button-down shirt; just enough to avoid the "homeless chic" look that seems to be all the rage among too many air travelers nowadays. Oh well, once electronics are allowed again I can throw my headphones on and tune the world out for a few hours.
Toward the end of the boarding process I spotted a woman who had clearly missed the "Walking Dead" casting call memo the rest of the passengers got. Far from our slow crawl, she strode with a purpose, carried ably by two of the most curvaceous legs I had ever seen. Her tight jeans accentuated her perfect form. As I looked up at her, I saw she had a beaming smile that certainly did not fit the hour or the setting. A smile that was suddenly covered by her long, auburn hair as she tripped over the older gentleman in the aisle seat, almost landing in my lap.
"Oh my god, I'm so sorry! I'm such a klutz!"
Given that her stumble had given me a suddenly up-close look at her beautiful, probably C-cup breasts, and the black bra that cradled them, I was more than willing to forgive the intrusion. She slid her bag on the floor, and took the middle seat next to me. I was able to steal another admiring glance down her shirt as she struggled to get settled in and buckled up. Not an unpleasant distraction before I tried to sleep away as much of the 5.5 hour flight as I could.
She had other ideas. She introduced herself, and proceeded to tell me about herself. She worked in real estate. She was a swimmer (which, in hindsight, explains her incredible body as well as her burst of early morning energy). She would occasionally lean over me to look out the window. Her forward nature I found odd, but I could hardly argue with having such a magnificent creature rubbing against me, no matter how inadvertent. I'm guessing most people reacted likewise to her, so she never had the need to develop boundaries.