"Whore!" My eyes skim over the emailed reply. It doesn't hurt my feelings. I've accepted what I am. I understand few "real" women look to Craigslist to find sex partners. Even fewer do multiple times. I'd try to convince you my situation was unique, but in truth you hear some variation of it all the time; in a sexless marriage, frustrated, unsatisfied. My marriage isn't loveless though and I'm not trapped. I adore my husband and he spoils me in countless ways, just not sexually- not because he doesn't want to but because he can't. Diabetes took away his function. Medications for complications dimmed his drive.
Do I feel guilty? Yes, I do. Not for my sexuality, but for the dishonestly. In my dream world his cock would get hard and he'd be horny as hell and my sexcapades would include him, along with some other players that he willingly shared me with. I'd be fair about it though. I'm ok if he fucks others too. I'm secure enough to get turned on watching another woman suck him off, but alas that isn't an option.
And I did try to behave. I tried so hard. Months and even years went by with masturbation serving as my means for orgasm. Recently though for some reason, I get almost insanely horny. I'm turning 45 soon and questioning if this is what is meant by a sexual peak. I think of sex constantly, a stranger's looking obviously up and down my body on the street makes me wet. I'm constantly aware of my pussy, sometimes lightly shifting in my chair to give it a teeny bit of friction. Sometimes fingering it to climax in a public restroom or while driving. The latter always done with an awareness that truckers might see in, which instead of causing discretion, leads me to deliberately slow into their line of sight, especially when a honk or light flash makes me aware they know, and like, what I'm doing.
So the thing I've found that is fun about posting ads is how pleasantly surprised the men are. First off they are surprised I'm real. I could be morbidly obese. I could have an ugly face. I could have a disfiguring scar; I could be dumb as fuck and they'd still be thrilled because I'm real, and because their expectations are low. In general these are men who are committed into sticking their cock into whatever they can find that is wet and willing.
The thing is I'm actually attractive, many would say very attractive. I'm older with a fetish for younger men. Cougar is an accurate term. I don't look my age though. I could easily pass for a decade younger than I am. I'm curvy (38DD) but not fat, and work out regularly. My skin is smooth and touchable. My hair is red. I'm well-groomed and generally well dressed; a professional. I come across as a little sexy without an obvious effort to be on a daily basis, and I'm willing to amp it up with heels, lingerie, and killer cleavage when the occasion warrants it. As you can tell, I'm also intelligent and can write. I'm sexually open-minded and comfortable explicitly sharing what I want in writing and in person. Put all together I'm frankly a walking wet dream for the average horny man whose into Craig's Lists lays. The first picture I send, always brings lots of praise and intensified interest, and I get a kinky thrill knowing they are beating off to images of my lips around their cock or pounding my pussy.
My ads always mention enjoying younger men. They also always mention smokers need not apply. I don't bother sharing a lot more because really the horny guys reply to everything. Old ones write (despite my requesting someone 25-35). Men write from hours away. It isn't about my sexy ad it's about playing the odds. They write to every woman, hoping for a real one, hoping for one that picks them. They really should the odds are stacked against them. Within 24 hours of posting I usually have more than 100 replies.
You would think that would mean that it would be easy to locate someone. Unfortunately that isn't at all the case. If you eliminate the ones far away, the ones who are too old or too young, the ones who are creepy, or sort of scary looking, about a tenth deserve follow up. From there scheduling difference lower that. There is also a group just looking for pen pals, skirting the edge of what they consider cheating with picture exchanges and cam sessions. Thus the most recent time I posted (the first in many years). I found myself still falling asleep frustrated and disappointed.
I had been talking to a guy who was interested in bringing his girlfriend along. From his picture he was attractive though looked a bit older than my ideal. She however was an adorable elven blonde, who I was more excited by of the pair. We had agreed to meet that night when she got home from work but that turned into too late to be practical.
It was extra disappointing because I not only had the house to myself for the weekend, but it was the last weekend I would for a while. The next day my sister was moving in with us to "get back on her feet". Privacy would be at a minimum for a while.
