Janet snuggled into me, her arm draped over my chest. I turned my head and looked into her beautiful blue eyes, she smiled.
"Fuck Damian, that was hot."
I smiled back at her. She propped her head up on my chest.
"Don't worry honey."
"About what?"
"When are you going to learn that I know what's going on in your head?"
"Ummm?"
"You can still have your lunch dates with that little slut. Don't deny it, you were worried I would get upset about it."
I just nodded but inside I felt relieved. I liked Amber and wanted to remain friends with her. I had also been worried Janet would be upset after all the dirty talk about Amber from last night.
"She really isn't like that baby."
"Like what?"
I heard an edge in Janet's voice and she started to sit up a little more.
"A little slut.... she is.... in a bad place with her boyfriend. I think she just wants attention from some place else."
Janet rolled her eyes and sighed, making her sound that means, i'll talk slowly so maybe you will understand.
"You are clueless Damian, remind me again how you ended up wooing me? Oh that's right you didn't, I had to do all the work...."
I laughed and she playfully punched me on the arm.
"You're just lucky you're hot, otherwise you wouldn't get any pussy at all!"
She laughed away mocking me, I couldn't help laughing with her at first but then answered her.
"That's a bit rough, I can chat up girls."
Now Janet was really laughing hard, then she stopped, looked at me, blew air from her cheeks and started again.
"Oh yeah, you can chat them up alright, you just can't tell who is wet for you!"
"I'm not that bad!"
"OK then. Which one of my friend's want's to fuck you the most?"
"What the fuck Janet?"
"Answer the question."
"Ahhhh I never thought about it, I don't know."
"See.... you're clueless."
"Alright, hang on.... um.... Jenny."
"Wrong!"
"Liz."
"Wrong!"
"Fucks sake, Simone?"
"Wrong!"
She climbed on top of me laughing.
"Haven't you ever noticed the way Jess is around you?"
"Jess! No?"
"Jess wants you so bad, she made me promise not to tell you, but that was years ago. Honestly, I thought you knew hahahahah. You're even worse than I thought!"
"But she hasn't ever.... done anything."
"Damian, not all girls want to flirt and give themselves to you.... some like to be taken. Jess is like that and so is Amber."
"What? How do you know that?"
"Because im not dumb like you hahahahah."
I picked her up and dumped her on the mattress.
"Aw, don't be sad. You think they are both nice, good girls don't you?"
"Well, yeah."
"Well they are, but they want a guy to take them, control them and fuck them like bad girls."
"What!?"
"I feel like that sometimes, I just want you to take control and fuck the shit out of me."
"I never knew.... why haven't you told me?"
"Asking you to do it isn't the same, think about it! The whole point is that YOU take control!"
"OK, that makes sense I guess."
"It's not about romance. There's a freedom to being fucked like that, you don't have to worry about if the guy is enjoying it, or anything, you just take it, enjoy it."
Janet was turning me on again but at the same time I realised there was a whole part of her sexual life that I was not fulfilling. I felt horny and inadequate, that's a bad combination. Janet interrupted my thoughts.
"I feel like that sometimes, other times I want to be in control, or a mix. But girls like Jess, they always want to be controlled."
"I see..."
"That's why your little lunch date was gushing so hard when you had a go at those guys in the restaurant."
"Fuck, I am clueless."
Janet leaned in and kissed me.
"Lucky you've got a big cock."
Janet fell asleep quickly, I on the other hand was stuck staring at the ceiling again. I lay thinking about all the things Janet had said. Some of it made sense but the most shocking thing was realising how naive I had been. I had always made love to my girlfriends, sex could be dirty but it was equal. I had never considered my partners might want me to control and use them.
I planned to try harder to read signals from Janet and give her what she wanted when she wanted it. The thought of it excited me. The next morning I woke up late, Janet like usual for the weekend, was out surfing. After a shower and a coffee I settled in for a lazy day. At around 2 my phone rang, I expected it to be Janet checking in but it was Amber.
"Hey Amber."
There was no answer but I could hear the mic on the other end crackling and distorting.