"Pussy, cunt, vagina, whatever you want to call it, that was what I, Johnny Johnson Jones was playing with, thrusting my nimble fingers into it. It was wet, it was moist, it was delicious. It was fantastic, bishop, I tell you."
"Well, tell me more, my blessed child"
"her name was Flapping. Flapping Helmet"
"I know the girl in question"
" I saw her when she was know as Bell-end Squirting Jism. She used to work in a go-go bar, "Bouncy Boobies" I think it was called. It made my goo white, seeing her puffies (large nipples), and watching her licking her colleague's pussy lips in a dancing act of wild abandon. I think her colleague was called Todger. Todger Fucking Penis, in fact. It was a stage name of course. She wore a white blouse, with no bra, which made my bollocks drippy, I found. I almost shot my load when Bell-end left the stage and came over to whisper in my ear. She said, "I am Bell-end Squirting Jism. I'm spurting erect and a gaper purple-headed mountain from Bristol. Come and see me after the show." She shimmied off. I watched her silk stockings rise up and down those gorgeous legs. What a woman! The crowd cheered as she re-entered the spotlight, and the hot lights bounced off her glittering pendulous breasts.
"Bell-end" I thought, "what a nice name!"