Before I got married to my husband all I thought about was sex, I lived it, I breathed it, could think of nothing, but my next orgasm or how I could get certain favors from my boyfriend. I was every guy's dream, though I still would not allow certain things like anal or me being on top during a 69, for some reason I was afraid that these were too dirty.
We were married 6 months when I realized that our sex life had become nonexistent, and a year and a half later, it still was. When we would have sex, it was okay, but nothing earth shattering. He would ask for sex constantly, but I would tell him no and then we'd both go to bed frustrated because of our inability to get past the barriers I had put up. I had in effect killed my sex drive and was angry at him for letting me do it. We were at an impasse and it was killing our relationship.
Two months ago something finally changed, something clicked in my head and I realized that by denying myself the thoughts of sex that I had had so often when I was single and that had got me into trouble so many times, I was denying him a part of me that was needed in our relationship. I knew then what I had to do, but I had gone so long not being the aggressor that I had to get up the courage to make the first move. I knew he would not expect it and I would have to take advantage of the element of surprise and let him know that times are a changing for us.