Confessions From an Affair

(It is 1942 and our newlyweds are at Fort Riley, Kansas where Jack is about to start his basic training)

*

"Oh!"

"Yes....there...!"

"Oh, God!"

My orgasm hit and I completely lost my capacity to speak any further. Not that my speech was anything close to intelligible up to that point anyways. My husband was over the top of me and we had been writhing against each other like animals in heat since shortly after his alarm clock went off at four-thirty that morning.

This was the morning that Jack was to report for the beginning of his basic training. We knew that this would be our last chance to make love for up to twelve weeks. There was a chance of a weekend furlough during the course of his training, but there certainly weren't any guarantees.

Twelve weeks!

How was I ever going to make it that long without him? It's funny -- we had been married for less than a week now. Up until that time we had been casual acquaintances at best. How had my life become so entwined with his in such a short time?

A week ago I had been a perfectly happy young lady. I lived at home with my parents and I had a good job. My only worries were finding enough time to work and help out my mother around the house with cooking and cleaning while being tormented by my four brothers on a constant basis.

It was almost hard to recall that carefree girl, now. Now I was a wife whose husband would be leaving her for the next three months to become a soldier. And not just any soldier. A soldier in what was shaping up to be the biggest war this country had ever seen. I wished with all of my heart that we could somehow make time stand still. Let us just go enjoying the moment for a while before circumstances took control of our lives and pushed us to places that we didn't really want to go.

I lay back against the soft pillow while Jack raised his upper body. He looked down at me with such love and tenderness. A woman always wants to look her best for her husband, but at that moment my hair was plastered to my head and face and I knew I must look a mess. I didn't care, though.

I looked back up at my husband -- with his muscles tensed up and his hair all unruly where I had been running my fingers through it. His eyes still had that wild lustful look to them and I could see him struggling to hold himself back so that I could fully enjoy my release. God! The things that man could do to me while making love! They just couldn't take that away from me, could they?

Before I had a chance to open my mouth to say anything to him, he whispered, "Peg, I love you so much. How did I live all of those years before I met you?"

I was so choked up that I couldn't speak for a moment. Instead I contracted my inner muscles around his manhood and watched his face. He gave a small wince and he closed his eyes. I repeated this action a couple of more times. I saw him wince again and bite his lower lip.

Seeing that he was truly enjoying this, I bent my knees and placed my feet flat against the bed. I put my hands against his lower ribcage to hold him in one place and I lifted my hips upwards -- taking him deeper inside me.

I sank back down flat on my back again and then repeated it. Jack let out a long moan of pleasure. I kept up my actions and made love to him from beneath. I knew he was very close and I wanted to give him as much pleasure as possible.

My hands moved up to trace the straining muscles of his chest and shoulders. Over and over I lifted and I could see his face contorting with the pleasure. I wanted to make him feel so good.

His arms began to shake with the effort of holding himself up. I slipped my hands over his shoulders and urged him down over me. As he settled himself over me once again, he took control and started thrusting inside me.

He croaked, "Oh...Peg."

"I love you, darling," I cried.

Then he let loose with a deep groan and pushed deep inside me. I could feel his hot seed emptying into my womb. I put my arms around his neck and kissed his face all over as I felt his glorious release.

Soon afterwards, his lips found mine and we kissed tenderly. I wanted to hold onto him for as long as I possibly could and never let him go. However, the U.S. Army had other plans and I don't think they included us staying naked and making love twenty-four hours a day.

At long last, Jack raised himself up once again and said, "I don't want to, but I think I had better get going."

I grabbed him just as he started to pull away. "Promise me one thing?" I asked.

"What's that?" he replied as he looked down at me.

"Promise me that you will always love just as much as you do today," I said in a small voice.

"I can't do that, Peg," came his reply.

I froze as I stared up at his solemn expression. "Because I'm going to love you more and more everyday of our lives," he finished.

Then he leaned down and kissed me again. My heart was filled with so much love. I wished that we had the time for me to show him just how much. Unfortunately, he heaved himself up and was heading for the shower.

While he was getting himself ready, I went to the kitchen to make him some breakfast. That's something my mother instilled me in me from birth -- if you can't do anything else for someone, you can at least cook them a meal.

While Jack was eating, I busied myself with cleaning up. I was so upset with the prospect of him being gone for the next three months that I just couldn't talk. The whole time, he was going over everything for my benefit again.

"Sergeant Richards' phone number is written on that slip of paper underneath the phone. If you need anything, you just call him.

"If you can't get in touch with Sergeant Richards, contact Lieutenant Daniels. He's the one in charge of our group.

"I've left enough money to tide you over in the top drawer of the dresser."

There I was -- an emotional wreak and he was giving me a list of instructions! All I wanted him to do was to tell me how much he didn't want to go and how much he loved me and needed me.

Men! They always have to act like they can solve every problem by making lists. Why couldn't he see how much I was hurting inside? Why couldn't he tell me what he was feeling inside his heart?

Well, I've been alive for eighty-four years now and I still haven't discovered the answer for that. I guess its just the way God made men and women. However, if you ask me, I think He definitely made a mistake when he made men like that.

Before you knew it, Jack was standing there in his neatly pressed uniform. He had his duffle bag slung over his shoulder as he headed towards the door. I followed close behind him with a lump in my throat. He turned as he got to the door and held his arms out for me. I stepped in close to hug him one last time.

"This is the hardest thing that I've ever done, Peg," he said, "I just want to stay here with you and never leave you."

I fought back my tears long enough to say, "I would love that, too."

I felt bad that I was making this so hard on him. I tried my hardest to show him a smile and I brushed at the front of his uniform.

"You had better get going now. I will be fine here until you get back," I told him.

Jack leaned down and gave me one last kiss and then he was gone. I stayed at the door and watched his broad back as he walked away from me. The apartment already seemed so much quieter. I looked down the row of our building and saw the same scenario being played out at each door.

The men all boarded their bus and it whisked them away. I closed the door and I couldn't think of what I was supposed to do next. In the end, I settled for going back to bed. Jack's scent still lingered there. It wasn't much, but it was going to have to be enough to last me until the next time that I saw him.

I could only lay there for so long feeling sorry for myself. At last, I got myself up and looked for things to do about the house. Since it was such a small apartment, there really wasn't much to keep me occupied. I decided that I would go out for a walk and do a little exploring. It's funny, but since we arrived here, I had spent almost all of my time in bed with Jack and I hadn't seen too much of what was to be our new home.

As I was leaving, I had a sudden thought and turned towards Maria's door. I thought that she could probably use something to keep her mind occupied as well. I knocked on her door and waited. I began to think that she wouldn't answer and was about to turn away when the door slowly opened a crack.

"Maria? It's Peggy from next door," I said, "I was wondering if you wanted to take a walk with me and have a look around.'

My tiny neighbor looked around nervously, but didn't answer right away.

I tried again, "Come on," I urged, "You can't stay cooped up in that apartment all day."

Slowly the door opened and she came outside to join me. I smiled at her and we began to walk off down the road.

"I don't think Roberto would like me going out without him," she said in her heavy Spanish accent, "Maybe I no tell him."

"That's right," I replied, "we girls can have our own little secrets, can't we?"

We both had a little laugh and the mood seemed to lighten. Maria turned out to be a really nice girl -- easy to talk with. I loved her accent so much. She always called me "Payjee" instead of "Peggy" and it made me smile every time.

We had been walking for a little while when we came to a corral where some mounted soldiers were putting their horses through their paces.

"Look, Payjee!"' Maria said excitedly.

We walked over for a closer look. Being a country girl, I had grown up around horses and could watch them for hours. I don't think Maria had been exposed to them very much. She looked on wide-eyed.

When we arrived at the corral we could see that all of the riders were black. I hadn't expected this and was surprised.

Maria said, "They is soldiers, tambien?"

A soldier who was standing nearby answered for me, "That's right, ma'am. That there is the 10th Cavalry. They're the finest mounted cavalry unit in the U.S. Army."

We watched as the riders and horses rode by in formation. Suddenly the formation was broken and it seemed as if men and horses were flying every which way. As quickly as the formation had broken apart, it reformed and continued promenading around the ring. These men were indeed fine horsemen.

Maria spoke up, "Roberto say he in the cavalry, too."

I looked at her quizzically. Jack had never mentioned which particular unit he was assigned to. I wondered if he too would be in the cavalry. It sure would make a good fit for a country boy like him.

I said, "Maybe both of our husbands will be learning how to ride horses like this."

The soldier that had talked to us earlier spoke up once again, "No, Ma'am. The Army doesn't have much use for horses anymore. The cavalry that your husbands are in would be one of the tank companies. This here cavalry unit is one of the last of its kind, I'm afraid."

I looked at our new companion as he spoke. He was a little older than we were -- perhaps in his late twenties or early thirties. His skin was dark brown and quite weather-worn. You could tell that he had spent a great deal of time out of doors. He was muscular, but not in a bulky sort of way. Instead his muscles were long and loose. It was easy to picture him astride one of the magnificent horses that thundered past us.

He extended his hand. "I'm Sergeant Jackson, ma'am," he said, "and these here are my boys."

We introduced ourselves and then Sergeant Jackson swept his arm to indicate the other buildings in the vicinity.

"All of these building you see used to be stables for all of the horses. Lately, they've been moving the horses out and turning the buildings into garages for the new tanks," he informed us, "We used to have the finest riding school in the whole world right here."

I thought that I could detect a look of sadness sweep across his features.

"You think that you have it all," he finished, "But then someone goes and takes it all away."

We thanked the sergeant for being so helpful and told him how much we had enjoyed seeing his unit performing.

"You ladies are welcome back anytime," he said, "If there's anything we like more than riding, it's riding in front of an audience."

We took our leave and continued with our walk. Everywhere that we went there were always soldiers marching or running in formations. I saw Maria doing the same thing that I was -- watching each group as they passed to see if maybe our husbands were included in their number. Unfortunately, we never did catch a glimpse of them.

We eventually made our way back home again. I hadn't been aware of just how far we had walked, but now my legs were tired. I said goodbye to Maria and went inside. As soon as I shut the door behind me, I was once again aware of the deafening silence inside the apartment.

I again wondered how I was going to make it through the next three months. I had never been separated from my family or so far away from home. However, the time did pass. I found myself wandering back to the horse corral almost every day to watch Sergeant. Jackson's men practicing their complicated routines.

Sometimes, Sergeant Jackson would come over to say hello. After a while I found myself seeking him out. His booming laugh never failed to cheer me up when I was feeling a little low. He was also very knowledgeable about the history of Fort Riley and the 10th Cavalry

"Sergeant. Jackson," I said to him one day, "I hope that you don't mind me coming by here every day. I wouldn't want to disturb your training."

"Oh, ma'am," he replied, "You don't have to worry about that none. These animals aren't much for conversation."

He waited a moment and then added, "And the horses don't talk much either."

His laughter rang out and I found myself laughing right along with him.

"And one other thing," he continued, "the name is Daniel. 'Sergeant. Jackson' makes me feel like an old man."

One day, Daniel showed me around the stables where they kept the horses. I think that I might have surprised him by not being put off by the strong odor that the animals gave off. In fact, as we were looking at one of the horses, I picked up a brush and started to run it over its coat.

"Looks like you've been around a horse or two in your time," he said.

"Well, I'm not as much of an expert as you are, but I've spent some time around barns," I replied.

After that it became part of my routine to help in caring for the horses. It may not have been the most glamorous job in the world, but it made me a little less homesick and helped to pass the time.

It had now been more than a month since Jack had left for his basic training. One day I could hear some of the girls outside talking. I wasn't feeling too well lately and I thought maybe they could take my mind off of how nauseous I was. I wandered out and introductions were made all around.

There was Miranda and Millie from New York, Phyllis from Philadelphia, and Mona from Pittsburg. They were sitting in kitchen chairs that they had dragged outside and they were drinking beer while they talked. They offered me one, but I declined since I wasn't much of a drinker. I did see quite a few empties laying about, so evidently I was alone in abstaining.

The other girls were all bemoaning the fact that there was so little to do at Fort Riley. The two New Yorkers were both very brash and outspoken. They had the rest of us in stitches with their wild sense of humor.

Several beers later, Miranda said, "If they don't let that husband of mine come home soon, I am going to climb the walls."

The four of them clinked their bottle together and laughed.

Millie piped up with, "I know that if my Bobby isn't getting any action in the sack, he can get just miserable."

"Maybe that's what the army wants," said Mona, "That way they'll have the meanest soldiers in the world."

We all laughed, but I was starting to feel a little uncomfortable. I certainly wasn't used to having these kinds of conversations in public. However, before I had a chance to excuse myself, Miranda spoke up once again.

"All I know is that I am so horny that I am going to eat my Charles alive as soon as he comes through the door."

There were some scattered giggles. Millie blurted out good naturedly, "You little tramp -- I bet you meet him at the door on your knees."

Miranda slapped her across the arm playfully and they all laughed at the taunt.

Miranda wasn't done yet. "Look at Vermont's face, "she said while pointing at me, "What's the matter? You don't do those kinds of things up there in Hicksville?"

I could feel my face turning beet red, but I laughed along with the rest of them. From there on, the conversation was mostly about sex. I was shocked at how open they each were on the subject. I was also a little jealous of how free they were in discussing it. It sure wasn't like that in Loon Lake!

Our conversation was interrupted a short while later when Maria opened her window and called out, "Payjee! Roberto just called! They coming home for the weekend!"

We all looked at each other and then all was commotion as each of us grabbed some of the mess and we scattered back to out own apartments. I could believe it! Jack was coming home!

I rushed inside and tried my best to do something with my hair and put on fresh clothes so that I would look nice for Jack when he came through the door. I then went to the front window and peeked out. My heart was pounding as I strained for the first sight of our husbands arriving.

It wasn't long before that familiar army bus pulled up out front and our guys came tumbling out. All up and down the row of our building you could hear the high pitched squeals as we screamed our joy. One by one the girls each ran out to meet their husbands as they left the bus. Roberto was one of the first to get off and I watched as he scooped Maria up in a huge bear hug. I felt so happy for her and smiled as I watched the two of them.

I know it could have only been a couple of minutes, but it felt like an eternity until I saw Jack coming down the steps. I rushed forward and threw myself into his arms before he even had both feet firmly on the ground. Jack hugged me so tight that I could hardly breathe.

After just a moment, I could feel Jack wince and he set me down. I looked at his face and saw him laughing and cringing at the same time.

"Easy," he said, "easy. I've had a slight injury."

I looked at him with concern. "What's the matter, darling?" I asked.

"Oh, it's nothing major," he replied, "I had a small mishap on the obstacle course and hurt my darned knee."

"Well, let's get you home then," I said as I slipped his arm around my shoulder to help him walk. We walked towards our door, but I don't think I was very much use in helping him along. Jack was easily six or seven inches taller than me and outweighed me by a good deal.

"Peg, you have no idea how good it is to see you again. I have missed you so much."

It made me so happy to hear that he had missed me as much as I had missed him. I said, "I prayed so hard that they would let you come home this weekend. I thought I would bust if they didn't."

We made it through the door and I helped Jack to the chair so he could rest his leg. I turned to head towards the kitchen and asked, "What can I get for you?"

Jack leaned forward and reached out to grab my hand. He spun me back towards him and said, "You can bring me my beautiful wife so that I can kiss her over and over."

I gladly leaned over and kissed my husband tenderly. I wanted to show him just how much I loved him and how much I had missed him. Jack wrapped his arms around me and pulled me onto his lap. As soon as he did, he sat bolt upright and let out a painful yelp -- almost dumping me on the floor.