When you tell someone that you are a Photographer the subject sooner or later turns to "fine art" nudes. I use the little "" because no one wants to come out and say "Hey do you do glamour photography?" It's is always, "So, you must have done some fine art nudes in your time." It is in all of us, that curiosity of the naked figure. And finding someone who just might have seen more than their fare share but also has photographic evidence of the fact, well that's just gold. As the party goes on the questions finally turn to what they really want to know, "Did you have sex with any of them?" And any good photographer will tell you "No, not one of them." And that's the truth, well the truth for the nude models anyway.
I have always been into photography, grew up with a camera in my hands from the age of six, through the awkward teenager phase and onto adulthood all of it self taught so I gave the pompous Universities a wide berth and struck out on my own. Money is always the key and the burden. My dream of my own studio quickly disappeared with the reality of hard work. I began to do small family portraits in peoples homes, good god I even photographed pets just so I had money to pay rent. I fell into wedding photography, again, as a one year deal to get enough money for my studio, I'm still doing weddings and my one year deal is now close to fifteen.
Weddings are wonderful occasions, I am married and not looking to get married again, but I get a great feeling when I am at a wedding snapping away. The job is not without its highlights, most women want to show off their dresses, hats etc. that they have brought for the occasion and the demand on the poor photographer can be a daunting experience. Like I said, I am married so have spurned a few advices usually from drunken guests. But I am human and red blooded and have slipped from the righteous path in my time.
The first time was a couple of years ago, work had become a bit of an escape from home life, a baby has a nasty habit of turning a wild, frisky marriage into a very straight, sedate one. My wife and son are the best things in my life but, the wife will agree on this, I have a very high sex drive. I can usually be found surfing porn or on a chat room somewhere trying to calm my libido this helps, but nothing beats sex.
The wedding was early February and as luck would have it the day had turned out mild. Wonderful you say, sure was unless you were a bridesmaid with a lovely fur cape that bridzilla INSISTED you wore. The three of them were stood outside the hotel where the wedding and reception were to be held. One smoked while the other two stood chatting and sweated. I snapped a few candid images before strolling over and introducing myself. Lisa was the smoker and BFF of the bride. Julia was a close friend and the final one was the girl who had caught my eye originally. Jet black hair done up in an extravagant bun, pale skin and curvy in a dress that did not do her justice her name was Jayne and she was sister of the bride. We had never met but her Joanne the bride always went on about her anytime we met. "Oh Jayne is a hoot," this "Jayne only went and did it anyway," that. Today Jayne seemed pissed.
She wasn't shy coming out with what they all thought, the fur capes had to go and, if they had the chance the dresses too. Pink champagne in colour, sweet heart neckline and frilly, hideous had met its match. "Be better if we just walked down the aisle naked, be less embarrassing." Jayne said to Julia. By Julia's face I assumed this was not the first time Jayne had said this. I could not help it at the mention of someone being naked my eyes lingered on Jayne, especially her cleavage that was out on show above the neckline of the dress, I snapped to the moment I realised I was doing this, very unprofessional.
The only hitch during the wedding was the bride and groom getting hitched. The reception was outside and after the usual group photographs the bridesmaids were finally allowed to remove their fur cloaks. Jayne lingered close by, mainly down to the fact that she helped corral each guest required for the shots but once those were out the way she remained, supplying me with drinks and the odd nibble. There was an easy air between us and I found my flirting, which I usually use to get the shots I want, going slightly overboard which began to affect the amount of photographs I was taking. I apologised and told her in the nicest way possible that I had to get a move on. She took it gracefully and strolled off.
The rest of the day felt as if I had insulted her in someway that what I said had come out totally wrong she seemed to be avoiding me, I barely saw her and when I did it was a fleeting glance or she would appear in the back ground of one of my shots. Not surprisingly after the Wedding breakfast the DJ made an appearance and the drinks and bad dancing started to flow in equal measures. My shots started to flounder the last thing that married couples want to see is pictures of drunken in-laws and friends. "Have you taken a break yet?" I turned round and saw Jayne smiling at me two glasses of champagne in hand. I replied that I had yet to take even a pee break. Jayne handed me one glass of champagne, "Then you need a break," she clinked her glass against mine and toasted her sister and new husband. Cheap champagne is hard to swallow but I gulped this down like I had just stepped out of a desert.
"I don't suppose you could take a few shots of me on my own?" Jayne asked a little shyly. I said as payment for helping me deal with two rather rambunctious families the least I could do was take a few quick snaps of her and lifted my camera, "No not here, outside its too crowded here."
