After waking up late for work, and managing to get showered, Tina and I managed to stumble into work. We each called, she claimed car trouble, I claimed that I over slept. Luckily, there are two different doors, not visible to each other to enter the office. We went through our respective doors, and went about our work. Seeing each other was strange. I am sure that everyone could tell that we were acting strangely.
She managed to not call me at all during the day, and avoided looking in my direction. I sent her an email asking her if we could talk that evening after work. She told me that she was going to work late to make up for lost time, but after that we could. She was walking by when my boss asked me to stay to finish up a project that he could not get done. I did not question it. I considered it punishment for being late. At least I did not have to tell her I was working late, and have her think I was making it up.
When everyone had left, I walked to her desk. She looked a little agitate, but I just told her to let me know when she was done, and we could talk. She nodded, and said OK, and I let her get to her work.
Walking back to my desk, I realized that I had gone from seeing her as a little off looking that very first time I saw her, to underlying sexuality, to beautiful. This is dangerous territory. Just let her set the pace, if there is a pace to be set. I needed to not push anything on her.
After a couple of hours, she shyly walked towards my desk. I watched her the entire way, and I could tell that it embarrassed her. She started blushing. I did not want to make her uncomfortable, so I finished what I was working on quick, and shut my computer down.
She pulled up a chair, and sat down. She tiredly rubbed her hands over her face, and looked at me. I saw a resolve there, and I expected that nothing would happen between us, and I felt saddened by that feeling.
Right away, she starts explaining that she has a son that she is raising on her own. She is not sure where a man fits in her life, and on and on. It started to sound like she was trying to create excuses, but I let her finish. When she was done, I took her hands in mine, and I looked at her. I told her that she was absolutely beautiful. My brain was screaming at me to not say it, but I did anyhow. She tried to interrupt me, but I asked that she wait to let me finish. I told her that I understood how it was. I had dated single mothers before, and ultimately I left because there was no room for me.
I told her that I expected nothing from her. I could not just walk into their lives, and everything work. I would like to be friends, or at least not ruin our professional relationship. If she had room for a lover that she could kick to the curb, I would take that. In my brain, that sounded desperate and chauvinistic. Yeah, let's be fuck buddies.
I rallied quickly, and told her that I felt that she deserved the physical love that we shared, and that it seemed like she needed it. Oddly enough, she started letting her guard down, sensing I was attempting humor. She started a grin, so I went forward, and told her that she was fabulous last night. She laughed at that.
I sat back, and said that I would like to see if there is anything here at all. We do not have to date, or move in together, or even be lovers, but I did feel an attraction to her, and had for some time. I even told her that though she carried herself in a proper way, that there was an underlying sexual presence there that drew me to her.
I stopped, as I was afraid I was digging a hole. I asked her when she had to pick up her son. She said anytime really, but she had to call her parents to let them know. I asked her if we could get a bite to eat, going Dutch, and see if we can ease the strain. She agreed, and called her mom to let her know when she would pick up her son.
Dinner went well. We managed to avoid talk of last night, and sex in general. I told some old stories that humored her and a joke a two that made her laugh outright. When we left, I gave her a peck on the cheek, and told her I would see her tomorrow. She thanked me for a nice evening, and we both went our own ways.
The next day was like any other. I managed to leer at her when she was not looking. It was Friday, so she had jeans on. When no one was looking when she was nearby, I would give her a smile. This is how things went for a couple of weeks.
It was a Friday afternoon, and she sent me an email to meet her in the break room. I went there, and she was waiting for me. She took a deep breath, and told me that she was pregnant. Not sure how much time passed, but she chuckled, and said she was sorry for doing that, but was kidding. I laughed as if relieved. She apologized again, and then said that she wanted to know if I would come to her house for dinner that night. Her son was with the ex-husband for the weekend. I wondered if the joke was an opening to resume where we were, or just a jab at me in general. I accepted, and she said to come over at 8:00. She said she was making a homemade pizza, and we would have wine with it.
I asked what I should bring, and she said to just show up. She hesitated, and said to get a movie to watch if I wanted. She did not specify what movie, or even what kind, leaving that up to me. I went to the store after work, and looked around. I picked up a recent action movie that neither of us has said we seen, as well as an old cult comedy that we both liked. I found a chick flick as well, just in case. I stopped and wondered if the getting a movie was another signal from the party, as that was our main topic.
I get to her place a few minutes early. She answers the door wearing the same clothes from work. She ushers me in, and says it will be about another 20 minutes before it is ready, and asks me to sit down. As soon as we sit down, she asks me point blank if I could handle being occasional lovers. I had to understand that things could end, or change in a moment. I had to be willing to accept that, and not become attached. She said the same of her, that if I wanted to end it, she had to be willing to let it end. I felt myself stirring, and I told her that I could do that. She looked at me to confirm what I said. I told her that we both were not sure what we wanted or needed as far as relationships go, but if she wanted a lover, I would be her lover. She smiled, and I asked her if she wanted to make out while we waited for dinner. She chuckled, and then leaned to me, and we started kissing.
Her tongue found its way to mine, and I was instantly erect. I managed to restrain myself to just kissing until dinner was ready. When the kitchen timer went off, she went into the kitchen to finish preparing our dinner. After a couple of minutes, I followed her. She was just starting to cut the pizza when I walked up behind her, nuzzled her neck, and told her that I had a wonderful idea. She giggled, and asked me what it was. I moved my hands to her jeans, and unfastened them. I whispered that I wanted to share dinner naked. I wanted to look at her, and continue to be hungry.
She told me I was so bad, but did not stop me as I slid her jeans down her hips, taking her panties with them. She stepped out of them. I slid my hands up her legs and thighs, moved them to the front and slipped one hand between her legs for a quick caress. She gasped, and I moved higher and took off her shirt and bra. She spun around, and exclaimed that there was always a clothing disparity between us, and had me just a naked in a heartbeat. Without even touching my erection, she gathered up the pizza, and headed to the table. We sat and feasted on the pizza and wine, while my eyes feasted on her body. This was the first time I was able to get a really good look at her.
