Making the most of my time with Lexi before returning to reality
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When I was in college, my favorite form of math was the sleep countdown. I would lie in bed as long as possible calculating exactly how long I could stay there. Class started at eight o'clock. It took four minutes to trot to the Social Science building. It took five minutes to dress and brush my teeth. That meant that I could stay in bed until 7:51 and make it.
Years later, I was lying in a hotel bed with my former student Lexi. We had dozed off and shifted positions-I was on my back, and she was draped across my chest. Her head was tucked under my chin, her arm was across my shoulders, her breasts pressed against my side, and because her thigh was over mine, I could feel a little tickle against my hip where her pubic hair brushed me. Her breathing was deep and even-each exhalation was warm against my chest. All in all, it was a wonderful way to wake up!
In my head, though, the outside world was looming. I had to meet my son back at Tufts at 10 o'clock. It was a 15 minute drive from Kendall Square. Five minutes to check out and get the car. That made 9:40 the absolute limit, but I have learned a thing or two since college. It was more realistic to say 9:30 was the limit, and I had better have a plan for getting Lexi safely home before I pushed things that far-it would NOT do to show up with her in the car amid all the other parents picking up their kids! That made 9:15 a much better idea. Actually, if I wanted to shower or get some breakfast, make it 9:00 even. God, I hated math at that moment!
Turning my head slowly, I glanced over at the bedside clock: 7:25. Whew! That left...an hour and thirty-five minutes! Not wanting to waste even a moment more asleep, I gave Lexi a gentle squeeze with the arm that was under her. She murmured in her sleep, but when I kissed the top of her head, she stirred a little more. My free hand reached across to stroke her arm and shoulder. She muttered something unintelligible, but her eyes opened and she turned to head up, resting her chin on my chest to look at me.
"Hey..." she said sleepily.
"Hey yourself," I replied with a smile.
"We have to think about getting back," I said in a regretful tone.
"Mmm...let's just stay here" she answered with a sleepy smile.
"I'd like that, but I don't think that would work out!"
"Yeah...probably not."
"Tell you what...I'll go downstairs and get some real coffee and then we can figure out what to do. Sound OK?"
"Coffee sounds OK," she admitted.
The rest of my statement went unanswered, but I didn't push it. Instead, I slipped out from under her arm and leg, rolled to the foot of the bed, and stood up. I grabbed a pair of shorts and a T-shirt that I had intended to sleep in, then pulled on my sneakers. Picking up my wallet and a room key, I blew Lexi a kiss and left the room.
Now that I had settled the mental math, I thought feverishly about how to make the most of my time with Lexi. As I collected two large coffees from the breakfast buffet, I decided to shave off a few minutes, so I stopped by the front desk and checked out in advance. In the elevator, I thought about Lexi's body in a variety of positions and all the things that I would like to do with her-or to her-in our remaining hour and a half. My cock was stirring in my shorts already, and I was glad to be alone for the ride up.
In the back of my mind, another thought hovered. I didn't want Lexi to feel used-I had spent the better part of yesterday feeling very connected to her, and I knew she that some powerful emotions were welling up inside her. I didn't want to play with her heart just because I wanted to play with her body. At ten o'clock, I would be back in my other world-picking up my son, then driving home to my wife. My conscience wasn't giving me a hard time, but the pragmatics of how to handle all these things vied for my attention as well.
Juggling the coffee, I fumbled the key card over the sensor and let myself back into the room. The bathroom door was closed and water was running in the sink, so I set the cups down. Quickly, I grabbed my phone and texted home: off for a run along the river and then to Tufts to pick up Jay at 10. Love ya. The reply was almost immediate: OK...call when you're on the way. Love ya too. With relief, I plugged my phone in just as the water shut off in the bathroom.
I wanted to give Lexi some space and some time to decide things for herself, so I grabbed my coffee and sat down in one of the armchairs. She came out of the bathroom wearing the pale chemise from the night before. Her eyes were serious, and she picked up her own and came to join me. I was struck once again by her youth-her skin was luminous in the morning light, and she moved with effortless grace, curling herself into the seat beside mine. She took a sip and then balanced her cup on the arm of her chair, watching it and not me as she spoke.
"I don't want to make a big scene, but I have to tell you what I'm thinking, OK?"
"Of course."
"I got all emotional yesterday because I was feeling really close to you and I knew that it wasn't something that could happen for real, but I liked it. You made me feel like a woman, and that's something that I've never had before, even with my boyfriends. I know that I don't love you or anything, and I know that you're not in love with me, but we definitely had something, right?"
"God, Lexi-you're absolutely right. I don't know if I can put a name on it either, but I felt really connected to you all day, and you weren't a student or a college kid or even a fling-you're someone I love spending time with, and the fact that you're a funny and beautiful and sexy woman just makes it better!"
The string of compliments drew a tiny smile despite Lexi's serious demeanor. She tried to keep it under control, but I could see a flush of pleasure creep over her cheeks.
"And even an English teacher can't find the right way to describe it?" she asked, her eyes sparkling with sarcasm. I was grateful that the awkward moment had passed.
"No...we just seem to have a great time with each other," I said simply.
"And you have to pick Jay up at 10, right?"