College Days 1999

Henry sat at the cafeteria table and picked at the limp salad and glanced at the sad meat patty optimistically called a hamburger.

'What the? The lunch room run by sleep deprived students, or the mentally deficient?'

Someone flopping into the seat across from him drew his attention.

A breathtaking redhead in a skin-tight emerald v-neck rested her head on her left hand.

"Hi."

She glanced over, but didn't respond.

"I'm —" was as far as he got before a beefy blonde guy grabbed her wrist.

"I'm not finished talking to you." His voice was a bit high for someone of his size.

She jerked her arm free. "I'm finished talking to you."

He grabbed her arm again. "Jade —"

Henry shot to his feet. "Hey, Meathead. She said she's finished talking to you."

The beefy guy shoved Henry. "Butt out, Dweeb."

The pushed only straightened Henry, so he returned the favor, making the off-balance other guy crash into the wall.

"What the fuck?"

"Hey, what's going on here?" A black man in a security uniform put his hands on both men's chests.

"Whatever," Meathead said, before storming out the cafeteria door.

The security guard shrugged and walked off. Henry sat back down and looked at the girl rubbing her wrist.

"Thank you."

Henry nodded. "Jade, huh?"

"Yeah."

"Dressing to the name?"

She rolled her eyes.

"Sorry."

"Your smirk says otherwise."

He shrugged. "Yeah, I tend to enjoy my humor."

"That makes one of us."

He chuckled. "Ouch."

She pulled her phone out of the inside of her shirt and started scrolling through it.

"Bra pockets are awesome." He smiled, but she continued to ignore him. "So, what was Meathead's problem?"

She glared at him. "The son-of-a-bitch is fucking around on me."

"That's foul."

"That's an understatement."

"You catch him?"

"Lucky for them, I haven't."

"Then how do you know?"

She spun her phone around so he could see the picture. It was of a blue duffle bag on a tile floor with a pair of pink panties hanging out. "I found the evidence."

"Jesus."

She twirled the phone back to herself and looked back into his eyes. "Can you believe the asshole tried to say they were meant for me?"

"What gave it away they weren't?"

"They stunk of perfume."

Henry laughed. "Reminds me of an old saying."

She raised a copper eyebrow. "What old saying?"

He shrugged. "More of a rhyme, but it goes, 'If it smells like fish, it's a dish. Smells like cologne, leave it alone."

She gagged. "Eww, Henry, what the fuck?"

Her reaction elicited another laugh. "I don't know. I didn't create it."

She shook her head. "You're a sick man."

"True." He smirked and nodded. "So, why're you with that ass?"

"Mind your own business." The words were almost growled as her eyes narrowed.

"Lose the attitude. I was just caring." He glared back.

Her expression failed and she sighed. "I'm sorry." She ran her fingers through her hair which was coming out of the ponytail. She shrugged. "It's left over from high school, and kind of expected. He's his frat's president, and I'm my sorority's."

"What's his frat?"

She chuckled. "He won't let you rush it after this afternoon."

Henry sniggered. "I was asking to avoid it."

"One Alpha."

Henry sat back, folding his arms. "I thought fraternities had three letters, not a number and letter."

She shrugged. "He said his had to be special, like him."

"He founded it?" Henry dropped his arms onto the table and leaned over them. "Just how rich is your -- guy?"

"Rich enough." She quirked her eyebrow again as she stood. "You jealous?"

In response, Henry twirled his finger while pointing it at the ground. She turned, showing off an ass that looked like she was smuggling a basketball in her jeans, and then leaned on the table. Her top gaped, allowing him an excellent view of her deep cleavage.

"Damn." He made a show of looking her over again. "All natural?"

She flicked the tip of his nose. "Wouldn't you like to know?" She turned and headed out the same door her boyfriend exited earlier.

He watched her until the door swung back. A shirtless guy dropped into the seat Jade had just left and draped his leg over the table.

"Dude, you see the ass on her?"

"Wooo." Henry shook his head. "That's the kind of woman you have to see leave, but you love to watch walk away."

"I know right? Is there anything better than a round ass?"

"A soft, yet firm big one."

The stranger pointed at him. "Excellent point, Assman."

Henry blinked. "Assman?"

"Yeah, like Billy Gunn in the WWF. You like to watch 'em, love to touch 'em, and a fine one will stop you on a dime, every time."

Henry laughed. "That was over twenty years ago."

The other guy nodded. "Exactly. Means he's not using it anymore."

Henry laughed. "Alright. What's your name?"

"Sean."

"I'm Henry."

Sean shook his head. "Assman fits better."

"If you say so." Henry laughed again. "Where's your shirt, dude?"

Sean looked down at his bare chest. "I don't know." He returned his attention to Henry. "Crazy, huh?"

This elicited a snort from Henry this time, but Sean was staring across the room. "Dude, get a load of the milkers on Kendra." He sounded like he was practically drooling. "Can you believe she's a professor?"

Henry turned. The brunette Kendra sat at a table with a male teacher and the redhead Kelly, the lady who had handled his admission paperwork.

"Henry, how big do you think Kendra's tits are?"

"Probably Fs. Maybe double F." Kendra locked eyes with him and dropped him a slow wink before turning back to the others.

"She's the sexiest teacher here."

"I prefer Kelly."

"She's okay, but wh—"

The professors stood to clear away their trash, allowing the young men to see Kelly had a magnificent ass.

"Oh. Right." Sean laughed. "

Ass

man."

"Shut up." Henry laughed, too.

"See you later, Assman. I gotta see about some stuff."

"See ya."

Henry gathered up his tray and took his dishes to the line. A tall, slender girl with jet black hair smiled at him as she took his dirty dishes and hit them with a blast of hot water from a hose.

"How was your lunch?"

"It was."

She gave him a small tinkling laugh. "How diplomatic."

He shrugged. "I plead the fifth."

"Aw, come on, it's not that bad, is it?"

"Why the interrogation?" His eyes widened. "You're not the cook, are you?"

"Yeah, you definitely didn't like it." She giggled. "No, I didn't make lunch. I'd not be receiving dishes if I had."

"That's a conclusion you reached on your own." He peered into the back. "Why

are

you collecting dirty dishes?"

"That's my job for today. The staff didn't think anyone would want to try traditional Uzbek foods."

"Are you from there?"

"My grandparents." She stuck her hand out. "I'm Amina."

He took her hand. "Henry." And then he kissed her knuckles, prompting another giggle from her.

"Oh, my. Are you flirting with me, sir?"

He left her hand go and gave her a wink. "Maybe." He turned away as others came up with their own dishes.

As he wandered the walls, he heard the Meathead's voice.

"There's that asshole who was pushing up on Jade earlier."

Henry glanced over to see him with a bunch of jock types, all wearing jackets with stylized 1A in a circle over their right chests.

He lifted his hands. "Relax, dude. I wasn't pushing up on her."

"Whatever, faggot. Security won't always be around to save your pretty ass."

Henry dropped his hands. "You think my ass is pretty?" He tilted his head. "And you call me a faggot? Methinks you're projecting."

One of the guys laughed. "Yeah, Dave, that sounds pretty gay."

"Shut." Dave whirled and punched the other guy in the stomach. "Up, Charlie."

Henry leaned back.

'Nice. 'Roid rage issues.'

Dave spun back to Henry. "You watch yourself. Ken will show you what happens when you fuck with One Alpha."

"Wha—?"

He felt his boxers yanked all the way up the crack of his ass as his feet left the floor. He slammed into the ground, knocking the wind from him.

The jocks shouted, "One Alpha!" as they left.

Black heels and nylons appeared before Henry's eyes. "Oh, my god. Are you okay?" A hand appeared next. Henry glanced up to see the concerned gaze of a woman with porcelain skin and black hair. He pushed himself to his feet and rearranged his shorts.

She stood almost as tall as his own six feet. "Are you okay?" She said again.

"Yeah, I'm fine except for my underwear in the crack of my ass."

She covered her mouth as she laughed.

"Why did I say that out loud?"

She reached out and put her hand on his shoulder. "I don't know, but you're funny."

"Thanks. I'm Henry."

"I'm Daphne."

"Daphne, we have to go. I'd like to continue to discuss our economics class with you," someone said in an snooty voice.

Henry looked over and saw a blonde-haired, blue-eyed guy in a blazer, button up and slacks. He turned his attention back to the raven-haired girl. "That Fred, or Shaggy?"

She again covered her mouth as she laughed. "That's mean, but no. He's Baldwin. He's in my business classes."

"Daphne?"

"Let her breathe, dude," Henry said.

Baldwin's icy blue eyes glided over to him and back to Daphne. He held his hands with his fingers pressed together in front of his waist.

"I have to go Henry, it was nice meeting you."

Henry watched her walk away, noting her small, yet nice ass. "Nice meeting you, too."

"Hey, you."

Henry glanced over and saw Jade with two other young women. One had an asymmetrical haircut, dyed blue and dressed in a pink sundress. The other raven hair, pale skin and was dressed in matching black tank top and booty shorts.

"Hey, you..." He paused. "I'm blanking on your name. Emerald, Grass, something with a color, right?" He smirked at her.

"Jade, you ass." She briefly narrowed her eyes at him before returning his smirk.

"Right, Jade." He gave her a bow of his head. "What can I do for you?"

"You hate Dave, right?"

"Who?" He scratched his head. "Oh, the juice box?"

She raised her left eyebrow. "What?"

Henry posed with his arms out, bent at the elbows. "Steroids, square body."

"You're mean." She covered her mouth as she laughed.

Henry shrugged. "Nah, I don't hate him. Why would you think that?"

"I saw what the Alphas did to you yesterday. My g-strings don't even go that high."

"Let me see." He circled behind her and put his hands around her waist before tugging the back of her miniskirt out. Before he could get a glimpse, she pulled away, giggling.

"You're bad."

"Very."

"I need you to do me a favor." In a flash, the humor was gone from her face. "I want you to find out who Dave is cheating on me with."

Henry folded his arms. "What's in it for me?"

Jade glanced over her shoulder at the two girls waiting on her and then back to him. "We can discuss it later." She dipped her hand into her purse and pulled out a pen and paper. She wrote briefly and then handed it to him. "Text me." She walked over to the others and said, "Let's go."

As he watched them walk away, Jade seemed to put a bit of extra sway in her hips and the blue haired one used her index and middle fingers to point to her eyes and then at him. '

I'm watching you.'

He shook his head.

'Jade is trouble. But damn if she doesn't seem like the good kind of trouble.'

"Hey, Assman!"

Henry turned around. "Hey, Sean."

"Whatchu up to?"

Henry shrugged. "Don't know. Find a class to go to, I guess."

"Dude. You don't have a schedule?"

Henry snickered. "Shed Yule?"

"Yeah, you know: A list of classes and what time you're supposed to be there?"

"Oh. A

sked

yule."

"That's what I said." Sean lightly punched his arm. "Why'd you pronounce it like that?"

Henry shook his head. "Never mind." He then backhanded Sean's bare chest. "Still no shirt?"

"I must have lost it somewhere." He pulled a folded piece of paper out of his jeans pocket. "I got a list of open classes we can check out."

Henry looked over Sean's shoulder at the beautiful handwriting. "You're a calligrapher?"

Sean looked up at him. "Yes, why?"

"That's pretty fucking cool, dude."

"You really think so?" He turned to face Henry fully. "You're not going to give me shit about it?"

"Fuck no." Henry shook his head. "Not even in a joking way. Calligraphy takes a lot of time to master. You've got skill."

"Hey, thanks, man. I appreciate it."

"You're welcome." Henry tapped the paper. "So, which one do you think we should check next?"

"Gender Studies."

Henry shook his head. "Fuck no. I'm not down with hating half the human population."

"No way, Assman. It's easy credits."

A tiny young woman came up. "Hey, Sean. Who's this?"

He glanced down. "Hey, Myra. This is Henry. I was telling you about him before."

"You're a Pygmy." Henry's comment came with a bit of a giggle.

She frowned. "No, I'm not. I'm American."

Henry chuckled. "No, I mean you're under five foot."

"Four ten, so what?"

This time he cackled. "Pygmy."

"Shut up." She turned back to Sean. "Your friend is an ass."

"Yeah, but he's otherwise a cool guy, I promise."

"Yeah, right."

"Henry, apologize. Show her you're not really a dick."

"I'm sorry. I didn't intend for my joke to make you angry."

She glanced back at him. "Then what did you intend?"

"A smirk?" Henry shrugged. "Maybe even an 'Short jokes. How original.'"

"For Sean's sake, I'll let it slide for now."

"Thank you, Myra." Sean put his hand on her shoulder. "You know anything about the Gender Studies class?"

"It's not a class for you."

"Why not?"

"You don't care about it."

"How do you know?"

Finding himself ignored for the moment, Henry leaned against a wall and listened to the unusual pair of friends.

"Sean, do you really care about women's rights?"

Sean shook his head. "Absolutely not."

"The gender pay gap?"

"Not even the slightest."

"Equality?"

"Nope."

"Vagina?"

"No —," he paused. "Wait. Yes. One hundred percent."

She rolled her eyes. "Ugh."

Henry straightened. "Sean thinks it would be easy credits."

"Well, yeah, but—"

"See, Assman? Told you this was the class for us." He pulled his phone from his jeans pocket. "We've got twenty minutes before it starts.

"What?" Myra's voice went higher.

When the three entered the classroom, a dull roar greeted them. Sean nudged Henry in the ribs with his elbow.

"Dude, look at all the parrot heads."

Henry snorted. "All the what?"

"Sean, that's mean," Myra said.

"What? They are. Look at all the colors." Sean waved to the group of about fifteen women. "Not a single one has natural hair color."

Henry looked over them again. He spotted blues, greens, scarlets, silvers, and a couple golds. Sean was right.

"Okay, but why 'parrot heads,' dude?"

"Multicolored."

Myra shook her head. "Come on, let's sit down before we call attention to ourselves."

"You know how toxic animals in nature have bright colors, Henry?"

Myra elbowed Sean hard. "Quiet."

A rotund girl stood up and faced them. "Who invited the

males

?"

"That's a sexist thing to say," Sean said.

"You can't be sexist to males. They have all the power."

"Take your seats, everyone." An amused and sultry voice at the front of the room said. The speaker came from behind a section of seats forming a short wall, revealing herself to be Kendra. "That's one of many things we're going to cover in this class."

"Dude, Kendra's a teacher?" Sean's voice was, of course, loud.

"Professor is the proper title, Mr. Shirtless." She walked over to their desks.

"I'm Sean." He smiled.

She smiled back. "Please try to wear a shirt in the future, Sean." She then turned her attention to Henry. "And you are?"

"Henry, Professor."

"What brings you gentlemen to my class?"

"Easy credits and vag—"

Myra clamped her hand over Sean's mouth. "No."

"To gain a better understanding of what women have to go through," Henry lied.

"Impressive, if true, Henry." Kendra walked back to her desk and leaned against it, facing the rest of the class. "Not many men try to understand the unique plight of women in our society."

"What do you mean, unique?" Sean said.

"Women have to face things that men do not."

"And men have to face things that women don't."

"This is true." Kendra nodded. "But men don't have to worry about the gender pay gap, the glass ceiling, or walking alone at night."

"The gender pay gap is a myth created by some idiot deciding to add up the pay of all men's jobs, all women's jobs and averaging them out. It ignores things like hours worked, time taken off, and things like that."

"Interesting." Kendra crossed her arms under her impressive breasts, pushing them up more. "Can you prove it?"

"Right now?"

"I'll give you until next Monday."

"Alright, bet."

"That was something else," Henry said.

"Yeah, I wasn't expecting Sean to argue with Kendra for so much of the class," Myra said.

"I didn't argue with her that much."

Henry chuckled. '"There are two genders!"'

"Well, there are."

Myra poked Sean in the arm. '"What the fuck is Xir, anyway? What genitals does it have?"'

"Kelly never did answer."

The others laughed again.

"Do you think she rolls when she walks?" Sean said.

"Well, she spits when she talks," Myra said.

"Inner joke?" Henry paused at a vending machine in the hallway and pulled his debit card from his pocket. "Or what?"

"A little rhyme Sean picked up from somewhere." She glanced to him. "How did it go again?"

He smirked. "Hey diddle, diddle, you're fat in the middle; you roll when you walk, and spit when you talk; and you can't see your toes."

Henry laughed as he popped the top on his soda. "That's mean to say about her."

Sean cackled. "How do you prepare to eat the pussy of a fat girl?"

Henry shook his head. "No idea."

"You flip through the folds until you smell shit, and then go back one."

Henry laughed again. "That's fucking gross."

"You know why the midget dated the circus fat lady?"

Henry shook his head again. "Nope."

Sean leaned in. "She let him try a new wrinkle every night."

"Jesus." Henry pushed Sean away. "That's fucked up. Where do you get this shit?"

Sean shrugged, but before he could answer, Jade slipped up and put her arm around Henry's waist.

"Can I borrow Henry for a bit, guys?"

The duo looked at her and then back to him.

"Sure can," Myra said for both of them.

Sean opened his mouth to say something, but she clamped her hand over his mouth and drug him away.

"You didn't text me." Jade poked Henry's shoulder with a lacquered nail.

"You gave me your number forty-five minutes ago."

"Plenty of time."

"Yeah, for class." He poked her shoulder in return. "Why're you so impatient?"

"I'm so close to finding out." She ran her fingers through her coppery hair. "I can almost taste it." She took his hand in her smaller one. "Walk with me."

He raised their hands. "Dave probably wouldn't appreciate this." He smiled when she glanced to him.

"Are you scared?" Her left eyebrow arched.

He laughed. "Not even close. I'm just reminding you about how he comes across."

"It's okay if you're scared."

"Thank you for your permission."

She shrugged and released his hand when they came to the gate of a two story ranch style house.

"Who you got there, Jade?"

Henry looked up to the second story where a pair of women in bikinis stood, leaning on a railing, looking at the two of them. She glanced up as well and waved.

"A friend, Stacy."

"We'll be right down. You gotta introduce us." The blonde one said.

Jade chuckled and pushed open the front door. "Come on in."

On entering, Henry paused to take in the luxury of the place. The floors and woodwork just inside the door were cherry wood. Past the foyer, the floor became marble and the woodwork teak. Off to his right, a wide flight of stairs with a Purple Heart bannister went to the second floor.