Introduction: My deepest, warmest heart-felt thanks to my siss girlfriend for her hours of chats with me as, together, we engaged in some very deep soul-searching, unlocking repressed blips of my memories from these years. Where I saw unique, disconnected blips, sweet sexy Damien showed me the very solid RED LINES. Ignorance may be bliss- until one is shown the light. How could I have been so naïve, so oblivious, to so much? The following is 100% true- I share it with you all as part of my own discovery and hopefully(?) it will help some of you to also re-view what your own life experiences really were. Note to my readers- at some point, this story goes from 100% fact to some sort of conjecture. Maybe you can guess where and/or also offer your own insight, speculation, views, own personal experience(s?). For the record, I am certain that this was NOT a one-night moment...
I was an inexperienced- grossly inexperienced, 18 year old Sophomore when I met Betty, a freshman, at a college party. I wasn't a frat boy- I had heard too many stories about that and I didn't like all their machismo. No, this was a biology department party that was open to the entire college student body.
It was the night of the Foreman/Frazier fight (I think- 1978) and the party was off to a very slow Friday night start. Good! More beer for me. My buddies who usually went to these were either engaged with other activities or at fight parties. I don't know if I didn't get the invite for those or I just didn't qualify. O well.
Betty was invited to the party by some of her friends who were bio majors- she, instead, was a business major. Betty wore a LBD, nothing outrageous, she was raised Catholic and attended private grade to high school and now, college. She was cute.. ok, she was real cute- an athletic body with lots of curve but a tight tummy and sexy, inviting round ass.
As I tried to figure out how to approach her & her friends, I saw my opening. Her beer cup was leaking and she didn't know what to do. While I was anything but manly, I did understand chivalry and grabbed an empty cup, saving her from having beer all over the place.
We chatted and made small talk then after a few more drinks, I suggested we go for a walk around the campus. I had never really had a girlfriend before and as we chatted, she admitted that she never had a real boyfriend. Made for each other or made for failure?? The air was cool and after a bit of a walk, we found a campus bench to sit at. We shared some details of who we were and there was some connection- enough so that when I leaned over to kiss her, she responded- slowly and then with intensity & desire matching mine.
We became 'boyfriend & girlfriend' and spent tons of time together. She didn't live on campus- not like the majority of frosh- somehow her application fell thru the college admission's department cracks and she ended up joining one of three upper classwomen in an apartment perhaps 4 miles from campus.
Over the next 12 months, we became close; we became too close, really. I lived at home (sad I know) and worked in a grocery store to pay for my tuition. I was a commuter while friends and Betty were all part of the campus experience. But I knew that I could have some sort of sex with her most any time- not all types but close. For me, with years of just fantasizing, this was amazing.
However, at work, I started to be tempted by women who worked there as well as some of the customers. At the same time, my best bud, Tim, was pissed that I dared to have a steady girlfriend- what about him? We had partied quite a bit our freshman year; he, also a commuter, and I had a lot in common and we would, together, venture through all of the dorms- meet other friends in the guy's dorms, sneak into the girl's dorms and explore the upper classmen coed dorms & on-campus apartments. I felt bad; we were both slowly changing from high school grads to 'young men' and this was our time to evolve. But Betty- always wanting me around her or to join Tim & me. Really?? So, after 12 months of non-stop being with her, I needed space. I needed to enjoy being young- and she was just drowning me.
So- we broke up. She wasn't pleased of course. She thought she had things organized.
And then this happened.
Ch 1
She was too demanding and I wanted my freedom. I dumped Betty; in no uncertain terms, I said NO MORE! I needed my own time and she had to accept that. She offered "what about if we just see each other a few times a week?" HELL NO! Damn girl.. NO!!
My buddy and I valued our Friday night 'wander around & drink beer' time more than me being with her. Cruising around Friday evening- a manageable beer buzz- I was driving a VW bus after all- not like it was a sports car. It DID feel odd to not be around her 24/7. It DID feel weird to not be able to stop by and make out with her pretty much any time I wanted. And, now and then, I did miss our time just talking.
Friday evening was 'guy time' and this Friday had us cruising all over town. Music blasting, whistling at girls we saw, drinking beer and disengaging from class crap, work stress and parents who were way too nosey. This was our time to talk about life and dreams, of how life might be when we each saved up some money to rent an apartment- a party place where we both believed that suddenly we would be the popular guys with all kinds of new friends.
I usually drove; I'm not sure if I had better vision but I did have a bit more money from my job and didn't mind either buying the beer or buying gas. My car was new and I had tricked out the stereo and Tim didn't mind being copilot. But he was surprised that I had deviated from our usual cruise route where all the hotrodders parked to show off.
"Hey, we're near Beth's work, we should stop by" I suggested.
"Hey man, you broke up with her, right? Like 3 weeks ago? Why the fuck do you want to see her? You told me what a pain she is- always clingy and wanting all of your time. Fuck her. Let's go to the strip club. Let's go look at pussy" he replied.
Damn.. He's right.. Betty was fun in bed, and now & then, she would fuck. She didn't like to suck on my cock though- not like it was big- it was, at most, maybe 6" long at full erection at best of times. If that. But she didn't like doing it. She wanted me to be oral on her though. I guess I was OK doing that- some of the time. She loved to have her nipples kissed and sucked and fondled and loved to have that sensitive spot just around her ear kissed and kissed even more.
"Ah come on.. let's go say hi and then we go to the titty bar" I replied. Yeah, I wanted to see real women- assertive, not teens; mature women who knew how to show everyone how sexy they are.
"Well.. shit.. if you gotta. I think it's dumb. You fuckin dumped her... get her out of your mind. You fucked her right?" he said.
"Um.. yeah, we fucked" I replied.
It felt weird to say that, even though I knew Tim for years and years. "She loves to fuck and sometimes, she seems like she's a totally different person- she gets wanton, wild.. wanting cock" I told him.
What I didn't say is that she always said "Deeper.. push in deeper.. harder". I sensed that she wanted- needed to feel my cock much further into her pussy than I could. For ~7 months of us having sex kind of all the time, it didn't dawn on me that maybe I wasn't really capable, even though she really was a virgin and had never done more than touch herself a few times while in high school.
So, we sat in the parking lot- it was almost 10pm and we had consumed another 3 beers each, prompting us both to find a dark spot in the parking lot to pee while waiting for her to leave work. Betty worked from ~5-10pm at one of the startup small, independent cable services companies of the time. She took care of their bookkeeping along with the daytime staff. She was good at it and usually finished filing things- all was done with pencils and calculators back then- early.
And with her, apparently, were the swing shift tech support: people, mainly or exclusively(?) men who tracked customer orders & made sure that PPV orders were quickly processed. I still have no idea what they specifically did- all I DO KNOW is that Betty told me that one of her coworkers often told her about orders for adult movies- LOTS of adult movies. My naïve 18 / 19 year old brain failed to grasp just what these discussions meant, implied or may have lead to.
