All characters are 18+
I don't know what time it is, but judging by the light coming through Caleb's blinds, it's probably just after dinnertime. I can hear kids playing outside. Street hockey, I think. Their sticks keep slapping the pavement, and their rollerblades grate on my ears like really loud static. These kids are going at it hard. Good for them. Now, can't they just quit it and go inside? Don't they have video games they should be playing?
It's not that I hate kids. I mean, sure, I've never been a huge fan of them. And it's nothing personal against these kids, in particular, it's just... fuck sound. Fuck all sounds that aren't Caleb's even breathing and steady heartbeat. Especially fuck happy sounds.
Jesus christ, is that an ice cream truck? Fuck that sound over all others.
I just want everything outside of this bed to fade away, so I can pretend we're in our own little universeâone where obligations, other people, stupid societal rules and boundaries, sex tapes, and crazy, life-ruining fucktards don't exist. Ok, maybe that's a bit extreme, but I'm still not up for leaving the bed. Ever.
After Caleb found me sobbing on the floor, he carried me upstairs, leaving my phone in the living room, so I wouldn't be tempted to torture myself again... and again, and again. He changed out of his clothes and put on pair of sweatpants, before slipping into bed with me and wrapping me up in his warmth and strength. I needed it so badly. One hour later, I still need it, which is why I refuse to budge.
The other reason I'm not moving a single muscle is because, once I do, he'll think it's time to talk, and I really, really don't want to. I'd like to put off acknowledging the blackmail video that means the end of our relationship for as long as possible.
I almost wish I hadn't shown it to Caleb. I could have just kept it secret and broken his heart to protect him from the fallout. I've read lots of books where women in similar situations go that route. Problem is, I always end up hating them for being so amazingly stupid. Like, seriously, we could avoid forty pages of misery if they'd just show some common sense. Instead, they take it all on themselves, invariably making things worse.
Call me weak, but I don't want to deal with this alone. If I'd done that, I'd be falling apart in my room, miserable and curled up in a ball. Fine, I'm still miserable and curled up in a ball, but at least Caleb is curled around me, holding me tight and keeping me together. Those book chicks can shove their martyrdom up their asses.
I showed Caleb the email so we could work through this together, so I suppose it's time to get to the working-though-it part. I turn around in his arms to face him, and his stormy eyes immediately meet mine, as if he's been waiting for this for the past hour. I study his featuresâthe high planes of his cheekbones, lips that are just full enough to be kissable, and a strong jaw that, just last night, I was running the tips of my fingers over. I feel the urge to do that again right now, so I do.
He leans into my touch, then takes my hand and kisses my palm before pressing it to his chest, right where it was last night. His heart is beating almost as quickly now as it was then.
"I'm ready," I lie. I will never be ready to discuss our impending, forced separation.
"I don't what this to let this affect us," he starts. "Not now. But..." he trails off, and I know exactly what he's going to say.
"But you're worried about me."
"Of course, I'm worried about you, Em. You shouldn't have to walk through school wondering who's seen that video... who's seen you naked and coming apart for me." His jaw twitches, and I press my lips to it.
"I wouldn't have to wonder, Caleb. If one person sees it, they all will," I tell him. "I'm jealous of you, you know."
"What could you possibly have to be jealous of?"
"Nobody had cell phones when you were in high school. Did they even have digital cameras back then?"
"Way to make me feel old, Em," he grumps. "That's what you're jealous about?
"Hell, yes! When you were in my age, something like this wouldn't have happened. Whoever this asshole is would've gotten an eyeful and spread the wordâmaybe even taken some picturesâbut that would've been the extent of it. Now, this video can be emailed to everyone I've ever known or posted on some free porn site for millions of strangers to watch and jerk off to."
My stomach turns, and I want to cry, all of a sudden. The thought of people watching what was supposed to be just between me and Calebâwatching something so privateâmakes me want to vomit.
"I feel so... violated," I tell him, as tears well up in my eyes. I tuck my head under his chin, and he wraps his strong arms around me so tight, it feels like he's holding my sobs in. "Nobody can see that video. I don't think I could stand it. Not to mention, it could ruin your career." The tears spill over, thinking of this hurting Caleb in any way.
"I don't want you to waste your time worrying about me, babe. I'll find work, if I need to," he reassures me, "but you're right. The video cannot get out. You shouldn't have to suffer just because I couldn't keep my hands off you." I pull away from him a little and see that he looks truly disgusted with himself, which is just stupid.
"Oh, shut up," I say and smack him on the arm. Then I leave my hand there, because I really, really love his arms. "It's not like I could keep my hands off you, either. I still can't." I take a deep breath and shoot the elephant in the room. "Which is why we need to make the most of tonight, Caleb. It's the only one we're going to have for who knows how long."
He looks at me as if he wants to fight me on this, like he wants to convince me that nothing will keep us apart. But he's as realistic as I am. That email was no empty threat, and if we don't do as it says, there will be irreparable consequences.
"I'm going to find a way for us to be together," he vows. "And if I ever find out who this piece of shit is, I am going to murder him."