Clara was an angel, taking care of her husband John who, at the age of fifty, had developed Alzheimer's disease. It was so sad about how the guy she married, who was ten years older, and whom she loved an adored no longer recognised her because his condition had deteriorated in just the course of a year.
Clara's friend Joanne, who she'd met way back during her school days, frequently popped in to see her and try to give some comfort.
"You are one of the bravest persons I know Clara, the way you have adapted to your predicament," Joanna declared with a tear trickling down her cheek.
"I have to be, there has to be a reason there always is, that is my belief and it keeps me sane, Jo."
But Jo was quite aware that Clara, like her, was still in the prime of her life and needed the comfort and understanding John could no longer give.
Joanne gently suggested her friend should give her brother Jack more precedence, he had designs on Clara and had, with Jo, visited once or twice.
Clara was quite aware of Jack's interest and felt she was attracted to him. But all the time she felt she would have been cheating on John, even though her husband was no longer in the body she had shared with love. He was like a shell, sitting there like a stranger.
She also felt that Jack's interest was purely sympathetic so, despite her own needs, which were strong - the needs that could no longer be quenched with John, she knew just how difficult it would be for her to start an on-going physical and/or emotional relationship whilst John was still alive.
She told her friend quite candidly that she would be loyal to John for as long as he lived.
But Jo gently persisted. She knew John's life was limited but she knew Clara was still entitled to some quality of life which would enrich her and help her to cope with her dilemma. She knew her friend well enough to see the signs of deep depression.
Her solution was unusual but would overcome Clara's reluctance to encourage a committed relationship at this time.
Clara knew quite well, because they shared secrets, that her friend had been 'indulging' in a fiery situation with a young boy some years younger. Her excuse being that her partner could no longer 'do it' for her. And in the long run, Jason, that was the boy's name, enhanced her relationship with her partner, Phil so that was fine.
"But what if Phil finds out, what then, Jo?" Clara warned.
"I manage to be very prudent and Jason knows the score. He really is a delightful young man and has truly brought back the zip into my life."
"So why are you telling me all this right now?" Clara queried.
Jo did not have to say anything. Her look said everything.
"How dare you, with John still in my life. It may be fine for you to cheat but it is not for me, no way."
It seemed a very long friendship was coming to an abrupt end. And crying, Clara showed her to the door.
"How could you even suggest such a thing? First your brother and now a Toy Boy! I would feel; dreadful with John still alive. And I thought you knew me Jo."
"I was simply trying to help that's all, Clara. I care about you. You need something or someone in your life that can give you what you must know you would really want; that which you have missed for so long. I know John was a very passionate guy in his heyday."
"Just go!" Clara retorted angrily slamming the door as Jo exited.
But a after a week went by, Clara truly missed Jo's visits and constantly thought about what she had said and suggested in that 'look' she gave her- as much as her energy was chiefly taken up in caring for John she still experienced those things a woman feels at certain times , the need for comfort , romance and physical gratification.
A vibrator she had bought from Ann Summers was okay but she wanted more, much more. But how on earth could she achieve that and still be loyal to the man she loved, despite the fact that man was no longer present in the shell he once was? When he kept asking who she was first thing every morning when she saw to him, bathed and changed his clothes and the rest of it. It was a daunting task but she loved the man enough to give him her full attention.
But John could no longer be able to give her his love and that which was once his real self.
Over the period of a month, when Jo had been trying to telephone her and she slammed down the phone, she came to terms with herself. She Invited Jo around for coffee so they could chat about it.
"Just give it a try Clara, I am sure John would understand if he were able, you really must start being a little selfish and think of yourself. You will be so much the better for it, I know you will, remember I know you through and through."
She knew Jo meant well but was very apprehensive.
"It is common practice to take on a casual relationship where it is understood by both parties that no commitment is wanted. The idea is simply to use it whilst you have it, enjoy when you can, you don't want to end up a crinkly and miserable old maid do you?"
"I just feel that I should at least wait until John has passed on."
"By which time," Jo added " you could well be past it, putting it bluntly, you need the warmth of a good man to tide you over, until the time John has passed - and you may well be ready for a permanent relationship once more. Surely that makes good sense Clara?
"You need good sex to make you feel the woman you once was, take it from me, Jason is a wonderfully gentle loving young man who has certainly done it for me. He simply enjoys being with older women and I am sure he would simply adore you, with your petite and very attractive figure.
"I mean; -just look at me, I am overweight and not half as pretty as you, but he can still give me his all and enjoy me and that is wonderful. I cherish Jason, Clara I really do, so how about giving him a try huh? Just for me. I just know you will feel so much better.
"And furthermore you don't need to hide anything away from poor John, he will not know anything and he has no need to. Just enjoy what you have whilst you have it, Clara; just let your hair down and it will be simply lovely for you."
"But that would be sharing wouldn't it. I never imagined you would be thinking of Jason. He is your guy, Jo?"
"Not at all, I told you. This won't be a committed relationship. It is just to see you over that's all. Jason is not committed to me and neither am I to him so all is fair and square. Just enjoy and you will with Jason I promise. I have shown you his picture and I know you are impressed. And he knows the score okay?"
"You do know me that much," Clara smiled and looked like she had made up her mind to go for it.
Without another word, Jo phoned Jason and made a first date for him to come along see Clara.
The soup was stirred and despite the primary reluctance and difficulties in accepting her friend's unusual suggestion she agreed. She even told John about it, although realising he could not understand, she just felt better for telling him that's all.
"Put your glad rags on for him Clara, he loves black and red underwear and sheer black net stockings. As for the rest, well I don't want to spoils it for you but, again knowing you, he will delight the pants off you."
So Clara was okay for it, any doubts now and she would go and tell John once more. She said she had a new friend coming to see her, He simply nodded and smiled and that made her feel right about it.
Greeting Jason at the door, he ventured in with a smile that rocked the ages, a smile that comforted her and she simply adored his deep set brown eyes, and that physique. Jo had said he worked out a lot in the gym and that was obvious
