I follow the gospel of Sir Mix-A-Lot, baby has got to have back. I like them thick. If it's BBW then I am ready to play. Give me big tits, thick thighs, round asses and a belly to match and I will have the hardest cock you have ever seen.
And no girl has got this guy harder than Kelly.
But, you know how these things go, right? First we have to get through some bullshit before you get to the good part and start cranking your cock or diddling your pussy. My name is Randy. I am your average guy with a dead end security job. When I first got the job when I was 21 I said to myself 'it's only going to get better from here'. What a load of horse shit. I am now 31 and still sitting at the same desk in the guard shack at a fucking potato plant that's too hot in the summer and an ice box in the winter.
But as snarky as it may sound, it's not all that bad. I get free WiFi, all the coffee I could drink and once a year the company gives us gift hampers of all their products. That's right, your boy eats French fries for a month straight! Still, I work the graveyard, this means I can do what I want more or less, minus some check ins I have to do. But between the hours of 1am and 5am, I don't see a soul.
So I watch a lot of goddamned pornography.
Now it's not only the thick chicks. I like them all. Chubby, skinny, tall, short, red hair, blonde, black, Asian and every race in between. I am an international traveller when it comes to porn. Of course, stroking out in the bathroom gets boring after the first, oh, 3 fucking years of doing it. That's when I figured I needed a woman in my life. That's when I hit up an adult personal site.
What a sausage fest. So many horny dudes and very little action for me. Hell, half the women on there were 'not looking for a man', 'don't contact if single man', etc and so on. You know exactly what I mean, right fellas? Still, I am no quitter (look at my current job for the past 10 years). Even with dozens of no replies or flat out rejections, I am one persistent son of a bitch.
But it wasn't me who made first contact with Kelly.
She slid into my inbox one winter morning saying things like 'oh you seem funny', 'you come off as an honest guy'. Great, I am the funny guy. I can make you laugh. Yay me. But whatever,. I wrote her back and started looking through her pics. There was no spread vag where I could see her ovaries, just some classy (well, for this site) nudes. Almost professional. She was also chubby, with tits the size of my head and thighs a man could drown in.
But let me stress, she wasn't obese. Nothing on her was disgusting. Beauty may be in the eye of the beholder, but if your rolls have rolls, I'll pass. But Kelly? Damn. Just...damn. Red hair, a face and chest littered with freckles, a brilliant smile and of course, a pussy smoother than polished steel. Even after all the porn I had become desensitized to, Kelly's pics were getting a rise out of me. She wasn't just hot as fuck - she was beautiful.
I hit her back with a message. Got to play it cool. Don't send her your dick. Just say some funny shit, flirt.
And this would go on for three weeks without much of a change. I was cursed with blue balls. Sure, I made her laugh and she would end her messages in 'XOXOXO thinking of you~' we really hadn't talked much about sexual things. I was starting to get all types of frustrated.
"Hey, Randy. I have an odd question." My newest message from Kelly. "We have been talking for awhile now and was just wondering. I mean, you're nice and funny and all types of handsome but I want to know something. Do you want to fuck?"
Okay, this was all my fault. Maybe I was playing it a bit too cool. I was playing that funny card and now she just got a full house and cleaned me out. So I responded to her by saying 'yes, I want to fuck you, more than you can imagine'.
That's when she sent me a picture of her fingering her puffy pussy lips and a message that said, 'good, I am fucking soaked and have been wanting your cock.'
I may or may not have done a little fist pump in my office chair. It was time to set a date and finally meet. This Saturday, dinner at Outback Steakhouse, see how it goes from there. As soon as that was set, I went to the bathroom and jerked off like a wild man.
The night of our meetup, I was a mess. It had honestly been half a decade since I had a real date (and not pick up some drunken slut from the bar). I got my hair cut, bought a new polo shirt and put on my nicest pair of jeans. A spritz of cologne and I was in my piece of shit truck to Outback.
I arrived first, got seated and waited. Part of me was expecting some hairy dude with facial tattoos to show up, another was the nagging fear that she wasn't going to show up at all. Thankfully, I was wrong on both account as Kelly appeared in the flesh, wearing a sweater and some dress pants, her hair with a slight curl to it - styled just for tonight. She smiled as she saw me and I waved, standing up to greet her. I wasn't sure what to expect. A handshake maybe? Nope, I got a full on hug and much to my surprise, a kiss on the lips.
Jesus Christ I felt like a kid again.
After the waitress took our orders, we engaged in small talk.
"Wow, you look amazing." I told her, taking a sip from a glass of water.
"Not so bad yourself, handsome." She wore red lipstick, but not a whorish shade. It really suited her and made her lips look succulent, wet. Every time she spoke I found myself entranced by them, often only replying with 'uh huh' and 'of course', fully taken in by those lips of hers.
Did I honestly think we were going to fuck tonight? I wasn't so sure. But just to be on the safe side, I didn't get a big meal. I am pretty sure it would be a turn off if I invited her back to my place for me to pause the action and say 'I gotta take a shit' all because of a slight case of irritable bowel syndrome. Now and then during the dinner she would brush her leg against mine, or reach for my hand. I could tell just from the way she moved and presented herself, the times when she would toy with her hair when I told her some clever anecdote from my past that yeah - she was into me.
I skipped the dessert menu.
"I got this." I said as the waitress brought our bill.
"You sure? I don't mind going half on it." She reached for her wallet on the table.
"Forget it, it's my treat. For making you wait so long. We should have met in person much sooner."
The tab was paid and we went out into the chilly winter night.
"So, that was nice. What you wanna do now? Go get a drink or..." I was about to suggest maybe head back to my place for a movie, but I was cut off as she grabbed my coat and thrust her tongue in my mouth. It took me 2 seconds to realize what was going on before I even bothered to return the kiss, my hands falling upon her hips and my tongue clashing of hers.
When we broke our lip lock, she looked at me in the eyes and had a grin upon her lips.
"How about you take me home and fuck the shit out of me?"
Do you know how hard it is to drive when a sexy, chubby red head is pawing at your crotch? I do. Because as soon as we were in my truck we were clashing tongues once more and her hand was grabbing at my dick through my jeans.
"Holy shit, it feels bigger than the pics you showed me." Fuck, fuck, fuck, gotta get home but gotta try not to crash getting there. "I can't wait to see it in person."
I mean, going 10 miles over the speed limit through a school zone isn't a crime when you cock is this hard, right? By the time we got to my little house, she already had my cock out and in her hand, stroking it just as I was shutting off the engine.
"Ngh, shit girl, you're driving me insane."
