Christian College Sex Comedy

*Death is inevitable; no one can force it upon you or save you from it*

(My editor Frontma takes my ramblings and forges them into something that makes sense, so thanks)

(This one picks up soon after the previous chapter ends)

(Yes, this tale is supposed to be somewhat humorous and outrageous too. While not always comedic I'd like to think it is mostly a good-natured romp.)

(This chapter is sex-lite in case that's why you are here)

"Zane," a woman whispered in my ear. It is a testament to my out-of-control sex life that I didn't immediately know the identity of the woman in my bed even though drugs and/or alcohol were not involved.

"Yes, Hope?" I turned and whispered back.

"We are surrounded," her eyes glimmered.

Indeed, we had been surrounded in the few hours we'd been asleep. Barbie Lynn had crowded in on Hope's section of the bed. As Hope rolled onto her side and snuggled into me, Barbie Lynn wiggled in behind her and pressed her magnificent boobs into Hope's back. She had even put her upper arm to rest on Hope's and had situated her right lower thigh and calf between Hope's legs.

On the other side of the equation, Vivian was on her side, left leg laid over my thighs and left hand on my chest...on top of Hope's hand. Both our new female companions were sound asleep and snoring softly.

"What do you want me to do about it?" I inquired quietly.

"I don't know," Hope seemed conflicted. "Barbie Lynn is having a good dream."

"And?" I wondered.

"Her nipples are digging into my back and she's humping my ass," Hope grinned. At least she wasn't offended. "What would you do?"

"Turn over slowly, push her on her back, spread her legs and then slip two fingers into her pussy and pump her," I tried not to snicker. "Work in small circles, then start suckling on a nipple; she likes a bit of teeth."

"I've never been sexually involved with a woman," Hope said. It wasn't a statement but a declaration of an issue she was contemplating.

"You would like to see Barbie Lynn and me...pleasuring one another, would you not?" Hope mused.

"Absolutely," I nodded slightly, enough not to wake our companions.

"I'll bring it up to her over breakfast," she informed me thoughtfully. "I need to look into her clear blue eyes when I talk this idea out with her."

"She'll like that," I murmured, "and that is what she deserves too." Though asleep (we hoped), Barbie Lynn nuzzled into Hope's ear and let her hand drop down onto Hope's closest breast.

"She's not making waiting easy," Hope looked worried concerning her desire to postpone the encounter.

"The best things in life are never easy," I pointed out before we both drifted back off.

GOOD NEWS AND REJECTION

I woke up with the feeling that something was wrong but I couldn't place it. The alarm wasn't going off, the phone wasn't ringing, and there were no sirens screaming. Vivian, on my left side, had worked her way between my arm and my body and was draped over half of my form. The awkwardness only increased when I realized she'd slid a hand between her legs.

That wasn't so bad except it also meant the back of her hand was also rubbing along my cock. Her other hand had come to rest against my neck on the far side and her face was blowing softly on my neck's near side. Remember the arm she'd separated from my side? The devilish hand at the end of that arm had somehow wedged itself under her underwear and was holding one of Vivian's butt cheeks.

Vivian began the slow, steady process of awakening, bringing about a strange paralysis in me. As her mind wandered its way toward alertness, both of her hands fidgeted slightly. My pulse jumped and my rod raced to iron hardness against her wrist as she stirred.

"Your hand is on my ass," she murmured.

"I'm sorry," I gulped. "I wish I could say I was sorrier but I'm not. My only excuse is that I was asleep when it happened."

"I know, Zane, I put your hand on my ass," Vivian said, her breath tickling my jugular. "It was already close and...I was curious." I blinked up at the ceiling, having moments ago misread the evidence and believed I'd violated this woman's trust in me.

"I am going to spank you," I seethed. "I am going to strip down your panties and spank your butt for putting me through what you just put me through."

"Does it buy me any goodwill if I tell you that Chastity brought some things over for Hope last night?" Vivian wondered. "They're over on the dresser. That's why I cut the alarm off, so you two could get some more sleep."

"The alarm is off," Hope whispered. "What time is it?" She didn't sound so happy.

"I didn't hear you wake up," Vivian apologized.

"Long-range shooting involves controlled breathing," Hope answered. "What time is it?"

Vivian rolled over, leaned off the bed, and retrieved her phone.

"5:27," Vivian hissed back to us.

"Oh," moaned a sleepy Barbie Lynn. "I guess Zane and I will have to do it in the shower again – not that I mind," she finished with a sexy grin.

"No marathon session if you go downstairs," Vivian cautioned.

"Zane and I have already showered," Hope said, "So we can avoid the ritual at this time."

"How was it?" Barbie Lynn propped herself on an elbow and gazed upon Hope's face.

"I will never look at Zane touching or kissing another woman in the same way," Hope imparted to her. "I'll talk about the details when I've digested the lessons I learned last night."

"Yes – lessons," Hope confirmed as she rolled back the covers and sat up. "It is his chosen method for our sex play, that of female student and male instructor."

"That's just fascinating;" grumbled Rio, "but some of us do need showers. If Zane doesn't put in an appearance...hey, what are you doing, Monkey?" Rio's attention turned to Mercy. Mercy had rolled on top of Rio, elevated on all fours, and was now sucking on and nibbling Rio's left nipple.

"Did I tell you to do that?" Rio quizzed Mercy. Mercy shook her head in the negative but kept hold of the tit in her mouth. "Don't you worry, you annoying cunt," Rio grinned evilly, "I've got something planned for your insubordination this time. Now scoot." This time Mercy did wiggle off Rio.

"Why don't you play teacher/student with me?" Barbie Lynn teased me.

"You eat ice cream with a spoon and steak with a knife, Barbie Lynn...but hell, if you want to play Merry Monk and Naughty Nun with me, I'm game," I grinned. Barbie Lynn's grin equaled mine and added a salacious tongue running along the lips. She is my best sexual partner ever.

"Before you run off can I ask Zane for one favor first?" Vivian asked the ladies. I was hoping she'd be considerate enough to ask me too.

"Atta girl," Rio perked up. "Ride his face. Get his patented tongue-tickle wakeup call."

"That's not what I have in mind," Vivian responded.

"Sure," Barbie Lynn answered Vivian's request.

"What; are we stockholders in Zane now?" Hope inquired. "I withhold my vote until I know what Zane has to do and how he feels about it."

"Thanks, Hope," I looked over at her.

"You are my spotter. If you are distracted, your performance suffers and so does mine," she smiled. "It is enlightened self-interest." Yeah, right.

"I understand, Hope," Vivian nodded. "I knew if I asked Zane, he would consult with you ladies so I elected to take on any of your rejections myself. Zane, would you let me cuddle up against you for a few more minutes? That's all I want."

"Sure," I agreed. This wasn't going to be so hard. Unfortunately, fate is cruel and I'm an idiot if there was ever any doubt. Vivian maneuvered so that her back was to me and she was pressed into my body.

Hellish complication number one: when Vivian had leaned off the bed, I had removed my hand from her underwear, causing it to have ridden half-way down her ass.

Hellish complication number two: I sleep naked; my cock was hard and wedged between said ass cheeks, and I mean wedged in deep.

Hellish complication number three: "Zane, could you wrap your arm around me, please?" Vivian murmured. I had a feeling she had closed her eyes, feigning sleep, so I draped an arm over and rested it on her stomach – nice and safe. Vivian took my hand and pulled it to a point underneath her right tit and slightly into her cleavage beneath her shirt.

Okay, I'm thinking, I'm still safe. I can do this for a few minutes and not crack. I had a really good time with Hope last night and I'm not running at a 100% over-stupid like I normally am. Vivian started to stretch, her back arching away from me while her shoulders and hips pushed in. I had to admit that her hair smelled great. I knew what to do next, but then I realized that what I had to do was think like someone who didn't know what to do. (Confused? Join the club)

"What do I call you?" I whispered into her ear.

"Vannie," she responded quietly. 'Vannie' must be the nickname her boyfriend uses.

"Time to wake up, Vannie," I breathed. Vivian kept arching her back, with some gradual hip rotation added to the mix. My cock was rubbing down between each buttock; my hand was being pushed over the top of her shirt-covered breast.

I had a reprieve when the bell's edge of my phallus caught on the waistband of her panties. Vivian swiveled her hips a few more times and then rotated her shoulders so that the palm of my hand wove circles over her breast. Her enticed nipple came out to play by twisting with my movements. I still had some hope, though, that she'd stop soon.

When she ran her hand from her stomach to her crotch I prayed that a little self-stimulation was all she was seeking. With her left hand, which I hadn't tracked, she worked her panties half way down her thighs before resuming her gymnastic routine. Then her fiendish hand migrated over her thigh and cheek until it wrapped around my penis and gave it a squeeze. I had to do something quickly.

"Vannie," I whispered with more urgency, "you really need to wake up." Vivian faked a yawn then wiggled violently against my hips. This allowed her to force my cock through her ass crack and between her thighs. Vivian was showing a surprisingly inherent talent as a champion lap-dancer. I had done the whole pseudo-sex thing last night with Hope so why was I being subjected to this again? "Vannie, I wish you didn't have to go."

That caused a hiccup in her performance. Her hip movements became almost romantic in their tenderness and a low contented growled emanated from her chest. I racked my personality assessment of Vivian to figure out what to do next. Sexual conduct is best when you know what your partner is looking for and meeting that expectation.

I took my hand from her breast, sauntered it up her sternum to her neck and jaw. I tilted her head toward me. Her eyes were still closed as if asleep so she made no reaction as I leaned in for a chaste kiss – no tongue. She kissed back in an equally tender fashion.

"You need to wake up, Vannie," I said one last time. She nodded, gave me another kiss, and then let her head settle back on the pillow.

"Thank you, Zane," Vivian told me as she looked up and over her shoulder at me.

"Fuck it all, Bro!" Rio yelled. "Your cock is in her ass. Fuck her! Fuck her! This is your chance to nail the stuck up bitch."

"She's not a stuck up bitch and my cock is not in her ass," I countered.

"Trust me," Barbie Lynn provided her input, "if that meat was up her butt, the look on her face would be totally different." What happened to normal days of waking up where we greet each other, ask about our plans for the day, and wonder what we are having for breakfast? Seriously, who has discussions about what a girl's face would look like with my dick up their ass first thing in the morning?

"On that wonderful note, I'm going to..." I suddenly realized I was boned by reality. I had nowhere to go. I didn't need to shower and I didn't have to be anywhere for an hour and a half. Speaking of boners, why wasn't Vivian letting go of my cock, which she held tightly against her pussy lips? Well, if you can't be happy...

"Vivian, could you stay with me a little longer?" I requested gently.

"That's it," Rio chuckled. "Lure her in with that patented Braxton seduction then tap that butt good." There was rustling from Rio's side of the bed. "Mercy, you stay put."

"I'm going down and talking to the other girls," Barbie Lynn announced. "Zane, I'll explain things to our shower buddies."

With that, she scooted away from the covers and crawled off the foot of the bed.

"I'm going to put some clothes on," Hope spoke up. "It is something of a marvel that so many of you seem comfortable in your nakedness but I'm not there yet." She too made her way off the bed and to the clothes Chastity had left for her friend.

"Sure, Zane, I'll stay a little longer if you like," Vivian was finally allowed to respond.

I nestled into her and she molded tightly to me. As I was busy inhaling the scent of her hair my hand returned to her stomach. This time it was a little lower – like brushing the top of her pubic hair lower. Vivian did me two better. Her right hand reached back and stroked my hair as I rested my lips on her neck – innocently of course.

Her left hand was up to far worse; she reached down and began to pet my cockhead that was conveniently poking between her legs at pussy level. At that point, I'm trying to figure out why in the hell Vivian is torturing me. A loud slap of a hand on ass echoed to me from Rio's side of the bed. Mercy squeaked. Then it occurred to me; two could play at Vivian's game.

The hand on the stomach wandered up her body, underneath her sleeping jersey and began fondling her left breast, including the occasional pull on the nipple. Another spanking resounded from the Rio/Mercy duo as I freed my left hand from beneath me and wrapped up Vivian's hair. I tilted her head toward me and began kissing her lips. Her mouth opened at my approach and we were soon wrestling back and forth with our lips and tongues.

A third slap of Rio's paddle on Mercy's butt rang out. I began pumping against Vivian's ass. As my cockhead withdraw deep into her muscular thighs her hand followed. I stopped when her fingers touched her clit. I'm still somewhat unclear on how Christian school girls stand on masturbation but it obviously didn't matter that Vivian was doing it right now – she had her shirt bunched up above her breasts, her panties around her knees, and my cock massaging her cunt.

Two more smacks echoed from Mercy's paddling which concluded with a squeal of pleasure. Sometimes those two...I guess the next step is for them to be the first FFU openly lesbian couple or a Bonnie and Clyde crime spree, based on which way the neuron misfires in Rio's noggin. As for which way Vivian's brain was going off the rails, I wasn't totally certain.

"Yes," she broke our kiss. "Yes, yes, yes," she panted. We were now rocking with some real synergy. She titled her face away from me and placed her chin on her chest as her breathing became rapid and shallow. Farther down, my cock and her fingers became impossibly slick with a mixture of my pre-cum and her vaginal fluids.

I picked up the tinglings from her cunny first but they rapidly spread to her stomach and thighs.

"Yes, oh, yes...oh, Holy God...ugh, ugh, ugh...YES!!!" Vivian cried out. More liquid sloshed against my penis – not too much but enough to make me shoot...all over her hand and thighs. "Oh, oh, oh...it's been so long," she wheezed through tortured lungs.

We rapidly put the brakes on our action and settled into a comfortable embrace. A minute later she gave me one last playful butt wag and sat up. My cock was thankfully going into a dormant state. Vivian had swung her feet off the bed, then turned and kissed me (chastely once more).

"Thank you, Zane," she smiled as she began lapping my semen off her hand. "I can't wait to try this out with my boyfriend."

Plus side: Vivian was getting the courage to get back with the long-time boyfriend who had 'accidentally' taken her virginity. I'd like to make Vivian's quality of life better. She also liked the taste of my seed.

Down side: I'm back to being a practice dummy for the ambitious girls around me. Also, she liked the taste of my seed.

"I appreciate you letting me loosen up and work out some of my issues with you," Vivian completed.

Why can't a woman be satisfied with being a total jerk to me so I can stay angry with them for more than five seconds? I know there are chicks out there that get out of bed, sneer down at their former lover, and belittle them before laughing like the Wicked Witch and sauntering out the door. I blame my misconceptions on Lifetime TV – my Aunt watches it – honest.

I flopped down on the bed and stared at the last bit of dark skies before the first rays of sunlight drove them away. Hope stepped into my field of view, grinning, with her ponytail dangling down and tickling my nose.

"Zane, I really care for you and I am saying this with the utmost sincerity," Hope began.

"You should have let Christina throw you out that first day," she smiled. "I have trained in the martial arts since I was five yet I've never seen anyone take a beating like you have in my entire life. The Energizer Bunny has nothing on your staying power, Zane. From Barbie Lynn at the beginning of the semester to Vivian right now, you just get it coming and going. I'm in awe with your inability to learn from your mistakes. I mean that in the kindest way."

"Have I done anything right?" I sighed. Hope grabbed my nose, pinched it painfully, and yanked my head over for eye-to-eye contact.

"You do a lot right, Zane – no pity party for you. I can name a dozen women who would charge into a burning building to save you – me included," she pointed out.

"Zane, I want to protect you, and my Father taught me to ignore the cries of my own family if we were ever attacked because that would reveal my position," Hope informed me. Man, that is just plain fucked up in so many ways I don't even want to get into. What kind of father does that to his little girl?

"I've never had a pet; I sleep with an automatic pistol under my pillow and a combat shotgun beneath my bed. I couldn't imagine anyone would consider himself a man unless he was versed in at least three forms of combat. I don't think I need to go into my instructions should a man touch me inappropriately, much less touch me when I was naked," she smiled warmly.

"Wait," I mused after a moment's retrospection, "you want to protect me? Can't I be the one protecting you?"

"Okay," she replied thoughtfully, "after Karate Club today, you and I can spar and if you can take me two out of three submissions, I will allow you to protect me."

Wait, I am going to risk getting my ass kicked for what? It isn't like she's going to sleep with me if I win, and I can definitely get some action with Cappadocia if I refuse.

"I'd like to but I have plans," I shrugged.

"I am sure Cappadocia will understand. Besides, I might finish you off quickly and the two of you can get at it when I leave," Hope countered.

"What makes you think...?" I get out.

"Zane, you live in a glass house – literally. You and her are no great secret," Hope interrupted.

"Fine, let's see who gets schooled this time," I agreed. "So, how many years of Karate have you had?"

"None," she smiled sweetly. "If it matters, I am advanced in the teachings of Taekkyeon, Hapkido, and Geom Do."

"I have no clue as to what those styles are," I admitted.

"A striking techniques style, a mixed martial arts style, and Korean Sword fighting," Hope informed me without a hint that she was offended by my ignorance.

I knew that was a vast simplification of what those schools taught but from my limited experience, we could sit back and discuss them for twenty years and not cover every nuance. What I did know was, this school had more than its fair share of females unusually skilled in the arts of killing their fellow sentient life forms.