*When I fell to Earth I realized perfection; Earth has everything while Heaven has no Evil*
(Thanks to Frontma for all the grief puts up with on my behalf)
(This starts out a bit chaotic and slow but it does pick up)
(Yes, this tale is supposed to be somewhat humorous and outrageous too. While not always comedic I'd like to think it is mostly a good-natured romp.)
*
It was well past one when I finally had the gang rounded up and headed back out to our rides. It took all of twenty seconds for a buzz-happy Rio to realize that Willa and a now unemployed Belle tagged along. When she did, her look was one of ferocity.
"Oh, hell no!" she snapped, and turned toward the two Warlord ladies. "I'm going to kick your ass."
"Last time I saw you, Bitch, you were half way to the city's sewage system," Belle laughed back. "Want to go the rest of the way?"
Rio surged against Mercy and Barbie Lynn's restraining hands while Willa pulled Belle back, and I ended up in the middle holding them both at bay.
"Calm down Rio, it is cool now," I told my buddy. "Belle, this isn't what you think." Speaking of thinking; I had to think fast to figure a way to turn this situation around. I'd hoped that Rio would be so happy, she'd have let it lie for the night -- silly me.
"Rio, I'd like Belle to give us motorcycle lessons for the trip this summer, and to personally give you self-defense training," I spewed forth my hare-brained idea.
"What the fuck?" questioned Belle.
"Fuck that noise," Rio spat. "I don't need this dink to teach me how to fight." I wasn't sure what a 'dink' was but I doubt it had positive connotations.
"Rio, you haven't picked a martial arts instructor yet and I think Belle's self-taught style would be somewhat attractive to you," I guessed. I had no clue as to Belle's fighting background.
"I'd rather teach a goat how to use a unicycle than teach this moron how to ride a bike," Belle growled.
"I'll pay you fifty dollars an hour per four students," I offered Belle.
"She's a skank," Rio seethed. Belle, on the other hand, seemed to be coming around.
"Fifty bucks-...per four people? What would I have to do?" Belle inquired. She was job hunting after all.
"Teach them how to ride, for starters," Valarie came to my rescue, "plus basic maintenance, road lore, and stuff like that. You'd also have to teach Rio how to not get her ass kicked."
"I keep telling you people, I don't need this bitch," Rio repeated.
"Fine, Rio, but tell me, who is going to be your instructor?" I countered. "It can't be Mercy."
"Want your knife back?" Belle grinned as she reached into her boot and pulled out the butterfly knife Val had given Rio on Thursday.
"I don't know," Rio grumbled, "have you been using it as a sexual aid?"
Belle snorted. "Fuck, with Zane around, who needs one?" Belle smiled wickedly. "Two orgasms in ten minutes at a table on the club floor and that was only with his tongue and fingers."
"He'd have nailed her in the bathroom if it hadn't been for that whole 'no sex' thing," Tawny added.
"I should have stuck with you, Zane," Paige tugged on my arm. "See where you ended up?"
"Who is the ghost?" Belle asked snidely.
"I'm Paige and Zane is with me this weekend," Paige challenged Belle...bad move. Sometimes reactions pull you one way and instincts send you in another. I went with instincts and let events play out. Belle scooped Paige up under each arm and hoisted her up.
"You are what -- 100 pounds? A whole weekend with him and he'd break you in two," Belle observed. "He needs a real woman, not a bit of fluff."
It was time for me to become involved. I reached an arm around Paige's waist and took her weight onto me. Belle was kind enough to let go so I swung Paige up until I was carrying her in my arms. Paige switched her gaze between me and Belle twice, then latched onto me.
"Okay -- I win," Paige announced. "I'm the bit of fluff he comes to again and again, after all."
"You are the freakiest group of people I've ever seen," Hank spoke up. "A sorority president and sisters" (Leigh and Jersey had joined us), "two Warlord bikers, Christian school girls, and a porn star -- no offense, Zane."
"Just another day ending in 'y'," Iona whispered. I caught that zing and snickered.
"No offense taken, Hank," I joked back. "I'd rather have the memories and suffer through the condemnations of those who don't know me than miss out."
"Dude, if you ever need a stand in," Finn added to the joy. He and Ginger had indeed hooked up again, so we were good on that front. Ginger did playfully thump him in the chest though.
"Finn, you are already sleeping on the sofa tonight," Ginger teased. "Would you rather be out on the welcome mat?"
"Thanks for letting us spend the night at your place," Barbie Lynn added to the play.
"What?" Finn squawked. "Oh, come on, Babe." Ginger detached from Finn and wrapped an arm around Barbie Lynn's waist, who reciprocated the gesture.
"Oh, come on, Babe," Ginger mimicked, "We want a little girl time, ya know, one on one." Barbie Lynn turned her head and exchanged a heated kiss with Ginger that decidedly aroused me. I hated to think what Finn was going through.
"Dudes, I'm going down to the river," Finn groaned.
"Wouldn't a cold shower be better and safer?" Leigh asked.
"I'm not going to cool down; I'm going to drown my stupid ass for stepping out on Ginger at the start of the night," Finn sighed. "I deserve this."
"That's what I wanted to hear," Ginger gloated. She gave another quick kiss to Barbie then glided back to Finn. "It's okay, Honey, I forgive you."
