She squirmed in the chair waiting for Dr. Beal to look up from his notes.
"This is what my clients must feel when I am not ready for them at the start of a session," she thought to herself.
Alan Beal, PhD, was her supervisor. She had been his graduate assistant during her clinical studies and she continued to see him to work out her own personal and professional development. When she had a problem client or felt some boundary issues, she made an appointment with him.
"Well, Chris, from what you said on the phone, it sounds like you are worried about...incest, is it? But you have not children and your parents are both gone. I am afraid I do not understand, "he began.
"No, that's right Alan. It's about my nephew, Paul. You see..." she was interrupted.
"Paul is committing incest? Oh, no he's Eve's son. How is Eve? I have not seen her in years. Is she still taking pictures?" Dr. Beal was just not getting it and Chris was becoming very frustrated.
"Alan! Listen to me. Yes, Eve is doing fine as a photographer. That is part of the reason I am here today. Will you let me finish?" She had to assert herself and get the conversation going in the right direction. She needed Dr. Beal to pay attention.
"Yes, yes, Chris. I am so sorry. I was...well, it doesn't matter. What matters is what you want to talk about. Please, go on. I won't interrupt again. I promise." He regained his composure and sat back in the chair awaiting her continuing.
"Okay, Eve, is still a photographer, yes. And Paul is her son, my nephew. He's like 19 now and very attractive. I was up there visiting recently and Eve asked me for some advice. She has had a number of requests to take pictures of people in the nude. So far so good. She has this idea that people might like to do more than just take their clothes off; they might like to do some more erotic kinds of posing. I actually think it is a good idea and so we talked about it." Chris had told him the beginning.
Dr. Beal was already forming a hypothesis as to why Chris was there. He frowned as she went on.
"Oh, Alan..." Chris paused. "Eve asked me if taking pictures of Paul was a good idea. I told her she needed to ask him. Well, he agreed to it." Chris breathed deeply before going on. She wanted him to be erect in the photos so I talked to him encouraging him a bit."β¨β¨"A bit? What does 'a bit' mean, actually?" Dr. Beal zeroed in on the hole in the fabric. "I can't tell if you are delaying something or avoiding it, Christine." Dr. Beal, only used her formal name when he was impatient or angry. He did not believe in being euphemistic. Tell it straight away he would often instruct his students. 'It's fucking, not copulating,'
"Okay, so, I am attracted to my nephew, sexually. I got turned on watching him masturbate and I encouraged my sister to invite him to pose nude for her photography sessions." There. She had said it.
"Is that all?" Beal pursued.
"I participated, too. I let him feel me up and I..." she was feeling embarrassed, but pressed on. "I peed on the floor and let him watch."
Again, Beal, probed, "Is that all?"
"Well, yes, that's all!" Chris' anxiety was high and she was getting defensive.
"Chris, I am only asking because it seems you are making a lot out of nothing. Okay, you have an attraction to your nephew. He's an adult. His mother is there taking pictures. You haven't fucked him. Why are you so worried about incest?" His flat explanation calmed her. Hearing him repeat it, calmed her.