She squirmed in the chair waiting for Dr. Beal to look up from his notes.
"This is what my clients must feel when I am not ready for them at the start of a session," she thought to herself.
Alan Beal, PhD, was her supervisor. She had been his graduate assistant during her clinical studies and she continued to see him to work out her own personal and professional development. When she had a problem client or felt some boundary issues, she made an appointment with him.
"Well, Chris, from what you said on the phone, it sounds like you are worried about...incest, is it? But you have not children and your parents are both gone. I am afraid I do not understand, "he began.
"No, that's right Alan. It's about my nephew, Paul. You see..." she was interrupted.
"Paul is committing incest? Oh, no he's Eve's son. How is Eve? I have not seen her in years. Is she still taking pictures?" Dr. Beal was just not getting it and Chris was becoming very frustrated.
"Alan! Listen to me. Yes, Eve is doing fine as a photographer. That is part of the reason I am here today. Will you let me finish?" She had to assert herself and get the conversation going in the right direction. She needed Dr. Beal to pay attention.
"Yes, yes, Chris. I am so sorry. I was...well, it doesn't matter. What matters is what you want to talk about. Please, go on. I won't interrupt again. I promise." He regained his composure and sat back in the chair awaiting her continuing.
"Okay, Eve, is still a photographer, yes. And Paul is her son, my nephew. He's like 19 now and very attractive. I was up there visiting recently and Eve asked me for some advice. She has had a number of requests to take pictures of people in the nude. So far so good. She has this idea that people might like to do more than just take their clothes off; they might like to do some more erotic kinds of posing. I actually think it is a good idea and so we talked about it." Chris had told him the beginning.
Dr. Beal was already forming a hypothesis as to why Chris was there. He frowned as she went on.
"Oh, Alan..." Chris paused. "Eve asked me if taking pictures of Paul was a good idea. I told her she needed to ask him. Well, he agreed to it." Chris breathed deeply before going on. She wanted him to be erect in the photos so I talked to him encouraging him a bit."

"A bit? What does 'a bit' mean, actually?" Dr. Beal zeroed in on the hole in the fabric. "I can't tell if you are delaying something or avoiding it, Christine." Dr. Beal, only used her formal name when he was impatient or angry. He did not believe in being euphemistic. Tell it straight away he would often instruct his students. 'It's fucking, not copulating,'
"Okay, so, I am attracted to my nephew, sexually. I got turned on watching him masturbate and I encouraged my sister to invite him to pose nude for her photography sessions." There. She had said it.
"Is that all?" Beal pursued.
"I participated, too. I let him feel me up and I..." she was feeling embarrassed, but pressed on. "I peed on the floor and let him watch."
Again, Beal, probed, "Is that all?"
"Well, yes, that's all!" Chris' anxiety was high and she was getting defensive.
"Chris, I am only asking because it seems you are making a lot out of nothing. Okay, you have an attraction to your nephew. He's an adult. His mother is there taking pictures. You haven't fucked him. Why are you so worried about incest?" His flat explanation calmed her. Hearing him repeat it, calmed her.
"Well, I don't want it to get out of hand. And I certainly don't want to hurt him," she confessed.
"It would hurt him if he did not agree fully and freely. It would hurt him if this were done in secret and he had no recourse out of it. But from the way you describe it, this has all been above board. I am not seeing the incest angle. Instead, I think you are arguing with yourself here. Your body is telling you one thing and your defenses are getting in the way."
Chris was relieved to know that she had not crossed that invisible line that exists. Her feelings were complicated. Paul was 18 years younger than she and the relationship, while close was never going to be more than aunt and nephew—with privileges.
Dr. Beal encouraged Chris to talk frankly about what she fantasized and how that might be productive for the photography sessions.
"Well, since you asked, I want to suck his cock. It is magnificent. So hard and so young. He shaves himself and is in very good shape so his cock and balls just stand out when you see them. He gets hard very fast and I can talk him into an orgasm."
"Oh, so, you have some power over him. I suspect you enjoy being able to arouse a younger man. You certainly can arouse an older one." Beal winked at her and kneaded his crotch with is hand. Chris was a fine looking woman with blond hair and nice figure. As she leaned one way or the other, Dr. Beal leaned the other way. He was trying to look down her blouse. She used to be freer with her peeks when she was his student. Back then she did not wear a bra and he had ample chances to see her nipples through the thin material of her tee shirts. Now he had to work a little harder.
"Listen, Chris, you are being too hard on yourself. Tell me about your client load. I wonder if your boundaries are still firm." He also wondered if her tits were.
The rest of the hour revolved around her clients and how she was able to keep herself centered. She even told him about the glory hole she had visited. He reflected her deep feelings of relief but warned her about being safe as well. It's better, he told her to find a committed relationship or at least have some trusted people in her life with whom to work out her kicks.
"Like you?" she asked cutely. "Alan, I owe you so much. I notice that you have been working under duress. Do you want me to take care of that bulge you are getting? It's been a long time since we did research together." Chris looked straight at him. Beal's research was on the masturbatory practices of men and women. He and Chris would watch people masturbate and record their observations. Often they would watch each other, as part of their "research." It is in these sessions that Chris lost all inhibition and was able to be so frank about the human sexual experience.