Choir Recital 01

Choir Recital 01

I sing in the Middleton Choir, so, what? I'm still active for 43.

"[Tap, tap, tap] please slide your credit card through the reader, ma'am. And I'm sorry that your Choir Recital got all messed up with the raging weather [tap, tap tap], but I see already that you're causing a rage of sorts seeing how your choir gown fits you [tap, tap, tap]."

I mean, I slid my credit card through the hotels card reader, so, what?

"I mean, I saw those two guys giggling over here and they are with the choir family, so, what do young adult males giggle about these days anyways, hmm?"

"[Tap, tap, tap] oh, you know, they are young adult males (tap, tap, tap], so the red shirt is scheming to peek your boobs this weekend with a 11pm ice bucket delivery and the blue shirt is going a completely different direction by peeking your boobs with a 10pm ice bucket delivery [tap, tap, tap, tap] this weekend since it's a hotel weekend [tap, tap, tap], push the blue tab for a paper receipt or the green tab for a e-receipt to your phone, ma'am."

I pushed the green tab for a e-receipt, so, what?

"Oh, I mean, I can't let that happen, I mean, I know their families and all, so, that's a no way, right?"

"[Tap, tap, tap] well ma'am [quickly lifts eyes for another peek] they seem of age ma'am and young adult men dream about boobs ma'am [tap, tap, tap] is either of them a nephew or anything [tap, tap, tap], ma'am?"

Well, I mean, at least, um, what?

"Oh, well, the red shirt definitely just turned 20 and the blue shirt is approaching 20, um, this November, I think and um, no, neither are a nephew, so, um, that's good for my hotel profile, right?"

I mean they gamed with my son before, so, what?

"[Tap, tap, tap] tee he, it's your personal profile from a sideview that they like, ma'am [tap, tap, tap] do you have special laundry needs this weekend, ma'am [tap, tap, tap], press the green tab for no, press the blue tab for yes or press the yellow tab if it's a granny panties weekend [tap, tap, tap]."

Well, I'm behind on laundry most of the time, but not this time, so, what? I pressed the green tab.

"[Tap, tap, tap] respect for how tall and proud your choir gown stands, ma'am [tap, tap, tap] and you must really stand out in the crowd of choir singers [tap, tap, tap], but I'm double checking your granny panties laundry issues for the weekend [tap, tap, tap], so?"

Well, she didn't say which color tab to push, so, I peek lifted my choir gown to peek my proof, so, what?

"[Tap, tap, tap] thank you and respect down there too for your body condition [tap, tap, tap], but I've sent a notification to our over priced boutique at the other end of the hotel [tap, tap, tap] for something a little hotel weekend smaller [tap, tap, tap] in the undies area [tap, tap, tap], press the blue tab for a nightly turn down service or the red tab for do not disturb [tap, tap, tap]."

Well, I like a little piece of chocolate on my pillow when I'm a hotel for the weekend, so, what?

"[Tap, tap, tap] I have room 417 available, which is a little more hidden at the end of a hallway for any sneaky after-hours rendezvous with a tad of discretion [tap, tap, tap] or I have room 302 available if you're not shy about opening the hotel room door in your fairly sheer morning teddy to retrieve your complimentary morning coffee service [tap, tap, tap], so?"

Oh. I mean, so, what? You men would be lucky to have a view of my hotel door, so, what?

"Oh, I mean, room 302 and um, wiki update my boutique walk through list, I mean, what color tab should I press for that then, hmm?"

"[Tap, tap, tap] boutique needs wiki dee, wiki doo updated for a sheer morning teddy to wow and amaze some men on your floor, ma'am [tap, tap, tap], press the tan tab and ma'am, [tap, tap, tap] are there any personal grooming needs for your hotel weekend [tap, tap, tap] and ahem, you already lifted your choir gown for me, ma'am [tap, tap, tap]."

Damn! Busted being a little bushy, so, what?

"Um, um, um..."

"[Tap, tap, tap] press the white tab for a first time completely bald shave, ma'am [tap, tap, tap]."

Well, shut it! I'm 43 and I never, so, what? Oh, sorry, I pushed the white tab, so, what?

"[Tap, tap, tap] please review the screen for the pullover shirt I've placed on hold for you in the boutique and press the green tab for your approval, ma'am [tap, tap, tap]."

"That's not a pullover, that's shrink wrap!"

"[Tap, tap, tap] men need their gawking boobs during the dinner hour, ma'am [tap, tap, tap, tap], especially during a hotel weekend or they die [tap, tap, tap]."

Well, tan is my color, so, what? And far be it from me to be responsible for a couple of men dying.

"[Tap, tap, tap] and the dinner skirt, ma'am? Press the tab under each photo to reserve [tap, tap, tap]"

"Whoa, that's a lot of side slit!"

"[Tap, tap, tap] the green tab is slit, the blue tab is side slit and the emerald tab is that's slit up to here, ma'am [tap, tap, tap]"

I meant to push the blue tab and got confused and hit the emerald color tab anyways, so, what? I still have a decent body, so, what?

"I mean, I was just going to wear slacks, but, um, with a skirt like that, I mean, I mean..."

"[Tap, tap, tap] men always figure it out, ma'am. I recommend the center stall of the Ladies room for that [tap, tap, tap] press the yellow tab for pantyhose, the green tab for nylons or the red tab for dinner fishnets, ma'am [tap, tap, tap]"

I mean, so, what? You men like it like that! And I'm a young 43, so.

"Well, wait a minute, Missy, you wiki updated my profile more than you asked me about, so?"

"[Tap, tap, tap] oh, Kayla from the boutique e-mailed me back and said she just in a dinner gown [tap, tap, tap] an undies free dinner gown, ma'am, check it out, it's silvery [tap, tap, tap]."

Well, talk about your full-service hotel then, so, what?

"Oh, and I suppose it's cut down to here then, right?"

"[Tap, tap, tap] do you want the death of a couple of hotel guys deaths on your hands this hotel weekend, ma'am [tap, tap, tap] I just said it, men need their gawking cleavage [tap, tap, tap]."

Well, she did say that and I do have nice boobs for being 43, so, what?

"[Tap, tap, tap] press the brown tab, ma'am, to confirmed that you just side pressed the orange tab on your own for a sexy Peek A Boo bra from the boutique, ma'am [tap, tap, tap], tee he, you're going to make those two shirts pass out, ma'am [tap, tap, tap]"

Excuse me! I just said it! I mean, we both just said it! I know their families and that's not happening! So, what? But hah, if you men were to take a moment to think about something else, I mean, many Peek-A-Boo bras are rather lifting and strap shaping, so, what?

"[Tap, tap, tap] Press the blue tab to transfer your hotel club points to your room account for spending this weekend [tap, tap, tap]."

I pushed the blue tab, so, what? That's why hotels have overpriced boutiques in them, so, what?

"[Tap, tap, tap] you're all set, ma'am. Shall I ding a bellhop for you or {tap, tap, tap] would you rather start the arguing with the red shirt and the blue shirt now [tap, tap, tap, tap], hmm? You might lift their spirits or crush their dreams, ma'am [tap, tap, tap], so, what do you prefer, ma'am?"

"Ugh, give me five minutes to crush their dreams and then ring a bellhop for me and, and, and wiki update my hotel profile to say "fair and with compassion" and, and, and, I mean, I'm 36, so, well, wait that's ridiculous, um, put me down as 38 plus, plus and um, well, I mean [peeks at front desk clerk's nametag], I mean, Darla Darling, just my boobs alone are 33 years older than those two shirts!"

"Yes, ma'am [tap, tap, tap, tap], guest was an early bloomer and still hasn't come to grips with how men like to go all nipple kissy lips no matter the age difference [tap, tap, tap, tap], will there be anything else, ma'am?"

"What? Since when did men go all nipple kissy lips then? In my day, they went all squishy grabby!"

"Yes, ma'am [tap, tap, tap, tap], guest moved under a rock {tap, tap, tap, tap], I believe there are dreams waiting to be crushed, ma'am [tap, tap, tap, tap]."

Well, it's an unauthorized hotel profile, so, what?

"Tee he, hello, Mrs. Grainger!" "Tee he, hello, Mrs. Grainger!"

"Hmph! You boys are being naughty! What if your mothers found out about this, hmm?"

"Tee he, we're just hanging out, Mrs. Grainger!" "Tee he, we're just hanging out, Mrs. Grainger!"

"Hmph! My boobs will not be just hanging out this weekend, boys!"

"Tee he, we're young men now, Mrs. Grainger!" "Tee he, we're young men now, Mrs. Grainger!"

"Hmph! Well, you both can have that one, but get it out of your head that you're both having me in a bed since it's a hotel weekend!"

"Tee he, you said in a bed, Mrs. Grainger!" "Tee he, you said in a bed, Mrs. Grainger!"

Well, those little horn dawgs caught me off guard, so, what?

"Tee he, do you need ice tonight, Mrs. Grainger?" "Tee he, do you need ice tonight, Mrs. Grainger?"

"Hmph! You two little horn..."

"Tee he, you were the cool mom, Mrs. Grainger!" "Tee he, you were the cool mom, Mrs. Grainger!"

"Hmph! Well, according to my wiki updated hotel profile, I'm not presentable in the basement anyways without my personal grooming appointment, so, reel it in guys!"

"Tee he, did we just win, Mrs. Grainger?" "Tee he, did we just win, Mrs. Grainger?"

"Hmph! All I'm saying is that seeing me in my choir gown is all you two little horn dawgs get this hotel weekend and it's a known fact that choir gowns do not accent my butt like it highlights my boobs!"

"Tee he, say that with booty, Mrs. Grainger!" "Tee he, say that with booty, Mrs. Grainger!"

"Hmph! We are done here, so, both of you, just shut it! And it's tie. For now!"

"Tee he, we'll be good, Mrs. Grainger." "Tee he, we'll be good, Mrs. Grainger."

Well, those statements could be interrupted a couple of different ways, right? I mean, we'll behave be good or we'll treat each boob equally good and it's just my boobs that they are after, tee he, right? I mean, absolutely without a "so what", I'm not giving it up! Just because we're away during a hotel weekend. Right?

"Tee he, text us (boing), Mrs. Grainger." "Tee he, text us (boing), Mrs. Grainger."

"OMFG, did the two of you just flex at me?

"Tee he, are you looking, Mrs. Grainger?" "Tee he, are you looking, Mrs. Grainger?"

Well, they are actually shorter than me and I was in choir heels, so, it was legit! So, what?

"[Tap, tap, tap] tee he, did you, tee he, shut the dweebs down, ma'am [tap, tap, tap]?"

"Shut it, Darla Darling from the front desk and ding me a bellhop! And wiki update my hotel profile with how I like midnight sips of wine by the fireplace and that I believe all young men under 22 should be kept in a basement!"

"[Tap, tap, tap] guest might like BDSM chains in a basement once drunk, yes, ma'am [tap, tap, tap, tap] or shall I just say that guest is afraid to let her hair down and her choir gown down, even during a hotel weekend with raging weather and raging boners, ma'am [tap, tap, tap], hmm?"

I'm behind on the times of letting hair down, so, what?

"Well, Darla Darling, I mean, well, I don't know what I mean right now, but I mean, shut it and get me a ding, ding, ding bellhop for my luggage!"

[Ding, ding, ding]

"[Tap, tap, tap] room 302, Mickey and say something nice about ma'am's choir gown [tap, tap, tap]"

"That's a nice color of red, ma'am. And just the right amount of shiny. I'll grab your booty, I mean, I'll grab your bags, ma'am."

Well, the choir gowns are a nice shade of red, so, what?

[Hum, hum, it's such a quiet elevator, hum]

"I mean, I'm not having sex in the Ladies room tonight or anything, so?"

"No ma'am, whatever you say, ma'am, it never happens that way, ma'am."

"Well, I mean, do you date Darla Darling from the front desk then, hmm? She's nice and she is cute, so?"

"No ma'am, we're just a work family, ma'am."

"Well, they're real and all, so?"

Yes ma'am, it's easy to tell that by the shape of your choir gown, ma'am."

[Ding, the elevator doors open]

"Ma'am, this way, ma'am."

"Well, can I view my hotel billing status on the TV like some other hotels then, hmm, bellhop Mickey, hmm?"

"Yes, ma'am, channel 1101, ma'am."

"Oh, and I can view my hotel profile too then, hmm?"

"Yes, ma'am, ma'am, but Darla is a little spirited sometimes, ma'am."

"Well then, what might I expect to see from spirited Darla Darling from the front desk, then, hmm?"

Hah! Men! They always give us the once over look! (And we actually like that, so, what?)

"Ma'am, mm, you might expect to see something like "40 something with 30 something body with man magnet boobs all alone in the hotel for the weekend who went sexy shopping", would be my best guess, ma'am."

Well, there were only so many lines available on the profile, so, what?

"Well, do I still have it, bellhop Mickey? Or am I still hot, hmm? Or warm? I mean, I've been out of the lingo loop for a while, so, I'm not sure how to ask for a man's opinion, so?"

"Ma'am, I just carry and delivery the luggage, ma'am and maybe I check out the guests, ma'am, but I never, ever (tee he) ever cross any lines (tee he), but if you're asking, I would deliver a midnight snack to your hotel room, ma'am."

Oh, if you're asking, I mean, shut it! But he hopped my midnight snack a little early, so shut it! And yeah, yeah, yeah, I heard him mumble "tee he, it works every time", but when you've gone as long as I have without a hard cock of 23, I mean, shut it! But I thought it was odd that the condom he magically had in his over sized bellhop jacket was labelled for the hotel.

"Oh, there you are, Ginny and I'm so happy that you still practiced singing in your hotel room, even though it looks like tonight is a wash out, I mean, we could all hear it from down here in the lobby, tee he."

Um, I'm actually proud about that. I think.

"But we were a little surprised that your personal choir practice singing seemed a little too, um, like gospel rather than a first Fall recital more than a winter gospel holiday recital, but, hey, we all love the man up there, right, Ginny?"

Oh Gawd! Wait, OMG!

"Martha, hush and where did the dweeb and the twerp get off to, hmm? They were sitting right there on the couch that the bellhop is passed out on, so?"

"Tee he, oh, you mean the younger bellhop who probably delivered some young hussy her luggage and had his way with her until he had his fill of her hussy younger pussy and then passed out, hmm? Fucking lucky ass hussy! I mean, ahem, that young man probably puts in a lot of hours and what were we talking about anyways, Ginny? The hussy, ugh, I mean, the boys, who, ahem, are actually young men now and am I still talking?"

"Martha, shush! And um, um, did you pack, um, you know, for any ice bucket deliveries, I mean, I'm just asking because there's this weird thing that I saw on..."

"Oh, on Chang's Desperate & Middled aged, Ginny? I mean, I may or may not have packed a lifting half cup shelf bra and a sheer negligee. And a couple of popsicle sticks and some duct tape because the sag is getting bad and um, am I still talking, tee he because I'd role play a 51 years old hussy in a minute!"

Fine, I internally giggled and chuckled over Martha's popsicle sticks and duct tape comment, so, what?

LMAO

"Hey, you two, yeah, horn dawg dweeb and horn dawg, twerp, I had a private choir practice in my hotel room, so, I'm fulfilled and out now completely, so?"

"Tee he, we're fulfilled too, Mrs. Grainger." "Tee he, we're fulfilled too, Mrs. Grainger."

"Oh, what the hell does that mean then, hmm?"

"Tee he, we're basically 20, Mrs. Grainger." "Tee he, we're basically 20, Mrs. Grainger."

"So, so, what?"

"Tee he, we whack 5 times a day, Mrs. Grainger." "Tee he, we whack 5 times a day, Mrs. Grainger."

"OMFG! Well, I probably could have figured that given the weird sounds I used to hear on game days back in the day. But what did you two little whacky whack horn dawgs use for your whacky, whack material, hmm? The naked statues in the hotel lobby, hmm?"

"Tee he, you're our statue, Mrs. Grainger." "Tee he, you're our statue, Mrs. Grainger."

"Well, I don't even know what that means, but maybe I used to dream about a certain pose, but never mind that right now! But's what's your biggest dream about me then, hmm, horny horn dawgs?"

"Tee he, it's a tie, Mrs. Grainger." "Tee he, it's a tie, Mrs. Grainger."

"Well, that's a man answer if I ever heard one. But if you could choose one for it to splat on, hmm? And we've to far to get shy now, which never mind that I just said that."

"Tee he, your naked booty, Mrs. Grainger." "Tee he, your naked booty, Mrs. Grainger."

"Hmph! But I like that someone can imagine my butt, um, my naked booty in their visions, so?"

"Tee he, we have photos, Mrs. Grainger." "Tee he, we have photos, Mrs. Grainger."

"What? Were two little sneaky horn dawgs in my hotel room 30 minutes ago? That's weird, even for you two little, um, handsome young men, so?"

"Tee he, creep peep photos, Mrs. Grainger." "Tee he, creep peep photos, Mrs. Grainger."

"What? SOB! How did that happen and when and OMG, OMG, OMFG, I knew I didn't have raccoons in the house last year!"

"Tee he, we're sorry, Mrs. Grainger." "Tee he, we're sorry, Mrs. Grainger."

"Hmph! Well?"

"Tee he, we trash soak your booty, Mrs. Grainger." "Tee he, we trash soak your booty, Mrs. Grainger."

"Hmph! Let's stop saying booty so much since I'm 43 guys, 43!"

"Tee he, you got back, Mrs. Grainger." "Tee he, you got back, Mrs. Grainger."

"Hmph! All I can say right now is no pussy, ugh, I mean, no promises! Promises, I said no promises!"

"Tee he, you slipped up, Mrs. Grainger." "Tee he, you slipped up, Mrs. Grainger."

"Well, I still stand behind my final words and stop staring at my boobs! They're older than both of you!

"Tee he, we have nipple kissy lips, Mrs. Grainger." "Tee he, we have nipple kissy lips, Mrs. Grainger."

"OMFG! I'm so behind with the times because now every man has nipple kissy lips for the nip tips! But I'm putting my foot down, for the sixth time and claiming this is all talk and it's not real, so?"

"Tee he, it's a hotel weekend, Mrs. Grainger." "Tee he, it's a hotel weekend, Mrs. Grainger."

Shut it, people! The dweeb and twerp were not winning!

"Tee he, you went silent, Mrs. Grainger." "Tee he, you went silent, Mrs. Grainger."

"Hmph! I can see the wheels turning in your heads and I promise you both, it's just a silly myth that a woman gets down on all four for her two men so they can each have their way with a warm hole, so, forget it!"

Shut it! It's a myth!

"Do you two little horn dawgs plan on switching off afterwards, hmm? Not that I'm committing to answer my hotel room door for a bucket of ice while wearing a negligee, so, you don't even need to answer that question, so?"

"Tee he, Switch-A-Roo, bugaboo, Mrs. Grainger." "Tee he, Switch-A-Roo, bugaboo, Mrs. Grainger."

Well, trust me, I had enough of that conversation, but it was fun to talk sex once again, but that's all that happened, the end.

"(Knock, knock) Ice delivery." "(Knock, knock) Ice delivery."

"Damn, they are early, Marsha, so hurry up with your popsicle sticks and duct tape support system and answer the door! Wait, let me slide down at a natural angle on the couch's arm!"

End Choir Recital 01