Author's Notes:
While this is itself a standalone story, it is also a reflection piece/opposite pov to my entry from last year's National Nude Day Contest-
Naked in a Cave
. I had nearly finished it last year and meant to include it with the original, but depression is a bitch and I was lucky to get out what I did.
For that reason alone, I'm entering it into the contest this year for the extra exposure and do not wish for this piece to qualify for any kind of placement.
For those familiar, I've taken ample liberties, again.
I wasn't looking forward to my first time. Not
this
one, anyway. Not that I was nervous. People are generally anxious their first time. I'd seen enough of them- restless, a bit self-conscious, trying in vain to cover up their more tender bits-and-bobs before simply relaxing into it. I wasn't sure why I was still even going to the
Naked in a Cave
event. My first time going nude and now I was going by myself. I'd already bought the ticket, might as well take the fucking ride. If nothing else the suite I paid for was too nice and too non-refundable to bail on. It wasn't my first nude event, but it would be my first time naked that far underground, over 150 feet down! Still, I
despised
going alone. Even if I did get to go all nakey.
I had moved out here only a few months ago. Leo's turn to visit was coming up, so I was looking for some local spots on the off chance we ever left my bedroom. This touristy cave attraction came up. As I was checking out their website I saw their National Nude Day event. A quick phone call later and the tickets and suite were reserved. Six weeks later and I was single. Me and my timing.... But it was real this time, it was final, this time I had ended it. I just couldn't anymore. I love a good run, but that man had me chasing after him so hard and he never once bothered to look back to see if I was still there.
I guess not everyone bothers to look back.
Heartache always makes me nostalgic. Mostly about Leo. We'd been on and off for years now. He'd get a thing up his bum about this or that and we'd be off for a bit before he missed my stability, loyalty, libido. Lately he missed the excitement of that new touch more. He always had sought that out while we were off. Should have been a bit of a clue for me right there.
What good is ruminating on any of that though? I guess I could spend time remembering some of the other people I let treat me like shit. My mother who used to wait outside the shower to tell me how fat I was getting once I hit puberty. She wasn't the only reason I started running, but her memory always gives me that extra push when I need it. Or there's my old roommate, my first truly close friend, who turned on me as soon as I took an opportunity that didn't directly involve him. He'd gotten hostile, eventually throwing some AA batteries at me one night. When one hit me square in the jaw, I was beyond stunned. Didn't even bother to close my laptop. Just went to my room, shocked, speechless.
I wanted to run down the hall to Aaron and throw myself into his arms. But what was I to him?! Some silly girl that made goo-goo eyes at him. I was so young and naΓ―ve back then. I should have flipped the fuck out on the roommate for being a grade 'A' douchenozzle. Live and learn. And don't put up with dumb shit.
Maybe that's why I'm single.
***
I checked into the suite as soon as I could. I needed to take the edge off before tonight's event. Not like I was a nympho or anything, but three weeks post-breakup, doing
this
alone, I don't know, it's like my gut was trying to tell me something. I just couldn't figure out what.
This place is out in the hills a ways, I don't use any public wifi, and my phone wasn't getting enough service for any kind of porn. It was just my memories and my imagination, both of which I'd been trying to avoid the past few weeks. At least I'd thought to bring along my Hitachi. Bit massive, but definitely worth it.
Leo wasn't popping into my head, thank fuck, but for some reason my old roommate was. I'd never slept with him, never even kissed him. That wasn't a thing for me. I mean, he tried kissing me a few times. Freaked me right the fuck out. Of course he never remembered it when he sobered up. Not that he'd admit to, anyway.
Then
he
popped into my head. Aaron. His eyes.... My Lord that man had the most gorgeous eyes! A deep hazel with green throughout them. I never dared look too long. We were flirty, yeah, but I wasn't about to jump the guy. Not that I wouldn't have, but I wasn't
that
forward. Not back then at least. That's what did it for me, imagining myself fucking Aaron here and now.
I wasn't in a hurry to get over to their organized meet and greet, so I remained for a time, leisurely enjoying my bliss and the daydream I'd crafted. The receptionist had thoroughly briefed me back when I bought the tickets. I knew what to expect. Check in, light refreshments, change into nothing but your sneakers and their souvenir robe, stash your clothes in a provided bag, socialize while waiting for your tour, go down in the cave and lose your robe.
It wasn't much of a walk from the hotel to the topside structure with the cave entrance. I thought about doing it naked, but that was probably frowned upon. Still, I skipped the bra and undies, throwing on some loose yoga pants and a slightly oversized t-shirt. I loathed wearing clothes, undergarments doubly so, though my breast size generally requires some support so as not to appear too terribly lewd in clothed society. Walking around without a bra or panties, amazing isn't a strong enough word. I felt lighter already and for the first time in three weeks a smile felt natural. My orgasm from about an hour ago might have helped too. Nothing quite like that natural release of dopamine.
I practically skipped over to their reception. Walking in to the place, the energy was exactly what I needed. This must have been what my intuition was trying to tell me. That I needed this, this vibe, vigor, vitality! They quickly shooed anyone wearing clothes away to these little closets to change. I was done in less than a minute, slipped my yoga pants over my shoes and tossed off my shirt. Done!
Popping out of the closet, I made a b-line towards the bar area from back the way I'd come. And FUCK ME SIDEWAYS! It was actually him!! At least, I was 80% sure it was him. It'd been about five years, and I could only see him in profile.
"Aaron?!" My voice had taken on a higher pitch than I'd intended, but flipping hell!! Jumping, he turned to face me straight on and I
knew
. His hazel-green eyes, his dark hair... though he no longer had his trademark baseball cap. (I was surprised I missed that thing.) Oh, and his heart warming dimples!
"It is you!" I felt better simply being here, but I still could use a proper hug like no one's business. Especially from him. Likely a pretty damn good reason why I shouldn't hug him, among a few other damn good reasons. I'd already started in for one when those thoughts occurred to me, so with my arms outstretched, about to close in around him, I stopped myself. "Oh, sorry! Does it weird you out to hug when we're nearly naked? Soon to be naked? I mean, these are nice robes and all, but I can see how it could make some people uncomfortable."
For a minute he just gawked at me. I knew it was him, but I was getting nervous that he might not remember me. He seemed to be trying to remember, checking me out. My hair was a bit shorter, but still just as dark, maybe a bit curlier, I didn't wear as much makeup as back then, who does?
Finally, "Yeah... No! I mean, there's nothing weird about it!" As he embraced me all I wanted to do was give him a great big bear hug and squeeze for all I was worth! But then I don't know if my naughty daydream from earlier wouldn't have progressed, and that just, I don't know... he could have squeezed me harder though. When I felt as though we had to let go, I did so remorsefully, but feeling his chubby grow against me sent butterflies to my stomach and I... I couldn't help myself! I looked! Only for the briefest of seconds. But fucking hell, I looked!
"Heeyyy! Eyes up here, Miss!"
I could feel myself blushing.
How
could he have seen that?! I only looked for like half a second! Still, I didn't care in the least that he noticed, not really. I thought I'd never see this man again, never mind his flattering hard on for me. I'd left in such a hurry back then, I never got to say goodbye because of my own foolishness. Now here he was! Though naturally I wasn't about to acknowledge that I'd looked.
"Ooho Miss, huh?! I don't get that as often as I'd like anymore. So... how are you?! I haven't seen you since...."
"Before Thanksgiving break, five years ago. If I would have known you were leaving...." A flash of what looked like actual misery washed over his face. What the hell?!
"I'm sorry I didn't come say goodbye back then. Leaving kinda happened sooner than expected. It was nice though, you, the fun we had together, those weirdly deep conversations, even if it was in passing." We had had some crazy conversations. Some going to 3 AM just outside my door. Why hadn't I ever invited him in? I know why. Because I was scared to death he'd say no, thinking I was implying something more. And maybe I was. But maybe I wasn't. I would have been fine with simply talking longer, in more comfortable seating, but I would have been thrilled with more too.