Caught Pt 18

Broken

Dr. Robins still found it difficult to understand Jon's relationship with Margeaux. It was obvious he felt their romance was largely responsible for the troubles he'd had with women, but she didn't know why. They'd spend a lot of time talking about Margeaux, and Jon kept revealing increasingly strange details.

"You describe Margeaux in very positive terms," Robins said. "You say she tried to be an ideal college girlfriend, and it sounds as though she succeeded. What was the problem?"

Jon looked as sad as Robins had ever seen him. "The way it ended was horrible. That whole time in my life was horrible. For a while, I never wanted to have a committed relationship again."

"Unpack that for me," Robins said.

XXXXXXXXXXXX

As the semesters came and went, Jon grew to enjoy and appreciate Margeaux more and more. She was endlessly thoughtful, attentive, and loving. Considerate. Emotionally open and generous. He'd never thought of himself as someone who would be attracted to a girl with so little intellectual curiosity. Margeaux knew everything about hair, makeup and fashion, and almost nothing else. One day he realized his relationship with Margeaux was like his parent's marriage. His father was a bright, dynamic business leader who knew everything about everything. His mother was a beauty queen who liked to doll herself up and take care of her man.

As a child, Jon was judgmental about the fact that both his parents had romantic partners outside of marriage, and he thought it was particularly strange that his mother loved another woman. It was ironic that he and Margeaux had a relationship that was exactly the same.

Jon and Margeaux regularly said they loved each other, but Margeaux continued to maintain that they would have to go their separate ways after graduation. Increasingly, Jon found this puzzling, and he finally insisted that Margeaux explain her reasons.

"Baby, you know that you're going off to some grad school somewhere, and I'm going to New York to be a model. Our lives are not going to fit together when we aren't students anymore. We will live in completely different worlds. It's not just that we'll live in different parts of the country. Our lives, our goals, the way we spend our time - we'll be like oil and water."

"I will be in grad school for no more than two years," Jon said. "Any time we want, I can get on a jet and be wherever you need me to be. You won't have to spend any time with my friends at all, and I'm sure I can get along with your friends well enough to avoid embarrassing you."

"Of course you can. But there's a bigger problem," Margeaux said.

"I am broken. I've told you this before, but I don't think you really understand.

"Jon, I am very proud of the way I've been such a good person with you. But there are big parts of me I've kept hidden. I never want you to see those parts. I will break your heart." It took some prompting, but Margeaux finally explained the problem.

She'd been horribly abused as a child. Margeaux's mother was a monster.

Both Margeaux's parents had doctoral degrees. Her father was an industrial chemist who worked for a paint company, and her mother was an economist who worked for an insurance company. They had big salaries, a sprawling home, expensive vacations, and fat retirement accounts. They decided to have children because it seemed like the next big possession they should acquire. And thus was born Margeaux. Fortunately, she was an only child, so no one else experienced the trauma that destroyed Margeaux as a person.

Margeaux's mother was the kind of feminist who believed women shouldn't make themselves attractive for men or engage in traditionally feminine activities. Giving birth to a daughter seemed to be an opportunity for her to raise a liberated woman who was free of all the cultural baggage that had hindered women for so long.

But that's not what happened. From birth, Margeaux was a girly girl. She liked playing with baby dolls that had big wardrobes and hair she could style. She liked all things pink. She gravitated to stories about handsome princes, beautiful young women who needed to be rescued, and happily ever after.

Margeaux's mother worked to steer her daughter away from everything that made her the girl she was. She confiscated gifts from relatives who gave Margeaux what she really wanted to own. She made her wear boyish clothes, throwing away anything that looked remotely feminine. She cut Margeaux's hair so short she no longer looked like a girl.

But the cruelest thing her mother did was relentlessly belittle Margeaux's interests. She was still a little girl when she figured out that her mother didn't love her, and didn't even like her. It broke young Margeaux's heart. She felt as rejected as a child could, but her mother didn't care and her father didn't notice. He was a good chemist, but he was also a bit of a dope who consistently missed the growing evidence that Margeaux was desperately unhappy and starved of love.

This went on far too long. Nothing changed until Margeaux was 13. Her mother made one of the cruel comments she made daily. Margeaux snapped. She tackled her mother, forced her to the floor, and used her little fists to beat her face until it was a bloody mess. Everyone had ignored Margeaux's cries for help, but there was no way to ignore this. The hospital social workers contacted juvenile authorities, who removed Margeaux from her home and began an investigation.

The family of one of Margeaux's friends invited her to live with them while things got sorted out. The mother talked with Margeaux long enough to figure out that this poor little girl had been traumatized by a horrible mother. She told authorities that Margueax's mother and father were clearly unfit parents; she offered to adopt Margeaux so she'd have a decent place to live.

All this overwhelmed Margeaux's father, who was completely unprepared for such an unfolding nightmare. The court ordered the family to get counseling, and Margeaux participated, but the sessions shocked her father and the therapist. Margeaux had changed abruptly. She would only refer to her mother as "that cunt." Every sentence included some variation of the word "fuck." And she had very detailed explanations of what she thought about the situation.

Her parents, Margeaux said, shouldn't have been allowed to have children; they should have been spayed and neutered when they were kids. She hoped her mother would get cancer and die soon so Margeaux could go to the funeral and tell all her co-workers and friends what a horrible woman she was. She noted that her mother made the world a worse place everyday because her job was to figure out ways to cheat people out of money they deserved from their insurance policies. (This was, in fact, a fair description of the job. Her father hadn't thought about things that way, but he realized that it was essentially true, and he wondered how Margeaux had been able to figure that out at such a young age, when he'd never understood it at all.)

Her father was "a waste of skin." She said she would never, ever live in the same house as her mother, and that if anyone tried to force her, she'd cut her mother's throat while she slept. The therapist had never encountered a child anything like Margeaux.

She had encountered clients like Margeaux's father. Realizing that he was a bit thick-headed, the therapist used very blunt language to explain that he was the only person in Margeaux's life who could have helped her, and that he'd failed his duty as her father. She said Margeaux was right in insisting that she be kept away from her abusive mother. She recommended that Margeaux not return to the family home unless the mother moved out first, she said she'd urge the court to file child abuse charges against the mother, and she recommended that her father spend the rest of his life trying to provide a decent environment for his traumatized daughter. She also recommended that the father remain in family counseling for the long term, because it was clear that he just didn't know how to be a father, and he needed someone to explain that to him on an ongoing basis.

Margeaux's mother was told the court wouldn't file abuse charges if she agreed to a divorce that granted full custody to the father, had her pay significant child support, and prohibited any contact with Margeaux.

Margeaux unleashed quite a whirlwind when she put her mother in the hospital.

Mother, father and daughter were told that they shouldn't expect Margeaux to ever "get over" her trauma. A person who suffers trauma never really recovers. Instead, trauma turns them into a different kind of person, and their life revolves around finding ways to live with the trauma.

Margeaux turned into the kind of teenager who understands that people suck. She embraced all the feminine qualities her mother scorned, and she learned how to act to make people do whatever she wanted. She learned early that people who are beautiful get better treatment, so she did everything possible to make herself beautiful. Margeaux asked her father for breast implants, rhinoplasty and lip plumping as a high school graduation present. He agreed without an argument.

"You think I'm a nice person," Margeaux told Jon. "I am a good actress who knows how to play the role of a nice person. I know how to play the role of a good college girlfriend. I care for you. I love you. But I've got a monster inside me. I keep him in a cage when you're around, but you don't want to be anywhere near me when that cage breaks open."

When Margeaux got to the end of this story, she began crying inconsolably, and she kept crying for a long time. It was, of course, shocking. But Jon realized that it made some sense. It explained things about her. She was sometimes calculating and forceful in getting what she wanted. Her successful effort to trap Andrew Lodge and send him to prison for rape happened because she knew what it was like being a victim, and she knew how to fight back.

Jon thought about it. A few days later he told Margeaux that he wasn't afraid of monsters in cages. "You underestimate me," he said. "You don't have to pretend to be someone else around me. I'm perfectly happy to have you just the way you are."

"You're adorable," Margeaux said. That's what she always said when she thought he didn't know what he was talking about.

It wasn't long before the cage opened and Jon saw the monster for the first and only time.

Their final semester had just started when Jon got word that his grandmother died. He flew home for the funeral, so he wasn't available to escort Margeaux to a campus event for students and their parents. Margeaux's sorority helped organize the event, most of her friends were there, so she thought it would be a pleasant way to spend an afternoon.

It became more than that.

As always, Margeaux was the best looking person in the room. She wore stylish clothes. Her hair and makeup were perfect. She'd perfected the art of carrying herself like a model on a runway.

The father of a student complimented her. "You look like a model," he said.

"I hope to be one someday soon," she said.

She noticed that he was also dressed in stylish designer clothes, and he was handsome for a man his age. "That's interesting," he said. "I work in the fashion industry."

It turned out that he was a big player in fashion, with ties to modeling agencies, designers, editors, photographers, manufacturers, and every other segment of the business. Margeaux could tell immediately that he knew much more than she did about the industry.

He told her that he never encouraged men or women to try to become models, because the business was so risky and failure was so common. Still, he said, Margeaux seemed to give off the kind of vibe that successful models possessed. If she wanted to try it, she certainly might do well.

The conversation got flirty. Margeaux had never felt any attraction to a man his age, but they liked each other, and she enjoyed talking with someone who shared so many of her interests. She loved Jon, but she could never share his interests in things like French monarchs and The Enlightenment. The man suggested getting cocktails, and she said she knew the perfect place. And it was perfect. She'd gone there with Jon, and she knew it had the kind of fashionable elegance the man would like.

They had a drink, then they had two, and the conversation became comfortable and intimate very quickly. They did nothing to conceal their mutual attraction. He never propositioned Margeaux. He never said anything crude or clumsy. But he gave her his business card and suggested she call him when she moved to New York City. Maybe he could help her.

Margeaux went back to her sorority, thinking about all kinds of things. He'd mentioned that his girlfriend left him more than a year ago, and that he still felt lonely. She tried to stop thinking about it, but she couldn't. She called his hotel, asked if she could come over, and got an oversize purse big enough for fresh underwear, her toothbrush, and extra makeup. She fucked him, hoping it would lead to an offer to drop everything and come back to the city with him.

She'd moved out before Jon got back to campus. Margeaux called so he didn't find out she'd gone before she had a chance to explain. "I'm sorry to leave like this. You deserve better," she said. Margeaux wasn't coy about what happened; she acknowledged that she was entering into a transactional relationship, where she agreed to be a live-in girlfriend and he agreed to make her a model. She worried that Jon might be so hurt that he'd say mean things that happened to be true. But that wasn't the kind of man Jon had become.

"I know how much this means to you," he said. "I hope everything goes your way."

It did. Margeaux's new "boyfriend" was thrilled. He's slept with plenty of models in exchange for helping their careers. But that hadn't happened in a few years, and he'd never had a girl as young and sexy as Margeaux. He wanted to keep her in his bed, so he worked hard for her. He used his influence to get a top agency to sign Margeaux, and he repeatedly made sure that she was hired for top jobs. She worked with the best photographers, designers, make up and hair artists, and magazines.

It helped that Margeaux was good. Soon, she was one of the busiest models in New York City, eventually becoming so popular that she no longer needed any help to remain successful. She knew she'd leave her new lover someday, but he'd helped her so much she stayed on longer than necessary. They went to parties, made friends with others in the industry, and made love as often as her boyfriend wanted. He was twice her age, so it wasn't as often as she would have liked, so Margeaux spent a lot of time using her vibrator.

The lack of frequency didn't bother her too much because Margeaux's new man wasn't a very exciting lover anyway. She'd been with Jon so long she'd forgotten that most men weren't that good in bed. On a scale from one to ten, with Jon being a nine, Margeaux's new man was a three. On a good night. She fantasized about Jon when she used her vibrator.

Jon's world felt unreal when he returned to campus. The unexpected death of his beloved grandmother was the saddest thing he'd ever experienced. It was the first time he'd gone to a funeral and seen someone he loved lying dead in a casket. He already felt like he'd been knocked off his feet when Margeaux told him she was gone. He'd been trying unsuccessfully to convince her to remain in a relationship after graduation, even offering to buy a nice condo in New York City where she could live as she started her new career. She'd refused, insisting that remaining together would only delay the time when, inevitably, she would break his heart.

He hadn't believed her. He believed her now.

Jon was sitting in his room, staring at the wall, when someone knocked. It was Brenda. She carried an overnight bag. "You must feel terrible," she said, hugging him.

"I've been better," he said.

Brenda gently removed his clothes, took him to bed, and began to make love. It took a lot more sucking than usual to make Jon hard. Brenda put her breasts above his face, slipping one nipple, then the other, between his lips. "I want to make you feel good," she said.

It worked. Jon slowly became very aroused, taking Brenda in his arms and doing the things he knew she loved. He was touched by her kindness. The minute she heard that Margeaux left Jon in such an abrupt and unexpected way, Brenda decided she would go and comfort him. They'd made love a lot over the last few semesters, and they'd become very fond of each other in bed and out. Jon didn't know this, but he'd become a source of irritation for Brenda's actual boyfriend.

She began demanding that he start eating her pussy, fucking her ass, and delaying his own orgasm until after Brenda came at least once. She demanded that he pay more attention to her clitoris. Brenda never gave a hint that she'd learned about these things from Jon, but her boyfriend was smart enough to realize that Brenda insisted on having an open relationship because she'd found a man who pleased her more. When he apologized for being unfaithful and asked that they become exclusive again, Brenda said she didn't believe she could ever trust him. That was true. But it was also true that Brenda liked being Jon's occasional lover, and she wasn't willing to give him up. He was a genuinely nice guy who happened to know what women wanted from a man.

Brenda knew that Jon was particularly fond of the cowgirl position because it gave him such a nice view of her nude body as she squirmed around on top. She straddled his body, lowered her pussy onto his cock, then sat up so he could get a good, long look. The expression on his face was wonderful. For the first time since she'd entered the room, Jon didn't look sad.

The thing Brenda liked most about the cowgirl position was that it gave her so much control because she could rub her clit against him as fast and hard as she liked. But this time, she moved slowly, gently, and lovingly. This time, Jon's pleasure would be more important than hers.

His hands began roaming all over Brenda's body. She leaned forward a little so he could reach every part of her breasts. He stroked the side of her face, and she bent down to kiss him.

Brenda was trying to make Jon cum first, but he wouldn't do it. He made her cum instead. She collapsed on his chest and giggled. "Nobody makes me cum better than you," she said. "You are the best lover I've ever had."

Brenda had been using her body to make Jon feel better, but her words did the job even better. They kissed passionately for a long time before Jon rolled over on his side. He positioned Brenda so her back was toward him. She felt a thrill because she knew what was coming. Jon placed the head of his cock against her ass and gently pressed until the head was inside.

It had been awhile since Brenda made love this way. It had been long enough that she'd forgotten how good it felt to have a nice hard cock move slowly in and out of her bottom.

She wasn't able to keep focusing on her goal of making Jon's pleasure more important than her own. He knew exactly how to give her the sensations she loved most, and she couldn't resist the feeling of being under his control. He reached over her body so he could massage her clit, and she spread her knees apart to give him the room to feel her wherever he wanted. Unlike the man Brenda considered to be her boyfriend, Jon knew exactly where to find her clit, and how to make it feel good. Brenda had cum once, but she knew it wouldn't be long until she came again.

"Cum in my ass, Jon," she said. "You know I love it when you cum in my ass."

Jon did know, and that had been his plan all along. He liked Brenda a lot. He liked the sensual, languid way she made love. Jon didn't know that her boyfriend was such a dud in bed. All he knew was that Brenda always responded to his touch in the sexiest, most exciting ways possible. She was becoming so excited that he knew she'd cum soon, so he stopped trying to hold back and let himself cum. Brenda gasped when she felt his cock begin throbbing and filling her ass with one load of cum after another. It made her orgasm stronger. The muscles in her ass clenched Jon's cock so hard he had to work to keep from being forced out of her body. But he was ready. He'd become familiar with the way Brenda responded to him.