Catherine Ch 41

l live for the moment when I hear that whimper in her throat with our very first deep kiss. Her breathing getting heavier, catching in her throat with each gentle caress, touch, stroke, of her sensitive places, I wait for those words she will not speak..., yet.

Confessions, What Happened In Vegas

From outside it's the sound of a car horn, and the alarm clock displaying 5:30 AM.

Both reminding me I've been awake most of the night. And much of that time wondering why Catherine wouldn't, or couldn't tell me over the phone was most of what kept me awake. And along with it, was a decision I have to make later this morning.

So then Swaggart, up and at it, the coffee maker first, then to the front window to see the Sunday paper laying at the entrance to the driveway; the reason for the car horn letting me know he missed the mail box again.

And now with a fresh cup of coffee in hand along with the TV on to hear --- clear, warm, no chance of rain they say; so then, another fine day for a motorcycle ride. But along with that is my apprehension over what she has to say; the second ball in the air. The first one being, which of the forms I'll be filling out.

Shaved, the last swallow of coffee from the cup sitting on the vanity. "You know Swaggart, you're still a stud!" Sally was saying, as she stood right here next to me two weekends ago; with her head against my shoulder, her arm around my waist. And Ryan too, nodding her head in agreement with what Sally had said. But with Ryan, it was also her sharp smack to my bare ass cheek for emphasis. What a day, what a night, what a weekend. It was one of my all time, OMG, fantasies fulfilled!

But now it's toothbrush, mouthwash, and be careful with my speed this morning. I've heard too much mouthwash makes cops suspicious if they pull you over,

And today it will be 'civies' instead of the usual BDU's when I go on base for military business. And the reason for that this morning is the paperwork I'll be filling out and dropping off in the CO's office. To be followed by his wanting to see me.

The Harley, the gas tank I filled before I got home last evening, no need to stop for it this morning. So finishing the second half of a toasted and buttered raisin English muffin and the last swigs of coffee too. Then it's one last check that everything that should be off is off before getting the Harley out of the garage and on my way to the base.

Six thirty is when I pull up to the gate to show my ID to the MP who comments, "Nice day for a ride Sarge," he's telling me. "I'll let you know if it was the next time you see me," replying. as he handed me back my ID case.

"What was that, Sarge?" Is all I heard before the sound of the bike drowned out whatever else he may have said.

The office complex is where I have a desk, a computer, one filing cabinet, and a phone is just like every other ranking NCO that shares this room. And as usual it takes time to find the forms I need because they've been misfiled --- always the way, when you want to get something done and over with.

But it takes me less than twenty minutes to accomplish what I need to do; including rereading them to make sure I have everything filled in. Then sitting back to stare at them a few minutes longer thinking; do I really want to do this?

Yeah... at last, sitting up to sign them, Then into the manila envelope addressed to the CO, then down the hall to his office where it's placed on his desk. Also where I remain for just a minute more staring down at the envelope lying there thinking --- once again Swaggart, are you sure? A deep breath followed by; yes I'm sure. Then back down the hall and out the door and over to where I parked the bike.

And with the kickstand up it's a turn of the key, squeeze in the clutch, the switch to run followed by a thumb to the starter button brings the bike to life. Then stepping on the shifter puts the bike in gear, followed by feeding a little throttle, the clutch slowly out, begins my slow cruise out of the parking lot.

But riding along with me on this beautiful Sunday morning are those ten long weeks of not knowing what's happened with her in all that time. Plus what I placed on the C,O's desk. That too, I struggled with for months longer and now what's laying on Colonel Larson's desk I'll know if I made the right decision after talking with him.

And it's taken me almost an hour to reach her mother's house; where I know I've passed it on many other rides up this way. And, I may have even looked at it as I rode on by, never imagining I would be stopping there one day. But today it's slowing down to make the turn into the driveway of 1604 Reservoir Road to slowly make my way over and around the driveway where I park in front of a two car garage.

Looking around as I shut off the bike at what I see of a large two story colonial style house, with its covered porch across the front. Along with a covered walkway connecting the house to the garage.

"Oh.., Hell!"

Unconsciously coming out loud. Because from the back of the house it's seeing her coming towards me that has my heart pounding away watching her getting closer with every step she takes.

But what stands out about her... it's the shorter hair style along with what she's wearing --- a light colored skirt and matching jacket. Her shirt, darker in color; several buttons down from the neckline purposely left undone in the warmth of the mid morning sun. And of course the matching heels.

But damn, why the shorter hair?! And why would she be dressed like this; something she may wear to the office, but why on a Sunday morning? All of it complemented with that heart stopping smile!

And all along with me, trying to force the lump further down in my throat as she makes her way closer and closer until only feet away, where it's her, "What took you so long!?" She asked.

"The traffic was a bear, but why the shorter hair, and why are you dressed for work?" Is my reply.

"The hair," she says. "I thought I needed a new look. And the clothes; I had to um... go someplace to say thank you," she's telling me.

"Ah... anyone or anywhere I would know of?" Asking her.

"Absolutely not!" Her words dinging me. "Because there's already a seat reserved for you where it's much hotter!" She tells me. "Now get off that damn thing so I can kiss you!" She orders.

And with the bike shut off before I saw her walking towards me, and with the kickstand taking the weight it doesn't need me on it anymore.

But just as I'm off; my helmet still in hand, she slams into me with a kiss she greets me with that almost physically hurts.

Then suddenly backing away, "I was so afraid you'd change your mind and wouldn't come," she says. "And the blame for that would certainly be mine." she follows with.

But all that went in one ear and right out the other because of how good it feels to be holding her again. My hands inside her jacket feeling the warmth of her beautiful body, the taste of her mouth, the scent of her cologne; even the smell of her hair, chasing away my thoughts of never holding her like this again.

"Hello," she says, breaking from another long kiss.

"Hello to you too." replying, both looking into each other's faces, silly grins from ear to ear --- fool am I? And that lump in my throat now settled a little further down inside my stomach.

"I have missed you," she says.

"I was hoping you'd say that but why then.., Catherine?"

"Bobby, that's exactly why you're here," she's telling me, "Because this was the time and a place; safe ground my silly thought, on which to tell you," she follows up.

"Safe ground, Catherine!?" What do you mean by, 'safe ground? You know I would never harm you. But I am hurt, and yeah I'll admit, I was damn angry too! Because, I didn't deserve to be, what I thought, kicked to the curb, over something I bent over backward trying to apologize for."

"Bobby, for that I'm very, very sorry!" She's telling me." But the truth Bob is, you scared me. I had never seen you like that, plus in the way you dressed down Tina Shwartz! Also how you talked to me I thought; putting me down and not just on the floor." She says. "That's when I realized maybe I really didn't know you and it shook me. And seeing that other side of you is what gave me, in my mind anyway; what I needed to... let you out of my life."

"Catherine at least Sally had the courtesy of a phone call to tell me she... wasn't coming back. Along with thirty days later the divorce papers were delivered; which I had to sign for."

"But with you --- two and half months later when accidentally meeting Sarah along with her telling me you were hurting? Also with her threatening me with bodily disfigurements?"

That last, has me turning my head away, trying not to laugh. But shit Swaggart, there's no way you can remain angry with her.

"It was totally by accident, Sarah meeting you." Catherine is now telling me.

"Sarah, and her call to me about meeting you, where she was telling me how hurt, along with the anger you felt towards me. It's when I realized it wasn't what I had wanted all those weeks ago and that I really wanted; you! No, I need you back in my life." She tells me.

"So Bobby, that's why you're here, and to hear my apology. And maybe some other things, you may not want to hear that I thought I would never do like what I did. Which was a very foolish way of trying to keep you out of my mind. Which may change your mind about wanting to stay." She tells me.

And with that she takes my hand and leads me towards the back of the house and down to a roofed over patio and where a table is set with two coffee cups, a thermal coffee carafe along with the sugar and creamer set.

"Please sit there," she tells me, motioning to the chair where she wants me to sit.

Also where she begins filling two cups of coffee and places one in front of me and one on the opposite side of the table where she sits down to face me.

But now I'm not so sure I want to hear whatever it is she's going to tell me; mostly because of what I think it will be. But after that greeting; whatever they are may sit easier.

Looking over at me, "Are you ready?" She asked.

"I suppose, so, fire away." Telling her.

But there she sits, looking at me without anything other than what was said when we first sat down. The time ticking by until it's me with, "Catherine..."

Hearing her name; getting her attention.

"Sorry, I ah... thought I had everything straight in my head of the, how, what and why of the last two and half months," she says. But now that you're sitting across from me it's, how to start."

Setting my coffee cup down asking, "How about starting with that phone call when you told me you would be going to Las Vegas with Jon for some 'tecki' convention he goes to every year you said. Then you both would be staying over for a, "get away vacation," you were telling me.

"Also the head cold you may have caught from Neil when you were in San Diego." Telling her.

"I said that?" Getting the cold from Neil!?" She interjects. astonishment written on her face at what I just told her.

"Yes, Catherine. which I thought at the time, was your. 'slip of the tongue,' telling her. "Your, stuffy head along with the cold decongestants you were taking, possibly why you don't remember mentioning Neil." Telling her.

"OH...," she says, followed by a deep sigh and her; "Yeah..."

"IIG, I've told you," she begins, "has a large client base out there and that's the reason for being out that way again --- the usual meet and greet, questions and answer sessions. Neil met me at the airport, I called him to let him know I would be out there for a few days. That's when he asked as always his invitation; Bobby, that time I stayed with him in his apartment" She tells me.

"I've never done that any other times I was out there or with James either. Who's often asked me to stay at his apartment in George Town those times I'm in D.C. It's where he lives during the week and where he goes home during the weekends. James, owns a thoroughbred horse breeding farm in Fairfax, Virginia." She tells me.

"And Neil, it's like it's been with Richard, except for this last time; I like him a lot; as you can guess by what I just told you." She says.

"Also like Richard, he's a heck of a lot of fun! So everything you know about Richard has been pretty much the same with Neil; the emotions being the same too because, I really like him a lot!" She says. "And, that's only a start to what you may not want to hear. So then, do you want me to continue?" She asks, staring at me from her chair on the opposite side of the table;. "They're not as tame as that." She's followed up.

That was about as straightforward as I've heard from her about any of her male friends.

"If that's what it is, Catherine. then that's what it is," telling her.

"But I can tell you a few things too, Catherine. But, how about some breakfast first?" asking her "You know, juicy stories always go down better with food! Like me, having one of my wildest desires fulfilled; the number one of having Sally and Ryan in the same bed at the same time. It's when I thought I had died and gone to heaven. And that's not all; two other close friends were over to the house a few times; Jennifer and her husband, Alex. There's a few things with those two you might find surprising. Also Carly; especially a night in the front seat of my truck on a rainy night of my class at the college. You remember us... and your vibrator? Except with Carly that time it was her, getting completely out of what she had on and me pretty much the same too!" Laying it all out to Catherine.

"Damn it Swaggart, nothing I just said touched you?!" She comes back at me.

"Especially what I just told you about staying three nights... with Neil in his apartment!" She follows up.

"What did you expect from me, Catherine!? Lady, I've been hit by harder things than anything you could throw at me; even if you were to tell me right now to leave!"

"Damn IT.. Swaggart! Don't you dare, think about doing that!" She says, her chest and shoulders rising and falling; deep breaths, trying to calm herself down?

"Breakfast Swaggart,..," she says. "Will have to wait because what's next can't!" She says.

"Okay... I guess that the toasted English muffin I had will have to hold me a little longer."

"Bobby... this is the easiest of the parts of what I'm going to tell you," she says.

"The day after the convention closed, Jon and I were having dinner at a table in one of the hotel's private dining rooms. Up until then, the trip and the stay had gone very well; along with some other things that were yet to come, namely with me. But those, I'll hold off for later." she says.

"Jon's form of relaxation has always been his golf and tennis; I think I've told you. Plus, he dabbles in poker, most of the time with that, it's with his father and brothers and occasionally, a couple of family friends and business associates. But Jon, when he's seriously gambled, it's been Texas Hold-em. He sees it as a challenge for his mathematical, analytical mind. And, he's pretty damn good at it too! In fact, his past poker winnings paid for that extravagant trip." She tells me.

"But with just his father and brothers it's only for nickels and dimes. Where even that pisses off his father who wants to win at everything!" She's telling me.

Which brings to my mind what Jon's father tried to win by force with Catherine.

"Dinner is over and we're sitting there enjoying our last glass of wine when Jon suddenly says, "I have something I need to tell you, Catherine." But then it's his,

"No, I have something I need to confess to you," He's telling me.``

"Of course I asked him what he would need to confess; thinking it was something trivial. Then suddenly thinking, "You're not sick, are you?!" Asking him.

"No, Catherine," he says, " I'm perfectly healthy."

"Thank you, I told him, relieved after hearing that."

"Is it something with the business; is what I asked next?"

"No,'' he says. "It's not anything you might be thinking. Everything is fine except for one thing." He says.

"Well, if it's not any of the other then what is it?" I asked.

"But as I'm waiting for Jon to go on is when all these other thoughts begin running through my mind when, all of sudden; Oh My God; he knows everything!? But Jon, who always thinks before he answers any probing question and this is when he looks at me saying, "I'm gay... I'm gay Catherine, he repeated."

"Bobby, I sat there staring back at him not knowing what to say. Then for some reason I wasn't as shocked as I thought I should be by his admission. And especially surprised he made it that time and place to tell me. But then, as we're sitting there, everything suddenly starts to make sense!"

"And this is where he's saying, 'I'm sorry, Catherine!' Breaking into my thoughts"

"But then it was the reality of what he just said hit me --- You poor man! How you must feel right now. And my heart breaks for him. I've never seen Jon look so sunken and lost. He's always in control, always confident and sure of himself."

"But there he sits, looking at me like a lost soul. Along with my thought of how long has this man been carrying his secret around with him? He must have been scared to death; afraid someone would discover it and ruin his life."

"Plus I'm sure he was more afraid of his father finding out then he was about telling me. His father the, "all powerful" and successful business man, always getting his way, power broker, His father, mister macho, in every sense of the word, finding out his oldest son was gay --- My God I thought!" She says.

"Looks like you have even a greater reason to dislike his father." Telling her.

"I hate his guts," she says. "And not just for that other reason too."

"Then this barrage of thoughts began running through my head until I finally asked Jon, "How long have you...?"

"Where he says, "I've always been that way. It's just the way I am." He said.

"I can understand that," I told him, "Then why marry me?" And this is where he tells me, "His father and mother have constantly pressured him into finding a nice woman and getting married. They wanted his grandchildren just like with his other two brothers."

"I sat there Bob, hating his father more and more and feeling so sorry for Jon. I have no idea how he handled their constant pressure, especially after we had been married so long and had no children. Jon, of course knowing too, I couldn't conceive in the usual way due to my tubes being constricted the way they are; which you also know." She says.

"Then Jon tells me, "If you want a divorce I won't contest it and give you anything you want and for what reason we both can tell everyone. But, I wish you wouldn't until my mother and father have passed on." He said.

"His father and mother are well into their seventies and longevity doesn't run in their family," Catherine tells me.

"I thought that was a bit mercenary," Catherine says "But I understood his reason and of course I didn't blame him. But I had the same thought too. Along with needing another glass of wine, and which I was able to flag down our waiter." She's telling me.

And where it seems Catherine's is waiting on me to say something; her silence now. But I don't know what to do myself --- back flips, jump up and down, or go running and screaming like a banshee down through her mothers backyard doing cartwheels. And it's not just knowing she'll be, 'free-er' but still, not technically free. And with that, is her head full of the same thoughts as I just had? If so, where does this leave me; us? And what is it that happens now?

"That must have taken a lot of courage on his part." telling Catherine. "I'll give him a large dose of credit and courage for that. But as for you; my God girl, you handled that with sensitivity and grace. You are a jewel!" telling her.