Catherine

I live for the moment I hear that catch in her throat with our first kiss. Her breathing getting heavier with each tender touch, and caress of her sensitive places, I wait for those three words she will not say..., yet.

Catherine Chapter 11

Picking Up Where We Left Off

Drinking coffee, eating over nuked Chinese left overs, thumbing through the book that came today here on kitchen island, when the front door bell chimes gets me looking at my watch wondering who could that be?

Every one I know calls first because they've forgot which night I have school. Or maybe it's some officer standing there handing me orders that I'm off to who knows, 'where-the-fuck-a-stan,' this time.

But on opening the inside door to see who - damn! It's heaven who's standing on the landing.

Opening the door, "Hello, what are you doing here?"

"Hello..., I ah..."

"Would you like to come in," asking her.

"May I?"

"Of course you can!" Opening the door further to let her inside.

With that its her stepping across in front of me where I catch the sweet scent of her Cologne that I've loved from the very day she stood behind me on that train.

But now with her inside, it's to a awkward moment until, "Can I take your coat?"

"Yes..., if you don't mind," she says.

"Catherine..., of course I don't mind!"

With that she removes her gloves, unbuttons her coat, but before taking it off she puts the cloves in a coat pocket. Followed by her scarf from around her neck, where she stuffs that into a coat sleeve.

"How did you find me," asking as she hands me her coat.

"Well, I just used the instructions you sent me..., remember?"

"Oh..., right..., okay," in reply.

"Plus, I just entered your address into my cars GPS, and followed it right to your drive way." Which gets both of us laughing, breaking the tension.

"Catherine..., I was ah, just having a cup of coffee, would like some or..., something else?"

"Yes, and thank you for asking."

"But first I have to tell you, I don't have any wine Catherine, but I do have tea."

"A cup of tea would be nice," she says.

"And would it be alright if I first place your coat in the hall closet?" To a nod of my head in the direction of the hallway where the closet located..

"That's okay too," she says.

"This is a very nice room!" As she's looking around now. "I like the openness, and country look, and feel of it; kind of like my mother's house." She's telling me as she steps further into the room taking in more of the space.

"Thank you, its the way Sally, and I wanted it to feel. Sally's grand mother Alice, the house she lives in, has the same feel; it's a farm house. At one time it was just farm country around it."

"A farm house - farm country, sounds appropriate," she says, looking at me.

"Yeah..., sure..., what else, huh?" Laughing at myself.

"But this took a lot of time, and work to get it this way Catherine. Because this space wasn't as open as it is when we moved in. In fact, that door you just came in had a wall separating that entrance from what used be a living room on the other side. And this area we're standing in, was a formal dining room, where we took that wall down combining the rooms, which really opened up this space."

"I like that you did it! I also like those open beams too." Where she's looking up to where a ceiling use to be.

"Yes that was another big project too Catherine. We pulled the ceiling down, because when I was up in what was the attic, checking things out while we were going through the house, looking over everything before signing the purchase papers. Where I realized all those beautiful wood beams were hidden above that ceiling," telling her.

"Also going over the house I realized, and I'm certainly not a construction engineer, but this place was way over built. I think it could survive an F-5 tornado."

"Really," she says..., like, really? Sounding skeptical.

"So opening things up wasn't going to be a big problem. An oh..., did we open it up Catherine! Walls came down all over the place, we piratically gutted it, except where structural limits prevented it." Telling her all that as I lead her towards the kitchen.

"I love your fire place too!" Where she's looking across the room at it.. "Oh, and you have a pot belly stove too I see."

"The fire place Catherine, we didn't have to do anything to it except have it cleaned, and inspected. The pot belly was already here too. But we didn't it use it much once Erin came along - we were afraid she might touch the hot metal. But I've had a fire in it a few times since..., um, since Sally, and I..., but.., the fire place..., I've used that more often." Stumbling over some sudden memories of Sally, and me.

"Yes, I also like a fire place.., especially this time of year." Catherine expressing my feelings too.

"Oh, I see you have a piano, who plays," she ask.

"The piano Catherine, we bought that at a estate sale - Sally plays piano; she's very, very good too! Sally, who took lessons for years, starting when she was four; I think she told me, and she's been teaching Erin - the little twerp is pretty good herself! Sally's grandmother has one in her house in Virginia, so Sally's been able to keep up with Erin's piano lessons."

"Ah... there's kind of funny story with that Catherine, because I use to sit with Erin when she practiced, pretending she was teaching me. An when I messed up she would say, 'Daddy, that's not how it goes! It's like this.' Then Erin would take my hand, and place it on the right keys, where we would start over. An of course, I would mess up again, usually on purpose, just to keep her attention, mostly. After doing that a few times Catherine, Erin one time called out to her mother, 'Mommy, daddy's messing up on purpose again.' Where Sally came back telling me, 'Bob, stop teasing your daughter, or I'll send you to your room for a time out!' Only that time I told Sally; Only if you're going with me!"

"Funny that time I said it Catherine, Erin said to me, 'So you and mommy can play' - "What did she call it..., 'two doggies playing,' I think."

"Oh my God Bob! She said that?" Catherine shocked at what I was telling her.

"Yes she did! You see Catherine, Erin walked in on Sally, and me; Erin was supposed to be taking a nap, an ah..., you can imagine why she called it that. Where Sally had a little talk with Erin about closed doors an knocking first, then waiting to be invited in."

"Oh My God Bobby that's funny!" Catherine laughing with it. "I'll have to tell you about something similar happening to me," she says.

Is she hinting at something I'd be very interested in hearing - of course; waiting for her to go on. But Catherine hasn't offered more with her hint about it.

"Catherine, Erin correcting my mistakes, I think helped her too. An Erin's plays recitals now. In fact I got a email from Sally while I was away on this last reserve weekend telling me to expect an invitation to Erin's next recital in a few weeks - that invitation was in the mail today. So I'll be going back to Virginia for that."

"That's great Bobby! So do you still play after taking your daughters lessons," she ask.

"Well Catherine..., I can play some..., but it's only noise. Do you?" Asking her now.

"Yes I do, but not so much now. I've been too busy with other things - like work mostly," she says.

"My mother insisted my sister and I learn to play; mom still does. But Jon is the real piano player, and he, is very good! Jon could have been a concert pianist if he had wanted to - music and engineering going hand in hand - the complexity of classical music is like mathematical equations to him."

Catherine, saying that about Jon, giving me some insight into her husband. But leaving out any further comments about Jon, Catherine follows me into the kitchen.

"Oh yes! I like this kitchen a lot too! Again, a nice open country feel to it." Where she's looking around as she said it.

"This wasn't as big as it is now either," telling her. Over there Catherine, was another wall with a door into what was used as a pantry, store room, and laundry. We took the wall down which opened this up like it is now, where we turned that old room into a semi formal dining area."

"Then Sally went crazy with the kitchen! Every thing came in brand new, appliances, cabinets, tile floor, the island, that breakfast nook, new paint - a complete kitchen remodel." Saying all that as I'm looking around at it all myself.

"Plus we opened that wall too!" Now pointing to the French doors, and the big window by the nook. "The view Catherine, for anyone sitting there is great for critter watching, sun sets, as well keeping an eye on your daughter who's playing outside too."

"I like it! So whats out side those French doors?" Where she walks over to peer at what's outside.

"It's a deck Catherine. Which runs the full length of the back of the house. The end of the deck where it meets the back of the garage, is where we installed the hot tub - a little to cool to be using it now."

"I would think so! It sure is cold!" Her agreeing with me.

"Now I'll put your coat in the closet Catherine, then get your tea."

"Is it alright if I set my purse on this counter right here?" She's asking just before I leave to put her coat in the closet, where I look to see where she means.

"Of course it is Catherine..., anywhere is fine."

With that she takes her dark suit jacket off, and hangs it on the back of a bar chair next to the island. Seeing that thinking, if she's taking off her jacket, I guess she wants to stay out of the cold. Where it's down the hall to put her coat in the closet.

But on returning to the kitchen is when I see her looking through the book I left open on the island top.

"Were you reading this," she ask. An not waiting for my answer as she's picking it up to look at the cover. "It looks and..., also smells old!" As she's holding the book closer to her nose.

"Yes it is Catherine! I've been trying to find it for months because every place I contacted never heard of it. But searching long, and hard on the Internet I found a little book store in Cincinnati, Ohio. An when I called to confirm they did, plus asking a few questions about it to make sure it was what I'd been looking for. I bought it right then over the phone. It was in the mail box when I got home today," telling her.

"What's it about?" It's her asking as she's looking at the cover, then inside to look at the publishing date. "This is really old," she says, surprised at the age of the book.

"Yes it is Catherine. It was put together by the author from letters sent home by the men, and boys, who were away fighting the war; the American Civil War, Catherine. Everything is from first hand accounts of the solders who actually fought in battles during that war. Catherine, it's from the common foot solders point of view. The dog faces Catherine, who most of the time walked, or fought just about everywhere they went during that war."

Reaching into a cabinet to get a cup, and saucer it's Catherine behind me, "A mug like you have would be fine," she's telling me.

"Are you sure? It's really not the good china Catherine. That's stored in the basement with many other things of Sally's."

"Swagger! A mug is fine!"

"All I have is Earl Gray, is that alright too Catherine?"

"Sure, it's my favorite too," she replies.

"Tap water okay too? The water here is good, but I have bottled if you would like that instead?"

"Tap water is fine too. Plus, you probably have the same water supplier I do," she says.

"Oh, okay." Thinking a few seconds. "I never asked where you live Catherine." Turning back to see her looking back at me.

"Your right! You never have. An I never asked where you lived either, that is, until I read your directions on how to get here. Well..., I live a few miles off the express way, it's the very next one up from the one you had in your instructions, the same one my GPS indicated too Bob," she tells me, a little snicker from both of us.

"So then Catherine..., you're on the west side of the park?"

"Yes," she's telling me.

"Catherine..., this property backs up to the park boundary on this side. It's was one of the reasons we bought this place. That way no one would ever build behind us, spoiling the view," telling her.

"Well Bobby, we do live in a small world don't we," she says, sounding surprised. "We can see the park from where I live too."

"But there have been other homes built since our house was built. But they're like ours, lots of ground around it, which keeps everyone relatively far apart; room for privacy," she says.

"Yes Catherine, there used to be lots of farms out that way years ago. I guess they've all been sold off for the land value by now: huh?"

"Yes they have Bob. It was Jon's father who acquired many of those old farms; Jon was in college back then. But after Jon got his engineering degree, plus with his two brothers, one who's an accountant, the other a lawyer. And with the father's business instincts, which led to the success of their company with parceling off that land for those large expansive homes. The land value is now five to six times it's original value. Of course their company has been involved with designing, and building many those large homes too."

"Catherine, I don't have a tea kettle, so I'll have to heat the water in the microwave - I put the tea bag in with it, it's the way I do it." Changing the subject.

Because I'm very familiar with that area, it was one of my favorite areas to ride my Harley, winding back roads, farms, fields, orchards, places to rest under shady trees. creeks with cool water to dangle your feet in. Even swimming holes to skinny dip; I did that too! They were the kind of places that helped me recover my sanity, stressed from long deployments, and close calls - all gone forever now.

"Of course you can," she says. "It's only my mother who thinks heating water in the microwave makes the tea taste funny. I tell her she's full of shit! It doesn't taste a damn bit of difference. But I heat her tea water in a tea kettle just to keep her happy."

Catherine's saying that. bringing me back from under a shady tree.

"In fact..., I've heated the water with the tea bag in it, from the microwave, at the same time heating water in the tea kettle. I gave mom the cup from the microwave while I drank the tea brewed with water from the tea kettle - she didn't knew the difference. I never told her that - I just sat back and watched her enjoy her cup of tea," she says.

Something about that I should wonder about?

"An Catherine, you call me a shit!" Laughing at her.

But its listening to her, seeing her here, the smiles on her pretty face - God I'm so glad she's here! But..., why is she here? The microwave beeping snapping me back.

"Catherine, what would like in your tea," asking her.

"I like mine with honey, " she says.

"Ah..., Catherine I don't have honey. I threw that out some time ago, it was all crystallized - I thought it had gone bad."

"Oh Bobby you shouldn't have done that! You could have put it in a pot of warm water until it thinned up. Honey doesn't have an expiration date," she tells me.

"Really..., I didn't know that, I'll file that away, good to know Catherine, thank you!"

"Your welcome," her reply.

"So then, it's sugar? Anything else, milk, half and half?"

"Half and Half is good, thank you," she says.

Setting the tea mug in front of her, along with a spoon, the sugar canister, and the carton of half and half from the refrigerator, placing both of the them near by.

"I'm sorry Catherine, the tea service is in a box somewhere in the basement too."

"Bobby, I've told you, I don't need that, a fancy tea service," she says.

Where I want to kiss her so damn much, but I can't. Not till I know why she's here. So instead, "Thank you, I'll file that away for future reference too," eying her.

But its standing back watching as she fixes her tea, then taking a few sips from the mug where she sets the mug back down.

"I guess you've been wondering why I'm here?" She ask now.

"Well Catherine, it has crossed my mind."

"First Bobby, I wasn't mad at you when I left suddenly, and went back to my office, but I was upset. Not so much at what you said because I knew you were being honest - about us. An you were right! Yes, things had gone pretty far, pretty fast, we barely knew each other. I was the one who initiated it, pushed it. I told you I'm not like that with men. That time did I go so far with a man I barely knew, only to stop it at that..., that moment of crossing the line." Her reminding me from our phone conversations.

That part about going so far that man she barely new, is true. But "HIM." She barely knew. But she was there for, "HIS," wife the night she went, "all the way, with, "HIM!" An she knew, "HE," was going to be there too..., It was time. But there is more than just,"HIM!" Our stumbling through the coming months, and years I'll come to know more.

"But that relationship with my..., married friends, that is..., different! An talking with you about that is still..., for now, I'll wait more on that! Because that's been way more than you might imagine." She sure pointed that out to me that morning after at her sisters.

My imagining? Those rope burns still haven't healed all the way.

"But with you..., I was awestruck! Bobby I don't know how to say it - you just had an affect on me when I saw you. That's why I needed to get your attention. And learning about you, and getting to know you the way I have..., you're just such an amazing guy too!"

"Catherine...," holding her with my eyes. "You sure as hell got my attention!"

"Bobby, please..., just listen!" She says.

"My marriage to Jon..., I tried to explain that to you in away as..., a marriage for his convenience, my best reasoning for it over time. I know he cares about me very much, as I do for him. It's that..., the love, the affection, the closeness, just isn't there. The physical intimacy has never been what I need. I told you I do things for him, plus I initiate it because I want to - it's my way of saying thank you for everything he's given me. So in all probability as long as he, and I stay married, I'll continue doing it. As far as what I do outside of that, call it what people want, but I don't have any guilt, or regrets about it; so I don't need to explain that!"

All of what she said, is her reminding me of what she was telling me during those phone conversations when she was on that long business trip that was cut short; which led to where we are now.

"Bob what you said about us stepping back into the life we had before each other..., when I walked back into my building, that's what I did. And it stayed that way until yesterday."

"Again about what you said that day, I was going to call you, and, apologize for leaving you so abruptly. But I got hit with one issue after another, including that issue with the server, where I didn't get out of the office until after ten that evening."

"An Bob when I got home, Jon was already there. I did get a message off to him after I left you, telling him I couldn't pick him up at the airport because of what was happening, so he took an airport limo home. An with Jon home..., everything from then on went as planned, that whirlwind of the banquet, his brother's birthday party, last week in DC, thankfully that went very well until Thursday, where my flight home kept getting delayed for unexplained reasons."

"An all through it all I wanted to call you. An when I finally got up the nerve..., I was afraid of what I would hear, where I remembered you were away on your Reserve weekend anyway. The text I sent you yesterday wanting to know if you were alright, and your reply - again, I'm sorry I didn't get back to you - I was still apprehensive about what you might say."