A little about me...
My name's Caitlin, I'm 32 years young (ha ha, sorry, lame joke), I've only had two lovers in my life, been with the same man, Brad, since college and happily married for the last 3 years. We have a beautiful house together, both of us have great jobs that pay well, a healthy sex life, and are in love. To everyone on the outside we're the picture of happiness.
For the most part they would be right but there are always cracks, you know? I should explain, my first full intercourse partner showed me the joys of different positions, a more aggressive style and he enjoyed all the tricks I picked up over the years of pleasing men without intercourse. But his heart belonged to another, eventually relegating me to a friend with benefits and eventually I left. My second partner was Brad and he is shockingly good in bed, like me he is more aggressive in the bedroom than anyone would have ever thought, including me. He was the first man I was with for a long period of time and as we learned each other the sex got incredible.
You see I love sex, I really really do, and I'm not a nympho or anything but the feeling of an orgasm that makes my toes go all curly and tingly is heaven. I have a small frame, average sized breasts, a killer ass if I do say so, pale skin and red hair. I dress pretty conservatively, showing my curves but barely any skin, underneath that it's a toolbox really, some days it's thongs, g-strings, lace, mesh, others it's boring old panties and boyshorts. All about my mood. The point is that on the outside most people think I'm prudish, a little plain, my friends know I've got a dirty mind, but even they would still not imagine how much I enjoy sexual acts at home. Dressing up, giving blowjobs, teasing, orgasm games with my vibrator, spankings, I love it all.
That part excites me really, knowing I'm dirtier than people think I am, knowing men find me attractive and innocent while unaware that just last night I wore a schoolgirl costume and swallowed my Brad's load. It's sort of reverse exhibitionism I guess.
However, in the last year or so I started to feel like I wasn't as attractive or sexy anymore, and Brad paid less and less attention to me. Sure he liked getting a blowjob still, he liked having sex, but there wasn't as much passion. We stopped going out and instead stayed in and watched TV, he got kind of lazy about the whole process. We stopped experimenting and trying new things and got more into a rut. He used to send me dirty emails daily and I would send him dirty pictures but that stopped as well.
I took it upon myself to fix this via diet, exercise, and attempts at romance through clothing and toys, but it continued to be stale despite those efforts. The ultimate humiliation came when I had to bargain for a 'date night' and even that fell apart after a few weeks, the woman who used to be able to make men salivate by bending over the pool table in the bar couldn't even get her husband to go to the movies. It was a dilemma for me because I loved him dearly and he loved me, we had built a great life together and honestly I didn't want that to change, nor did I want to hurt his feelings by telling him the truth. That I was stifled, that even though we lived together and slept together, I was so very lonely. Often times I would resort to watching porn and masturbating in bed while he played video games downstairs at night as a way of getting something new.
Up until a few weeks ago I wouldn't have considered that my loneliness and longing would have lead me to do something I never saw myself doing again.
A few weeks ago I took on my 4th sexual partner in life.
Chapter 1: A happy accident
It's important to understand that while Brad knows me better than anyone ever has, especially in the bedroom, and my second partner is a close second, there was another: my best friend, Sean. I had met him almost 7 years ago working a dead end job, he was a few years younger than me but you'd never know it talking to him. Our first meeting was when I having a rough day at work, he showed up at my desk with a kind smile, some words of encouragement and (most importantly) some comforting chocolate. We got lunch later that day and hit it off immediately, we liked the same books, movies, had the same political opinions, and he understood me in a way few people do. I felt instantly at ease with him. Soon we exchanged emails and phone numbers, we started hanging out outside of work. Slowly he became my most trusted friend, I could tell him anything and no matter how crazy or intimate he would listen and treat it with respect. For a while I was worried he was after something more than friendship as he was an attractive man, tall, dark haired, confident and carried himself with attitude and a kindness that was second to none, but he never made advances of any kind.
He helped me get through my wedding, when my car broke down he was there to help, when my family had trouble he lent a hand, when I changed jobs he encouraged me. It was wonderful really. We talked about relationships, fears, likes, and sex...my god did we talk about sex. For as adventurous and creative as I was, he had me beat 10 times over. I adored that I could talk to him about all of it and he never took as more than just conversation. Since my life had gotten staler at home I had come to depend more and more on him, and to my shame I had started to take advantage of his kindness and willingness to talk. I would occasionally send him photos of sexier clothing to look at just to hear him describe how beautiful I would look in them. I would ask him about his sexual exploits with whatever woman he was currently seeing. I would steer the conversation to a sexual area and listen to him discuss it. It was wrong and I knew it but the way he talked about it, and me, stirred something in me...my chest would pound as I read it over, I would feel a throbbing between my legs, and maybe occasionally I would save those emails and read them over again later while my hand drifted down...I found that after reading them I would be crawling up the wall when Brad came to bed.
A few weeks ago I had ordered a couple of very skimpy bikinis and finally the package tracking confirmed they were waiting for me when at home. I left work early to go throw one on, then wait to great Brad at the door in it and see where that went. Getting home I opened the box and it was scandalous, the bottoms rode my hips perfectly and hugged the curve of my ass while the top barely covered my nipples. I did my hair up, got on a pair of 6 inch heels and waited to hear the key in the lock. At around 4 my phone rang with Brad's tone, I quickly ran to get it and just about tripped in my heels.
"Hello honey, are you on your way home?"
"Sorry Caitlin...I'm going to have to work late tonight, don't wait up for me okay?"
"Are you sure? I got something kinda special cooked up tonight."
"I'm really sorry, but I just can't."
"What if I told you I was sitting here in a skimpy bikini waiting for you to get home?"
"I would feel even worse about having to work late, but I would know my Caitlin would wear it again for me tomorrow" he laughed
*sigh* "Okay, well, I'll leave you something in the fridge for dinner..."
"Thanks honey, you're the best. Love you"
"Love you too, dear"
Hanging up the phone I couldn't have felt more deflated by the whole situation. I took off the heels and slinked upstairs to shower off my makeup and get changed into something comfy. As I walked past the mirror I looked at my naked body, damnit I was hot and he should want this. I threw on my bathrobe and fired up my laptop while I dried my hair "hmm...maybe some Queen to ease my pain", as I went to hit play a chat window popped up from Sean.
"Hey darlin, you ran off in a hurry, didn't get to say goodbye"