It was, she reflected, a new thing. If nothing else, today was definitely a 'new thing' for her. Simply, she was nervous, and becoming more nervous with each passing minute.
They'd talked online; he was witty, amiable, and apparently fit. He also (she thought--hoped) possessed some innate understanding of women which so many men never acquired. What attracted her most, she thought, was that he appeared to genuinely like women as individuals, and had always demonstrated a genuine respect for her opinions and desires.
It was inevitable, perhaps, that they would agree in the end to meet in an attempt to fulfil their mutual fantasy. It was interesting, she mused, that he appeared to understand what so many did not—that what made her 'breeding fantasies' so powerful for her lay not just in the notion of the physical act, important though that would be, but in the complete engagement of her psyche by a partner who would make her his in the most fundamental way. The idea of total surrender to her deepest instincts was irresistibly compelling.
He understood. So many others did not, instead waxing lyrical about their prowess, the 'size of their manhood', or even, heaven help her, about how many other partners they had had—not to mention how invariably pleased, stunned and overwhelmed those partners had been. Such men didn't attract her, since they seemed to be more concerned with advertising their own supposed superiority than with getting to know her. She suspected that, in bed, they would spend half their time mindlessly pounding her, pausing the other half to check and fix their hair in the nearest reflective surface. That's the secret, really, she thought. 'Real men' care for their partners.
Still, it felt so very odd. She'd never met a stranger for the express purpose of sex, much less to fulfill a fantasy. To be honest, she'd always had at least some sort of acquaintance first—a date or three, a genuine liking. The closest she'd come to wild, unbridled lust had occurred in college when she'd practically attacked a new boyfriend in, of all places, a cornfield, much to his delight and her belated astonishment at her own impulsiveness. Perhaps that was why she anticipated this encounter with a trepidation which was itself exciting. What would it be like? What would he be like? Would it be utterly carnal? Tender? Sweet? Passionate and romantic? Dull?
He was due to arrive momentarily; she'd made up the bed, moving in a waking dream. Before she'd dressed she'd stood in the bedroom, nude, regarding herself in the mirror: a young woman of regular features. She'd never thought herself as anything more than passable, though every man she'd known had protested that she was in fact beautiful. She'd gazed at her reflection, attempting to see herself as he would see her: shoulder length, wavy brown hair, brown eyes, straight nose, a mouth which smiled a lot, a faint dusting of freckles (a curse of her childhood, she thought, though many men thought it made her even more lovely, or so they'd said). Trim body: her breasts weren't large, but well-proportioned. Slender waist, nicely curved hips, toned legs. At least she was presentable, she decided. Would he like her? She'd stood a while longer, imagining his hands on her, wondering how it would be. At last she'd laughed aloud and put on a simple blouse, a summery skirt, and sandals. And then she'd stood in her living room, nervous, even a bit scared, she admitted, and wondering if she should just back out, pretend not to be home, hide away.
The doorbell rang. Her heart pounded; she swallowed hard and opened the door.
He was of average height and looks, balding, in fact—that was her first impression. He did have a very nice smile, however, and briefly took her hand. His own was warm and dry. He stepped across the threshold; the feeling of unreality returned as she realized that a relative stranger was in her house, and that they proposed to engage in the most intimate of acts. She swallowed hard.
'I'm not sure what to say, um, would you like something to drink....?'
He smiled widely, understandingly in reply. 'I'm nervous, too' was his only comment. He took her hand gently yet firmly. The contact jolted her, confusing, exciting and frightening. He looked around, eyes settling on the bedroom door, and without a word he led her through: a stranger in her inner sanctum, and without so much as any small talk. Her heart pounded. She hadn't envisaged it all happening so quickly; some time to assess, to weigh him up, to decide...but she knew, somehow, that he was to be trusted, that he'd never hurt her.
They stood in her bedroom; twilight was falling outside. Still clasping her hand, he reached to the nightstand lamp and turned it on. He turned to face her, his eyes kind and warm on hers, as if he understood what she was feeling and wanted to offer calm reassurance. Without a word he softly, gently drew her to him, lips seeking hers. This can't be happening, she thought, it's too fast, nothing like I thought! His lips were soft on hers, gentle, seeking, and in her confusion she let him kiss her. The feeling of sudden contact was delightful, and his tongue ever so delicately flicked along her lower lip, then the upper, pushing oh so softly between, urging her to respond. She tried to stop, to fight, and her mouth opened in response, her tongue touching his quickly, lightly, exploring, tasting, his hands on her back, drawing her strongly against him. She felt her breasts pressing against his chest, and the pressure on her nipples was delicious. She wanted the kiss to go on forever. She wanted him to stop: it wasn't proper to go so fast, she needed time to decide whether she wanted to go through with this, and her tongue probed aggressively, her lips and teeth against his, a hunger she'd never known before. The warm sensuality of the kiss with a stranger was its own seductive lure. And he was so kind, so gentle.
His hands were warm on her back, caressing, reassuring, moving from her shoulder blades down, down, to the small of her back, then up, never stopping, urging her to let go. His tongue probed deeply, a promise of a greater joining to come, his hand caressed the curve of her lower back, awakening a warmth that radiated in lazy waves deep into her core, into her secret places, and she felt a liquid heat rising in response, she had to stop while she could, but his hands were so warm and the feel of them on her was so pleasant, that she decided to savor just one more moment before disengaging. So gentle, so firm, never stopping, awakening her.... She pulled away, but oddly she found she hadn't done so at all; her arms had twined beneath his, clasping the back of his neck, drawing him to her, and she drank in his taste, his tongue exploring her mouth, so kind and soft, so insistent, and she dimly sensed a warm, dark, endlessly deep pool towards whose shore she floated. So calm and still, and if once her spirit entered, she knew she would never truly leave again. The masculine presence surrounded her, wordlessly urging her to submit, to enter the warm, dark waters.
His arms protected her, enfolding her body and her spirit, sheltering and nurturing, all the more so for the event being so rapid and so unexpected. Is this what sex should be like?, she thought hazily. I never knew, never knew at all. But I must stop this before it goes any further.
His hands moved beneath the loose fabric of her blouse,, warmly caressing the lower curve of her back, the base of her spine, and she gasped inaudibly at the spurt of wetness she felt inside her. He's preparing me, oh god it feels so good, he's really going to breed me and I'm not sure I want it. My nipples are getting hard, this is embarrassing, and she pressed herself against him, revelling as his chest moved against them, the pressure arousing her yet further. He broke the kiss, and it was as if paradise had been barred to her. Wordless, he moved behind her, hands caressing her shoulders, never pausing, and he drew her back into him, his mouth nuzzling her neck, tongue and lips delicately tracing her collarbone, then up to just beneath her ear, nibbling, kissing, licking, down to the softness beneath her jaw, up again, dizzying, his hands on her hips now, caressing possessively, tenderly.